The Amazing Race
by Gamer21
Summary: COMPLETE! 14 teams...12 lands...1 million reasons to win. Join the Smashers in a journey of epic proportions as they race around the world of Nintendo to win the million. A journey of romance, humor, and action...welcome to the Amazing Race.
1. The Beginning: Ready, Set, GO!

YES! It is the first chapter of the Amazing Race! WOOT!

P.S. I know of hoogiman's story. I am not ripping him/her off, ya hear?

* * *

Scurrying.

Over and over again.

The yellow Pokémon was scurrying around his room, burning off his excess energy. Life was good for him; he had one of the largest rooms in the Mansion to himself, he was treated decently, and he had many friends in the Mansion, some of whom he would play pranks with. One of his pranks included scaring one of the new people, a mage from Fire Emblem, by holding a head of wax covered in red paint in front of her face using a fishing pole. She had fainted straightaway, and the Pokémon and his friends had laughed so hard their laughter echoed off the walls of the Mansion, scaring the crap out of everyone in the Mansion. He smiled at all the wonderful memories. At this time a kid had showed up at Pichu's room, twirling his baseball hat and yawning somewhat.

"Hey, Pichu, whazzup?"

"Good morning, Ness!" Pichu was nodding to his best friend, who was one of only two psychics who resided in the house. "Nothing much. So, what does the Council of the Prankmasters say today?"

"The CotP says to take a break and relax." Ness had formed a ball of ectoplasmic energy, and he was spinning it around in a bored manner. "But I want to prank Roy today."

"I wouldn't risk it," Pichu was sitting on his couch, and motioned Ness to do the same. "He'd slice your head off. But you know..." Pichu whispered into Ness' ear, and Ness' face grimaced, and then contorted into an evil smirk. "...sound good?"

"Oh, hell yes!" Ness was grinning ear to ear, but then asked, "Wait, wouldn't that make his mouth as dark as a moonless night in winter?"

"SSHH!" Pichu replied in an agonized voice. "You're giving the readers too much info!"

"...am I missing something here? What are you talking about?"

"Never have you minded about trivial details I have mentioned before!" Pichu replied. "Now come on, talk's cheap!" Ness and Pichu ran out the door, but Pichu turned to the computer screen and replied in its normal high-pitched voice, "Actually, we have nothing planned, so I did that to add suspense to the chapter. Ooh, scary!" Pichu squeaked playfully, but Ness caught his attention at last.

"Come on, Pichu!"

"I'm coming, for Lugia's sake! Hold your Ponytas..."

* * *

Meeting up with Young Link, the Ice Climbers, and Kirby in the cafeteria, Ness and Pichu grabbed some food and sat down to discuss the day's plans.

"So, Grandmaster Young Link, the Council of the Prankmasters is present and accounted for! What are our objectives today?" Ness playfully saluted Young Link, who laughed and gulped down some spaghetti.

"Well, we are to-" He was abruptly cut off by Master Hand, who had floated to the center of the room with his brother, Crazy Hand.

"May I have your attention, please? May I have your attention, please?" Master Hand was trying to quiet them all. As usual, Falco muttered cockily, "Man, what now? Don't ya know we're eating here?" He was quieted by a 'Shut up' from Master Hand, who then asked, "Who wants to travel the world?" The question was greeted by squeals of delight, several questions and a random phrase from Bowser. "Okay, you are all going to be in The Amazing Race." Everyone cheered as Master Hand continued, "Now, then choose your teammate."

"Hmm...I am going with Pikachu." Pichu then scooted next to him, who rubbed his head playfully.

"Um...Roy?" Lilina squeaked. "Is it okay if I..."

"Yeah, it's okay. Come along." Roy grasped the young mage in a hug, causing Lilina to blush furiously.

"And you are coming with me." Marth motioned for Sheeda, who squealed with delight and jumped him. This continued for sometime with replies somewhat similar to the three displayed. Master Hand then proceeded to take account of everything. "Let's see...the teams are as follows:"

Mario and Luigi- Brothers

"Damn-a straight!"

"You got-a that right!"

Peach and Samus- Best Friends

"OOOH! How delightful!"

"Meh, it's not that bad..."

Link and Zelda- Dating

"This'll be good for us, Zel."

"Oh, Link..." They proceeded to kiss each other.

...yeah. Get a room, lovebirdbrains.

Bowser and Ganondorf- Villains

"We shall overcome all!"

"We are the masters of the universe!"

DK and Yoshi- Fellow Creatures

"Yay! Let us ride to victory!"

"Me want bananas."

...meathead...

Kirby and Jigglypuff- Dating On/Off

"We just want to rekindle our relationship again..."

"Alas, our love's view is muffled still!"

...you read too much Shakespeare.

Fox and Falco- Workmates

"Can't mess with us."

"Our mission to win will be successful, and we'll crush all in our way!"

Ness and Mewtwo- Psychics

"Our power will conquer all."

"I foresee our victory in this incredible game of life."

Popo and Nana- Siblings

"Yeah! We will win!"

"What he said!"

...hmm.

Pikachu and Pichu- Best Friends

"Yayness! We get to see the world!"

"I must admit, I am a little excited myself!"

Roy and Lilina- Best Friends

"Personally, I just want to see the world. It's pretty cool."

"Yeah, Roy, but a cool million is also good to have!"

Marth and Sheeda- Lovers

"I have greatly desired to see the world for all its worth."

"I guess we've com to the right place, then!"

Young Link and Dr. Mario- Friends

"This should be good..."

"I-a show you all-a! Doctors-a will win-a!"

Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch- Acquaintances

"Must I be with this weirdo?"

"BEEP!" _Watch your mouth, you philanderer!_

"...and that's the teams. Now all we need is a host." Master Hand was a little freaked when Crazy Hand poured chocolate sauce all over himself.

"Why not you?" Yoshi was a little curious as to why Master Hand didn't want to participate.

"I'm going on vacation, and Crazy Hand is...not in his right mind."

"Is he ever?" Lilina's outburst gave several Smashers a good laugh, to which Master Hand replied, "That's why he's named Crazy Hand, duh!"

"Well, I will host."

"Ack!" Master Hand and the Smashers turned to the newcomer, cloaked in a black robe to mask their identity. "I don't believe it. It's..."

* * *

Well, well, well. Who's the host? Unfortunately, I already have a host who is ready and waiting. This is history in the making. If you want to be part of that history, send me a review detailing your name, penname, age, what you look like (eyecolor, your clothes, any weapons, etc. Be creative!), and your favorite Smasher to _The Amazing Race, PO Box 15150, Smash Island, Nintendo, 55555-5555_. I may give you a co-host job or a cameo appearance! And thank you to the reviewers of my first story, New Smasher on the Block! I feel so loved...

Please read, review, and send in to win!

Gamer21


	2. From the Grand Metropolis to Termina

Chapter 2 of the Amazing Race! 3...2...1...GO!

BTW, Nintendo Nut1 is the host, in case you're wondering.

**Responses:**

I have no reviews. Oh well, the show must go on...

* * *

Master Hand and the Smashers beheld a 15-year-old girl that, from her features, seemed to be a Hylian, yet she also had the characteristics of a wolf. Her bronze hair reached to her shoulders, and her yellow eyes, with their turquoise pupils, were bright and full of excitement. Her purple short-sleeved jacket seemed to go with the jeans she wore, and there was also a holster on her thigh and waist, carrying the elbow blades she used as weapons. She also had an Uzi in her right hand. Eyeing the Smashers dubiously, she strolled over to Master Hand, whose posture assumed an air of surprise, discontent and some polite incredulity. "Are you the Master Hand that runs the tournament?"

"Uh...yes, I am?"

"Yayness! Yayness! Yayness!" She spun around, something she would do the whole course of the race, and stopped suddenly to stare at Link. "OOH! So kawaii!" She immediately began to play with Link's ears, all the while the Smashers staring in shock.

"Is she the host!" Captain Falcon bellowed. "Hell, I think I'll pass."

"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Her voice had the qualities of a she-devil and a corrosive acid, causing Captain Falcon to shit himself. As the yellow fluid rolled down his pant leg and created a puddle on the floor, Fox asked, "Who are you?"

"_Moi?_ I...I can't tell you my name for legal reasons. However, my penname is Nintendo Nut1." She nodded, as to justify something that the Smashers did not know. "I am the host, so you'll have to bear with me here, okay? I'll try not to act _too_ crazy...so, shall we start?"

"YEAH!" everyone replied.

* * *

As the HEXAeco tower began to chime the countless hours, the streets and the skies above the Grand Metropolis filled with cars. They seemed to weave through the buildings of metal and wood as the harbor came into view. The harbor was a huge bay that was full of boats, buoys, and an erratic sprawl of docks. Among the warehouses and storefronts were trees that lined the coast. Nintendo Nut1 had stepped into view, and she began to explain the events surrounding the harbor. "I am standing upon Herringway Avenue, 'the Street of Shops' in the Grand Metropolis, one of the most important ports on the Smash Island. From this historic harbor, 14 teams will embark on a race around Nintendo for 1 million." Soon several helicopters were flying into view, and she explained, "Helicopters are now racing the teams toward the harbor. Each team is made up of two people with an existing relationship. The 14 teams are...

"Mario and Luigi, brothers and heroes from the Mushroom Kingdom,  
"Mario and I...we don't-a exactly have-a the best relationship-a as far as-a brothers-a go." Luigi replied. "I never did-a appreciate-a my brother, and-a we're-a hoping this-a race will bring us-a together."

"Yes-a, well, I-a love my brother, and it-a pains me to-a see him like-a this." Mario hugged Luigi, and finished, "We-a want to-a be brothers in terms-a of emotions and-a behavior."

"Peach and Samus, best friends from the Mushroom Kingdom and Planet Zebes,  
"We enjoy psyching teams out." Samus replied. "It's fun to see the looks on their faces when they get beaten bay a bunch of girls."

"And we want to win to prove girls can be as tough as boys!" Peach finished.

"Link and Zelda, who are dating each other and is a hero and princess from Hyrule,  
"We like each other. If we have any weaknesses, the other uses their strengths to help and vice versa." Link replied.

"I guess we came here because we want to get closer to each other." Zelda finished, her head on Link's shoulder.

"Bowser and Ganondorf, villains from Mushroom Kingdom and Hyrule,  
"Yeah!" Bowser shouted. "We'll win..."

"...and crush all in our way!" Ganondorf ended. "That's all there is to it!"

"DK and Yoshi, fellow creatures from Kongo Jungle and Yoshi's Island,  
"Yoshi! I want to win so I can eat all the fruit I want!"

"Well, I just value traveling the world, seeing new places, eat a lot of bananas, maybe met some girls..." DK replied.

"Hmm...interesting." Yoshi finished.

"Kirby and Jigglypuff, dating on and off for three years from Pop Star and Kanto,  
"Kirby is very competitive, and so am I, but not to the extreme." Jigglypuff replied.

"Well, I don't know what's keeping us together, but it's a hell of a lot stronger than what's tearing us apart." Kirby finished.

"Fox and Falco, workmates from Corneria,  
"We have a complex that prevents up from quitting." Fox answered. "We want to win as much as anyone..."

"And win we will do, this is like cake to us!" Falco finished.

"Ness and Mewtwo, psychics from Eagleland and Kanto,  
"No comment." Ness and Mewtwo replied.

"okay...Popo and Nana, siblings from the Infinite Glacier,  
"We may be little, but we're tough!" Popo replied.

"And we're ready to show the other teams who's boss!" Nana finished.

"Pikachu and Pichu, buddies from Kanto and Johto,  
"We first met on the set of the _Pikachu and Pichu_ short in Brooklyn," Pikachu replied. "I wanted to see the world, and so did Pichu. And that's why we're here. Pika!"

"Yay! I love to travel, and have a friend by my side, and did I say I love to travel?" Pichu added, causing them both to laugh.

"Roy and Lilina, best friends from Pherae and Ostia,  
"Personally, I feel a lot better with Lilina around. She's a great friend, a good-hearted soul, and she keeps me in check if something goes wrong." Roy opted.

"And I...I wouldn't know what to do without him. I would not leave his side, because he's my favorite person in all Lycia." Lilina finished.

"Aw, shucks..."

"Marth and Sheeda, lovers from Altea and Talis,  
"Well, we first met during this battle in Altea, and she is still as beautiful as she was when we first met." Marth replied.

"Stop it...you're making me blush..."Sheeda replied.

"That's because you're so beautiful."

"Marth..."

"Young Link and Dr. Mario, friends from Hyrule and Mushroom Kingdom,  
"No comment."

"And Captain Falcon (coughevilasscough) and Mr. Game & Watch, from Port Town and Flat Zone."  
We are-" Captain Falcon started.

"But who cares about them? Can these teams put up with the stress of traveling with one another over more than 40,000 miles? Who will come up with the right combination of brains, brawn, and teamwork to win a pot of chocolate?"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"I meant 1 million. Sorry. These questions and more will be answered as we get ready to begin...the Amazing Race." Nintendo Nut1 then ran off to the starting point, chewing on a chocolate bar. "Mmm...good..."

She later joined the teams at the starting point, singing and twirling all the way. "She's nuts..." "French fries good." "What the devil are you talking about?" "Burpaholic!"

"Ok. In just a few minutes, you are all leaving in a race around the world. The race is split into a number of legs. And as you travel, you will have to complete a various set of tasks. You will receive a small amount of cash at the start of each leg. That money has to cover _all _expenses except air fare. At the end of each leg there is a pit stop. 11 of these pit stops are elimination points, so get to them as fast as you can, because the last team to check in will be eliminated. Do you understand?" After receiving a series of 'Yes's from the teams, she continued, "You will find your first clue on top of the luggage that you brought with you," Nintendo Nut1 motioned towards the Smashers' baggage. "Once I give the word, you can run to your luggage, read the clue, jump into one of the cars in the parking lot," She then motioned towards the parking lot, where several hovercars were parked. "And then the rest...is up to you. The first team to cross the finish line will get the 1 million." Receiving cheers from everyone, Nintendo Nut1 asked, " Is everybody ready? Good! Nintendo's waiting...Good luck, and travel safe...GO!" She had to jump out of the way to avoid being trampled by a mob of Smashers, and dropped her chocolate. BOO! Anyway, Pikachu and Pichu, being fleeter of foot, reached their clue long before everyone else.

"Let's see..." Pichu began reading. "'Fly to the land of Hyrule.' YAY! 'Once there, travel by carriage to the Hyrule Market and search for your next clue. Teams can only depart via two flights leaving the O' Sheller Airport: Corneria flight 283, or Mushroom flight 398. You have 132 dollars for this leg of the race.' Well, let's go!" Pikachu and Pichu bounded into the hovercar and sped off, gaining a huge head start.

"Little buggers..." Link replied as he read the clue. "Come on, Zel, let's move."

"Why? We know about Hyrule more than anyone else..." Then she noticed Ganondorf and Young Link running up, and replied, "Point taken. Let's make like an egg and beat it!" They jumped into their hovercar and sped off after Pikachu and Pichu.

"Mamma Mia!" Mario squeaked. "Let's-a move!" Mario and Luigi hopped into the hovercar after them.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Buddies  
__Currently in 1st place_

"Pichu, where is it!" Pikachu was driving erratically through the Grand Metropolis, dodging cars and knocking over trashcans and light posts. People on the sidewalk had to jump into the street to avoid them, and this caused several car crashes in their wake.

"According to this map, we're already there." Pichu pointed ahead, and Pikachu saw the airport on-ramp. He drove on, managing to not cause any more crashes.

Sighing, Pikachu replied exasperatingly, "That went well," parking in the garage and running to the shuttle.

_Link and Zelda  
__Dating  
__Currently in 2nd place_

"Look out!" Link had to swerve again as he avoided cars that were littered in the street. This continued until they finally reached the airport on-ramp.

"Pokémon are bad drivers..." Link and Zelda caught the shuttle, causing Pikachu and Pichu to sigh. "They're here..."

"Let's just hop no other teams show up..." Pichu replied.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Lovers  
__Currently in 4th place_

"Holy crap, where'd this come from!" Marth had barely enough time to dodge the cars, while Sheeda was being tossed around in the back. "Marth! Stop that!"

"There's cars all over the road. It's unavoidable." Marth had raced past Mario and Luigi, who was having their own problems to deal with. "Hey, did we just pass the Mario brothers?"

"Looks like it. That's good." Sheeda replied as Marth boarded the on-ramp.

_Capt. Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch  
__Acquaintances  
__Currently in Last Place_

"Geez, if that crazy broad didn't hold us up, we'd be in first..." Capt. Falcon was plowing through everything in his way, whether it was cars, light posts, or other teams.

"BEEP."

"Well said."

_Roy and Lilina  
__Best Friends  
__Currently in 5th place_

"We're tied, aren't we..." Roy was staring at Pikachu, Pichu, Link, Zelda, Mario, Luigi, Marth, Sheeda, and Lilina as they were riding the first shuttle to the airport.

"Yep."

"Well, we might as well work together." Lilina had pulled out a cell phone and called the airport. "Yes, I'd like to know...no, I'm not...Corneria flight 283...no, I want to know...what? The other flight? It's Mushroom...oh...oh, well, thank you." She hung up, and turned to the others. "It looks like the Corneria flight leaves later, but arrives 30 minutes earlier than the Mushroom flight."

"Then that's where we go." With that, everyone got out of the shuttle and ran off to the Corneria flight counter.

**2nd shuttle to airport**

"Here we are." The other teams were piling up at the Mushroom flight counter. Grabbing their tickets, they boarded the flight.

Nintendo Nut1 replied in a voiceover tone, "On the Corneria flight 283 is Roy and Lilina, Marth and Sheeda, Mario and Luigi, Pikachu and Pichu, and Link and Zelda, who will arrive 30 minutes earlier than the other teams. All the other teams are on the Mushroom flight 398. Once they reach Hyrule Market, they must locate the Nayru Fountain, where they will receive their next clue. Ok, where's my chocolate..."

_Mario and Luigi  
__Brothers  
__Currently in 1st place_

"Taxi! Taxi!" Soon after, a carriage with a yellow checkerboard canopy slowed down, letting them get on. "To-a the Hyrule-a Market!"

Sometime later, they had reached the drawbridge to the castle. However,...

"Closed?"

"Oh-a, crap. There goes our-a lead." Luigi had removed their luggage. At this point, all the other teams showed up, all with the same reaction. Sensing there was nothing to do; they decided to sleep outside the gate.

**The next morning...**

"Everyone's nervous." Yoshi replied. "We're all at square one, and this is already at the wire. YO, HURRY UP, GUARD, SHIT!" Yoshi had tossed an egg at the guard, causing him to fall off the tower. "Oops..."

"Nice going, Yoshi." Link took this time to shoot the ropes, sending the drawbridge crashing down. Smiling at his aim, he was greeted by angry stares from all the Smashers. "What?"

"You could shoot down the ropes on the drawbridge?" Bowser asked through gritted teeth. While everyone was mauling Link, Pikachu and Pichu noticed the clue box. Sneaking over to the fountain, they grabbed the clue, but not before taking a picture of the fountain. "Let's see... 'Take a carriage to Lake Hylia...'"

Nintendo Nut1 replied, "Teams must now use a carriage to go to the beaches of Lake Hylia. Once there, teams must search three different piles of sand to locate plane tickets

for their next destination: Clock Town, Termina. Once a team has grabbed a set of tickets, they may not search anymore."

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place_

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" With that, they called a taxi and rode off.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 2nd place_

"Whew...finally escaped." Link was all torn up, to say the least. He and Zelda grabbed the clue, called a taxi, and made a break for it. Just in time, too, because several teams stampeded the clue box just seconds after.

_Fox and Falco  
__Workmates  
__Currently in 3rd place_

"Ha-ha! Eat our righteous dust!" Falco bit his thumb at the teams left behind, and they were mad as hell.

"Falco..." Fox's jaw jumped. "I don't think that was a good idea..."

"It's ok, we can...hey! We passed Link and Zelda!" Falco screeched. "We're in second! We're nigh invin-what the hell..."

_Popo and Nana  
__Siblings  
__Currently in 2nd place_

"I love ice." Popo had frozen the area in front of their carriage, causing Fox and Falco's carriage to get stuck in the ice and Link and Zelda's to crash. Furthermore, the ice had numbed the gate so much they literally plowed through it when they came.

"Wow, brother, that's cool!" Nana laughed.

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__Friends  
__Currently in 3rd place_

"Hahaha, you all are last and we're not!" Young Link hollered in a singsong voice.

"Shut-a up while-a we're ahead." Dr. Mario scolded.

"Sorry."

And by some extraordinary fluke, Fox and Falco reach the beaches first!

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 1st place_

"Sweet!" Fox was jumping around, but he stopped and asked, "Now what?"

"I think we're supposed to dig." Falco was checking the times scrawled onto the dunes. "6, 6:30, and 7. We're getting the 6." Unearthing a set of tickets, they ran over to nearby hut and relaxed. Good thing, too, because Bowser and Ganondorf charged through, leveling all in their way. "Yo, Bowser, that must be the sand dunes!" Ganondorf shouted pointed towards the dunes.

"Hey, I got a 6:30 ticket! We the bomb!" Bowser shouted, unearthing another plane ticket.

"You did know there was one for 6, right?" Falco shouted from across the beach.

"Fudgemonkeys...this sucks..."

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 3rd place_

"Hey, the beach. I wonder..." DK was cut off by Yoshi.

"We gotta get the tickets first!" Yoshi was looking at the sand piles. "6, 6:30, 7. What to do..."

"Oh, geez..." DK smacked the 6 sandpile, sending 3 tickets all over the area nearby. DK grabbed one of the tickets, then ran off to get a banana smoothie.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 4th place_

"Hey, there's a ticket!" Link grabbed it from the sand. 'Nuff said.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 5th place_

"Roy! Grab the ticket!" Roy pulled the final 6 o'clock ticket from the sand.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Currently in 6th place_

"Well, hmm...there's 6:30 and 7." Marth replied. "Where's the 6, though?"

"They probably took the 6." Sheeda replied, pointing to the other teams.

"Oh well..." Marth grabbed a 6:30 ticket from the dune and ran off to the cabana.

_Kirby and Jigglypuff  
__Dating On/Off  
__Currently in 7th place_

"So, where's the ticket?" Kirby asked.

"Did you search the sand dunes?" Jigglypuff asked Kirby.

"No..." Kirby unearthed another 6:30 ticket and ran to the cabana.

_Popo and Nana  
__Currently in 8th place_

"Crap..." Popo unearthed a 6:30 ticket and collapsed on the spot.

_Peach and Samus  
__Friends  
__Currently in 9th place_

"Seriously, why does this happen to us?" Peach screamed, her dress covered in mud. "Hyrule stinks! I wanna go home!" This outburst earned her several glares from Link, Zelda and Ganondorf.

"SHUT UP!" Samus dug out another 6:30 ticket from the sand pile. "Better 9th than last!"

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__Friends  
__Currently in 10th place_

"There's a sand dune!" Young Link yelled. "I'll get the ticket, OK?"

"Just don't do something crazy..."

Young Link was already at the sand pile. "I don't feel like digging...aha!" He dropped a bomb next to the sand pile. It exploded and sent a geyser of dirt all over the beach and nailed everyone in the cabana. This also sent two packs of airline tickets into the air, and Young Link grabbed one of them. "Yay!"

"He's-a crazy..." Dr. Mario shook his head in wonder and disbelief.

"EW! I HAVE SAND ALL OVER MY DRESS! WAH!" Peach was screaming bloody murder because of the sand torrent earlier. Everyone else shook it off and watched Peach scream at the top of her lungs before Kirby KO'ed her with his hammer, earning him the praise of the other teams.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Fellow Psychics  
__Currently in 10th place_

"If we foresaw their defeat, why are we in 10th?" Mewtwo muttered to himself.

"I have no idea. Let's just grab a ticket and go!" Ness used telekinesis to obtain the final 6:30 ticket, leaving everyone else with the 7 tickets.

Nintendo Nut1 bellowed, "All 14 teams are now on flights to Clock Town, each of them landing 30 minutes apart. The first flight, leaving at 6, has Roy and Lilina, Link and Zelda, and Fox and Falco. The second flight, leaving at 6:30, has Bowser and Ganondorf, DK and Yoshi, Marth and Sheeda, Kirby and Jigglypuff, Popo and Nana, Young Link and Dr. Mario, Peach and Samus, and Ness and Mewtwo. The third flight, leaving at 7, has Mario and Luigi, Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch, and Pikachu and Pichu. Once they reach Clock Town, the teams must ascend the Clock Tower and reach the roof, where they will find their next clue." She left, but not before whispering, "Yes...Captain Falcon is last...burn in hell..."

**Clock Town: Termina International Airport**

**Flight #1: Hoenn 144 from Hyrule**

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 1st place_

"Here's the tower." Roy remarked. "Wow...it's pretty tall..."

"You go first, Roy." Lilina replied.

"Why?"

Lilina squeaked, "I don't want you looking up my skirt!" She then pushed him into the tower and up the steps, Roy spluttering protests and blushing furiously. Roy then ran up the steps to the roof and read the clue. "It's a Road Block. Hoo boy... 'Who's ready to have a high-flying adventure?'"

Nintendo Nut1 explained, "This is a Road Block. A Road Block is a task that only one person may perform, and a person cannot perform more than six road blocks in the entire race, lest they burn in hell. JUST KIDDING! HAHAHAHAHAHA...anyway, in this Road Block, one person has to go to the observation deck of the Clock Tower and ride ziplines across Clock Town until they reach the east gate. Once they complete the task, the guard will give them the next clue."

"Hmm...I'll do it." Lilina ran down to the observation deck.

"Are you sure?"

"Hey, I can't let you have all the fun..." Lilina looked to see several ziplines strung over Clock Town in every which way. "Holy crap...this'll be harder than I thought..."

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 2nd place_

"Ziplines, huh? No prob, I'll do it." Falco geared up and rushed through the ziplines, hardly breaking a sweat. He rushed through the city and reached the guard, who handed them the next clue. "Thanks." Behind him was Lilina, who was screaming, who crashed into a bush.

"Oh boy..." Fox muttered. "'Travel by foot to Romani's Ranch...'"

Nintendo Nut1 replied, "Teams must travel by foot to Romani's Ranch and the end of this path. Once there, they must find the corral to receive their next clue."

Fox sighed. With Roy and Lilina hot on their heels, Fox and Falco sprinted in the direction of the ranch.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 3rd place_

"Road Block... I'll do it." Link ran down to the observation deck and crossed the ziplines faster than the readers finishing this paragraph. "Romani's Ranch...come on, Zelda."

**Clock Town: Termina International Airport**

**Flight #2: FlatZone 457 from Hyrule**

_Bowser and Ganondorf  
__Currently in 5th place_

"Dammit, Bowser, why didn't you check the times! Of all the accursed-" Ganondorf said a flurry of cuss words that I would rather not mention right now.

"Shut up. That's all you do, talk talk talk talk talk. Just get the clue already, you twit." Bowser replied. He turned to the computer screen and remarked, "Hey, readers, he is a good friend, but sometimes I have an overwhelming urge to slap him. Is that so wrong?"

After reading the clue, he remarked, "You do it. I'm too heavy to fly."

"Whatever..."

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Currently in 6th place_

"Well, well." Marth was looking over Clock Town while riding the ziplines. "This is fun!"

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 5th place_

"That was too easy..." Ness remarked, reading the clue. "A footrace, huh? We're on!"

"Hmm...let us warp." They went from 5th to 1st in an instant. "That was too easy..." He got the clue and read. "Detour-Rope A Mare or Rope A Basket."

Nintendo Nut1 explained, "A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this detour, teams must choose between Rope A Mare or Rope A Basket. In Rope A Mare, teams must lasso a young horse and bring it to the stables. This task is not physically demanding, but the stubbornness of the horse could make it a time consumer. In Rope A Basket, teams must carry a 45 pound basket of alfalfa to Clock Town using a rope 3 feet long over a distance of 2 miles to the Fresh Crop Market. The task is physically demanding, but teams with strength, speed and stamina will finish quickly."

"What do you think?" Ness asked.

"Let's rope that basket. We can warp to Termina..." Mewtwo reasoned.

"OK!"

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 2nd place_

"Hmm...Detour. Which one?" Fox asked.

"Let's check our stats...strength is 3/5, speed is 4/5, and stamina is 3/5. Let's get that basket." Falco reasoned.

"Whatever suits you..." Fox and Falco found the baskets and roped them around their backs, running off to the town.

**Clock Town: Termina International Airport**

**Flight #3: Rogueport 321 from Hyrule**

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 12th place_

"Road Block...I'll do it." Blasting through the ziplines and the path, Pikachu led Pichu and they went from 12th to 6th, worming their way to the clue box. "Detour, huh? Rope A Mare." Pichu replied as they ran to the corral.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 1st place_

"That was easy." Mewtwo remarked as the store clerk gave them the clue. "This'll be cake. 'Make your way to the Pit Stop, the Makiva Tower...'"

Nintendo Nut1 replied, "Teams must now go to the Pit Stop: the Makiva Tower. Named one of the tallest buildings in Nintendo, this building, graced with eight buttresses and known as the 'Watchman of Termina,' is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in will burn. JUST KIDDING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Actually, they'll be eliminated. So hop to it!"

"She can't be serious..." Ness hopped out of the stable, as Mewtwo sighed and followed after him.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 3rd place_

"This is easy!" Using Epona's Song to calm the mare, it obediently followed Link into the stables, where the stableman gave them the clue.

"Hmm, the Makiva Tower, huh? I know where it is." Link muttered.

"So let's go!" Zelda replied, running after Link.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 2nd place_

"Hey, do you know where the Makiva Tower is?" Fox asked a local villager.

"Take T-Car."

"Um...okay...thanks..." Falco dragged Fox out of the way and wondered, "What's a T-Car?" A villager overheard and told them, "It's her way of saying a taxi."

"...that makes things a hell of a lot easier..."

_Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch  
__Currently in Last Place_

'Nuff said.

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Makiva Tower...

"So, are you ready to present?" Nintendo Nut1 asked the person next to her. He was a stout old gentleman, with a hair and beard as white as snow, and royalty garb upon him. He also had a red hulking coat upon him, and a crown was perched on his head.

"I am ready." He replied.

"Good. Here's a team now." Nintendo Nut1 pointed out. Link and Zelda ran up to them, and Zelda cried out in shock. "D-dad!"

"By Din's Fire...it's His Majesty!" Link stood agape.

"Well, it's good to see you both again." The king replied.

"Same here." After exchanging pleasantries, they stepped onto the world map in front of Nintendo Nut1.

"Link and Zelda...you are team number...1!"

"YAY!"

"I have some good news. As the winners of this leg of the race, you win a trip to beautiful Sapphire Island, which you can enjoy after the race. Also, you receive this!" She handed them both a green box decorated with a Triforce symbol.

"What is it?" Zelda asked.

"Open it to find out!" Tearing open the box, they pulled out various items, like a Makiva Tower miniature, a Hyrule King figurine, maps, clothes, and stuff. Link also drew a silver sword from his box, while Zelda unearthed a spell book from hers. "Hey, this is cool...but what is it?"

"It's a souvenir set! When you clear a leg in the Amazing Race, you receive a souvenir set from that land, with neato items and cool new weapons!" Nintendo Nut1's eyes were glowing when she said this.

"Awesome!" At this point, Fox and Falco ran up to them, out of breath and gasping.

"Welcome to Makiva, Termina!" the Hyrule King bellowed.

"Thanks." Fox and Falco shook hands with him.

"Fox and Falco, you are team number 2!" Nintendo Nut1 handed them a green box, and they were satisfied with the many oddities inside it. Fox and Falco freaked when they noticed a Hylian blaster among the goodies, and started brandishing them in joy. Next was Pikachu and Pichu, Marth and Sheeda, Ness and Mewtwo, Roy and Lilina, Mario and Luigi, Yoshi and DK, Bowser and Ganondorf, Young Link and Dr. Mario, Peach and Samus, and Popo and Nana, in that order.

The final two teams, Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch, and Kirby and Jigglypuff, who were rushing to the Pit Stop.

"We're gonna get there first!" Captain Falcon hollered.

"No way, we're gonna get there first!" Kirby squealed.

Kirby and Jigglypuff, who were fleeter of foot, reached the Pit Stop first.

"Kirby and Jigglypuff, you are team number 13. Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch, you are the last team to arrive. I'm glad to say that you're eliminated." Nintendo Nut1 handed them both a souvenir set and sent Capt. Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch home, cheering all the while.

"Man, I guess we were overconfident, and I hate being sent home, but I guess this wasn;t our day." Captain Falcon remarked.

* * *

In the next chapter, what will happen to the teams as they head to Eagleland, what happens there? Anyway, be a co-host! Leave a review with your penname, age, description and favorite Smasher to _The Amazing Race_! If you are chosen, you'll receive the Souvenir Set handed out to the Smashers! The prizes include these:

The Makiva Tower miniature  
A Hyrule King figurine  
Maps of Hyrule and Termina  
A Guidebook to Hyrule and Termina  
Hylian Clothes  
A new weapon of your choice  
The Legend of Zelda Official Master Sword

R&R to win and/or co-host! See ya next time!

Gamer21


	3. From Termina to Eagleland

Holy crap...didn't expect so many people to review...THANX!

**Responses:**

**_Anters_**: I'm really glad you enjoy it! This is for you!

**_Animefangirl11_**: Thanks. Update is now. And hoogiman beat us to the punch. But I still went ahead with the story. You should go ahead and post yours too.

**_Ri2_**: I'm sorry you feel that way. Wait, what?

**_superdave_**: We will not eliminate Link and Zelda...not yet, at least...and sorry, CronoMaster beat you to the punch.

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: I'm glad to have presented you perfectly! By the way, point that Uzi somewhere else...ooh! Candy! Must eat!

**_Zephyr Analea, Mewtwo's Amore_**: Got a co-host. But you can co-host the next chapter if you send in another review soon enough! 11 of the next 13 chapters will present one lucky reviewer a chance to co-host! See the end of the chapter for more details.

**_Android11_**: I think the top 3 has their name in it...

* * *

**Backstage...**

"HIHI!" Nintendo Nut1 waved to the camera. "It's time for the next leg! Anyway, the teams-"

"Must you be hyper? That's really no way for a host to act..."

Nintendo Nut1 spun around to behold a stout and tall young man of 16 or 17, his brown eyes narrowed and no comfort emanating from them. A scar graced the skin above his right eye, and the black cloak that swirled around his clothes were tattered from the many battles he had faced. The tan-skinned boy brushed some of his curly black locks from his face and muttered, "Really, you're just a seven-year-old hyperactive kid. Why deny it?"

"How...HOW DARE YOU!" Nintendo Nut1 had an Uzi pointed to his face, which was devoid of fear or worry. "Who do you think you are!"

"I am known as CronoMaster on but call me Crono. And put that down, you silly young chub, Uzis are things you shouldn't be waving around like that." Grabbing her Uzi and tossing it to the ground, CronoMaster made his way to Nintendo Nut1's face, before flicking at her nose. "And don't mess up; I'm the co-host and there's nothing you can do about it."

"YOU?"

"Yes, me. Now don't get in my way."

"WHY I OUGHTA-" Nintendo Nut1 was swinging her fists at him, but CronoMaster dodged every one before tossing her to the ground. Muttering, he made his way to the starting point, Nintendo Nut1 getting up and yelling obscenities at him. Sighing, she followed him to the starting point.

* * *

"This is the land of Termina, from the Legend of Zelda games. Within the land is the Makiva Tower, known as the 'Watchman of Termina' because it is visible from all of Termina. Atop this tower was the first Pit Stop in a race around the world." Nintendo Nut1 replied, munching on chocolate. 

"The teams that came here now have a chance to eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams." CronoMaster remarked through chewing a stick of jerky. "Will Link and Zelda be able to retain their newfound lead? And can Kirby and Jigglypuff be able to pull themselves out of last place? Link and Zelda, who arrived at 11:30 am, will depart at 11:30 pm." CronoMaster turned to Nintendo Nut1 and muttered, "You actually did well, considering you're hyper and all..."

"Was that a compliment I heard?"

"You have to be less hyper. That's all I'm saying." CronoMaster turned to Link and Zelda, who was reading the clue.

_Link and Zelda  
__1st to depart, 11:30 pm  
_"'Make your way to Romani's Ranch...'" Link read.

"Teams must go to Romani's Ranch and get the next clue from the gate." Nintendo Nut1 said.

"You still sound hyper..."

"Shut up, or you and I are gonna scrap!" Nintendo Nut1 shook a fist at CronoMaster, who just shrugged it off.

"'You have 215 dollars for this leg of the race.' Let's go, Link." Zelda and Link ran down the tower and to Romani's Ranch.

_Fox and Falco  
__2nd to depart, 11:45 pm  
_"Romani's Ranch, huh?" Falco scanned the clue over to make sure he had read it right.

"Yep...that's it." Fox and Falco ran down the stairs and in the direction of Romani's Ranch.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__3rd to depart, 11:57 pm  
_"Let's go, everyone already knows what we are doing..." Pichu ran off, Pikachu a little ways behind.

"Hold up, I need to grab my bag..."

_Marth and Sheeda  
__4th to depart, 12:19 am  
_"This is fun, traveling around the world and having fun while we're at it." Marth read the clue.

"Yes, I hope our luck continues..." Sheeda ran off after Marth, scooping up her bag on the way.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__5th to depart, 12:23 am  
_"Hmm...we go to Romani's Ranch." Mewtwo remarked, not even reading the clue.

"I love being psychic..." Ness grabbed their things and ran off.

_Roy and Lilina  
__6th to depart, 12:35 am  
_"Ready, Roy?" Lilina asked, holding onto him.

"I am." Roy skimmed over the clue, then remarked, "Romani's Ranch...shall we?"

"Let's!" Roy and Lilina were about to go, but CronoMaster had stopped them.

"Good luck." CronoMaster muttered to them, shaking their hands to verify it.

"Thanks."

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 1st place  
_"Here's the clue." Link reached into the clue box, grabbed a clue, and tore it open. "'Make your way to the city of Fourside...'"

Nintendo Nut1 reappeared and said, "Teams must now make their way to the city of Fourside in Eagleland. Once there, teams must locate the Vertical Clock sculpture in Rosewood Park to find their next clue. Teams can only use one of three flights, each with different departure times: Mushroom flight 412, Corneria flight 271, or Fourside 359."

"Fourside, huh? Come on, Zel, we have to reach the airport." Link and Zelda ran off to the airport, dodging bushes and torches along the way.

_Mario and Luigi  
__7th to depart, 1:03 am  
_"Okay-a, let's-a go!" Mario and Luigi ran off to the ranch.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 2nd place  
_"Fourside..." Falco had placed his finger thoughtfully on the clue, thinking out their plan of attack.

"Let's just go already!" Fox dragged Falco off and made their way to the airport.

_Yoshi and DK  
__8th to depart, 1:45 am  
_We already know what they're gonna do.

_Bowser and Ganondorf  
__9th to depart, 2:13 am  
_'Nuff said.

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__10th to depart, 2:35 am  
_Yeah.

_Peach and Samus  
__11th to depart, 3:54 am  
_Hmm...they're going to Romani's Ranch. What else is new...oh my goodness...Peach is PMSing! RUN!

_Popo and Nana  
__12th to depart, 3:59 am  
_They're going...at least they're not PMSing...

_Kirby and Jigglypuff  
__Last to depart, 4:32 am  
_We know what they're doing. They're going to the ranch.

**Clock Town, Termina International Airport**

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 4th place  
_"I'm glad to be here with you, Roy, traveling the world, seeing new places..." Lilina was staring out the window, watching the lights go by.

Roy ruffled her hair and pulled her close in an embrace. "I'm glad, too...hey, there's the airport." Roy and Lilina got inside and noticed the other teams, who were either asleep or doing only God-knows-what. "Hey, what's going on?"

Link replied, "The ticket counters aren't open yet, and it'll be, like, 2 more hours before they sell the tickets." They stared at the clock, which read 4:45 am.

"I hope the other teams don't get here early..." Lilina remarked.

2 hours later.

"How'd they get here..." Lilina was indeed right; all the other teams had made it within the two-hour time frame. She sighed and remarked to the readers, "We're all tied now. Isn't that our luck?"

CronoMaster remarked, "Now all the teams are on the same flight to Fourside. Why the hell did this happen...anyway, once teams arrive, they-"

"They must find Rosewood Park and the Vertical Clock Sculpture to find their next clue, WHEE! Everyone's tied!" Nintendo Nut1 was spinning around, basically the result of devouring 10 chocolate bars at high-speed. This earned her a sweatdrop from CronoMaster and all the readers on the computer. "YAY! YAY! YAY!"

"How the hell she got the hosting job is beyond me..." CronoMaster muttered, frowning and shaking his head in disbelief.

**Fourside, Eagleland International  
****Fourside 359 from Termina**

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 1st place  
_"I'm home..." Ness gasped, a few tears forming in his eyes. "I never thought I'd make my return here..."

"I'm glad you are home, but the race..." Mewtwo reminded Ness.

"Oh yeah. TAXI!" Ness flagged down a taxi, and got in quickly. That was good, for at that minute Bowser and Ganondorf tried to charge in and ended up eating steel and glass. Sliding off the car door with a screech not unlike fingernails scratching a chalkboard, they drove off hurriedly.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 2nd place  
_"Aha! Taxi!" Pikachu got a taxi for them, and rushed off with everyone else snatching taxis and chasing them.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 1st place  
_"Sigh...Rosewood Park's colors have not changed one bit...yet I, leaving at 10, have come back older, my colors distilled, and I empty as I was when I first set out..." Ness was strolling through the park, looking back on all the memories. "There's the bench where Paula and I shared our first kiss...and the dead tree Poo and I honed our fighting skills on...and there's the crater Jeff made with his artificial meteor-maker...he always did have his projects blow up on him. I wonder where they are now." Ness sighed wistfully, and turned to Mewtwo. "Sorry about that. I probably sound like a jaded old man..."

"It's okay," Mewtwo remarked, a hint of empathy in his voice. "We should all have good memories to cling to...in the end, your memories are the one thing that keeps you alive."

"Thanks. Hey, there's the clue box!" Ness and Mewtwo ran over to it, and they read the clue. "'Travel by taxi to Nick and Willy's East...'"

Nintendo Nut1 remarked, "Now teams must use a taxi to go to Nick and Willy's East Pizzeria, in the east part of town. DUH! Anyway, once they get inside, they will be served a Big Kahuna pizza, topped with Canadian bacon, mandarin oranges and pineapple. Each team member has to eat four slices of the pizza. Once they finish the pizza, the waiter will give them their next clue." Nintendo Nut1 blinked, and then replied, "I want pizza..."

"You just ate chocolate, and you still want that? Pathetic." CronoMaster scoffed at the idea, and remarked, "This is for April Fools', by the way." He shoved 10 leeches down the back of Nintendo Nut1's shirt, and laughed maniacally as she jumped about and tried to get the leeches out, trails of blood leaking out from under her jacket. "That's for interrupting me earlier."

"No fair!" Nintendo Nut1 struggled as she removed the leeches from her back. "Icky..."

"I haven't been there in a while..." Ness and Mewtwo ran off to their taxi, ordering him to go to the pizzeria.

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__Currently in 5th place  
_"Well, my older self and Dr. Mario's counterpart are ahead of us," Young Link started.

"But-a we paid the driver to-a speed past-a them, and-a he's done well so-a far..." Dr. Mario was clutching his Coke, cars and trucks beeping angrily. "At-a least we'll-a get there first- WHOA!" Dr. Mario and Young Link bounced up and smashed into the taxi roof, because the inept driver sped through the intersection, causing a car crash and running over a pedestrian.

"Never let a Pokémon drive..." Young Link replied as their driver, a Makuhita, burst through the street and careened towards Rosewood.

_Mario and Luigi  
__Currently in 2nd place  
_"Holy-a crap...did you-a see that?" Luigi was looking out the back and squeaked, "Dr.-a Mario and-a Young Link caused an-a accident and ran-a over a dude-a!"

"Are-a you serious?" Mario looked and ducked as a suitcase crashed into the window and bounced off it. The taxi carrying Dr. Mario and Young Link sliced through the street, flipping over cars and running over lightposts, newsstands and the occasional pedestrian. "I-a think their driver's a Pokémon-a."

"Never-a let a Pokémon drive-a..."

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 6th place  
_"Whoa! Look out!" The driver barely missed another crashed car as Roy and Lilina bounced around in the back, colliding into the walls and the windows.

"King Lalidama forever!" The driver screeched as he dodged another car. This caused Lilina to collapse onto the seat and Roy to land on top of her. After regaining their bearings, they noticed where they were and the awkward position they were in.

"Umm...hi..." Lilina and Roy were blushing furiously.

"We are here!" Their driver's screeching voice snapped them back to reality and they quickly scrambled out of their position.

"S-s-sorry about that."

"I-it's okay..."

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 1st place  
_"Here we are. I hope they recognize me..." Ness and Mewtwo made their way into the pizzeria, where they were greeted by several voices. "Hey, it's Ness!" "Yo, whazzup?" "My word, it's been too long." "How's the tournament treating you?"

"Hey, guys. I'm on the Amazing Race." Ness remarked. "And this is Mewtwo." He nodded cordially, and Ness continued, "He's one of my friends in the tournament."

"Well, that's good. So you ready for the pizza?" William, the chef, brought out a 14" pizza for them. "You need to eat through this to receive the clue."

"Let's get started..." Mewtwo sat at the table and grabbed a slice.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 2nd place  
_"I've never heard of this Nick and Willy's pizzeria." Pikachu remarked as their driver took them through the streets of Fourside. "Is it good?"

"According to Ness, it is." Pichu noticed the taxi stop in front of the neon building. "This must be it." They went inside and saw Ness and Mewtwo eating the pizza. "Hey, guys!"

"They're here..." Mewtwo remarked.

"So, what do we do?" Pichu asked.

"You have to eat 4 slices of this." Nick, the manager, came out and held out a Big Kahuna in front of the Pokémon, who immediately began to drool. "Ready?"

"Let's go! I'm hungry!" Sitting himself at the table, Pichu began to chow down on a slice, the warm smells of dough, tomatoes, cheese, oranges, pineapple and Canadian bacon permeating the room.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 3rd place  
_"We have to eat this?" Zelda stared at the pizza, which was rather big, to say the least.

"Well, it's not going to eat itself..." Link remarked, shoving a slice into his mouth. "This is pretty good..."

_Mario and Luigi  
__Currently in 4th place  
_"Mmm...pizza." Luigi remarked as he chewed on a piece of pineapple.

"This is-a good." Mario said happily as he lunching his slice in thought.

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__Currently in 5th place  
_"This-a reminds me of a time-a Mario got a bite-a of pizza stuck in his-a throat..." Dr. Mario told Young Link.

"Don't bother me, I'm eating." Young Link muttered in-between bites.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 6th place  
_"Don't talk to us. We're busy eating." Falco remarked, pointing the camera to Yoshi and DK, who had finished 5 slices total already. "Holy crap, they're fast..."

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 8th place  
_"They know how to make good pizza." Lilina replied, chewing on some oranges on the pizza.

"Never had anything like this back in Pherae..." Roy agreed.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Currently in 9th place  
_"So, do we eat until the pizza is gone?" Marth asked between bites.

"Looks like it..." Sheeda answered.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 1st place  
_"Mmm-mmm! Just as good as ever!" Ness replied, wiping his mouth. He took the clue from the waiter and read it. "'Detour: Hustle or Tango...'"

CronoMaster said, "Finally. You can eat faster than that..."

"Shut up! You just insult for fun!" Nintendo Nut1 accused, CronoMaster smirking all the while.

"Anyway, a Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons." CronoMaster said. "The choices are Hustle or Tango. Care to say something, Nintendo Nut1? Don't mess up now..."

"Shut your trap for once!" Nintendo Nut1 snapped. "In Hustle, teams must go 1.5 miles outside the city to the Liar X. Aggerate Football Field and kick a field goal from 300 yards away. This takes a lot of strength, but the teams with the needed strength can finish quickly."

"Not bad...in Tango, teams travel a shorter distance of 0.8 miles to the Topolla Theatre to see the Tango Performance. Once there, teams will receive a program with a picture of a tango dancer on it." CronoMaster remarked through a stick of jerky. "Teams must go onstage and locate the person pictured in the program to receive their next clue. This task is not physically demanding, but searching more than 30 people for one person in dim lighting can take a while." CronoMaster added, "Not bad, Nintendo Nut1. I'd almost think you were a good host."

"Listen, you, shut up!" Nintendo Nut1 yelled, pointing an elbow blade eloquently at CronoMaster, who just scoffed at her.

"So, which one?" Ness asked.

"Let's do Tango." Mewtwo and Ness ran outside and got a taxi.

_Peach and Samus  
__Currently in 2nd place  
_"Clue, please!" Peach grabbed the clue and read it over with Samus.

"Let's do Hustle." Samus said, catching a taxi.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 3rd place  
_"Hustle or Tango...let's Tango." Zelda said, running to the taxi.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 4th place  
_"Hmm...let's Hustle." Falco said, getting into their taxi.

_Popo and Nana  
__Currently in 5th place  
_"Tango, anyone?" Popo asked his sister.

"Let's!"

_Kirby and Jigglypuff  
__Currently in 6th place  
_"Hustle or Tango...do you want to dance?" Kirby asked Jigglypuff, who nodded eagerly. "All right, it's off to the Topolla Theatre, then."

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 1st place  
_"Here it is...the Topolla Theatre." Going inside the theatre, an usher handed them a program and saw a picture of a young man on the cover. "This must be the person to look for." Going inside, they used their psychic powers to locate the man. When he handed them their next clue, Mewtwo tore it open and read it. "'Go to the Monotoli building...'"

"Teams now must go to the Monotoli building, which is two blocks away from the Topolla Theatre. Once teams reach the building, they will receive their next clue." Nintendo Nut1 said, chewing on a piece of chocolate.

"To the Monotoli building!" Ness and Mewtwo ran outside to the next clue sitting outside the Monotoli. Ripping open the clue, Ness read, "Road Block. 'The Monotoli building is 30 stories tall and someone has to clean it!'"

CronoMaster remarked, "A Road Block is a task only one person can perform, and no one person can do more than 6 in the whole race. In this Road Block, teams must climb onto a window-cleaner's platform and be hoisted 25 stories up to a dirty window. That person must clean the window until they find a secret message inscribed on the window. When they know the message, they must rappel down the building and say the message to the cleaner foreman to receive their next clue...this sounds like a task on the real Amazing Race..."

Stow it! My train of thought is still boarding at the station!

"You do it." Mewtwo told Ness. "I'm unfamiliar with the locals, anyway."

"Sure."

_Peach and Samus  
__Currently in 4th place  
_"That was horrible. I can't believe that creampuff beat me..." Peach sobbed, embarrassed that Kirby, of all Smashers, beat her in the field goal.

"Maybe if you let me kick the damn thing, we wouldn't be in this predicament!" Samus screeched before reading the clue. "Come on, we have to find the Monotoli building."

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 7th place  
_"How the hell did Falco convince me to do this..." Fox muttered as he cleaned the window. He dropped a bucket of water, and he screamed when it exploded all over the sidewalk. On the other windows were Ness, Mario, Link, Roy, Sheeda and Samus, who were making good progress. "Damn...augh! I hate this!" Fox screeched. He went so crazy he ended up cleaning the whole window while he was waving his arms frantically and yelling obscenities all the while. "Hey, it's clean...there's something written here. 'Little Paddocks.' That's good." Fox rappelled down to the ground and said the message to the foreman, who handed them their next clue. "Thanks. 'The message was Little Paddocks. Now you must go there...'"

"The teams must now go 2.3 miles to Little Paddocks, a small estate that houses the Eagleland tennis team." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "This house was once the head of government here in Eagleland, but was converted into an estate after it relocated to Threed. The former palace where the government of Eagleland resided is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in will be eliminated."

"Come on, let's go." Falco replied, dragging Fox to a taxi and driving off.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 2nd place_

"How the hell did Fox finish before us?" Ness vexed, pulling his shirt frantically.

"Calm down. We can warp there." They did so, and saw Nintendo Nut1 and CronoMaster standing in front of Little Paddocks with a blonde-haired girl that Ness knew all too well. "Paula?"

"Hi, Ness! Been a while, huh?" Paula replied, hugging him.

"You know it." Ness and Mewtwo stood on the Pit Stop square.

"Ness and Mewtwo, you are team number 1!" Nintendo Nut1 said.

"Well, well, consider me impressed." CronoMaster replied. He handed them a box with the Earthbound logo on the top. "Here." CronoMaster turned around and walked off.

"Hey, where are you going!" Nintendo Nut1 screeched.

"My co-host job lasts for only one chapter. But it was fun." CronoMaster remarked. Covering himself with his cloak and grabbing Souvenir Set 1 (see chapter 1 for details), he yelled, "May your own River of Words keep flowing!" He then disappeared in a pillar of fire, charred grass being the only indication that he even stood there in the first place.

"...good riddance. He was hogging my spotlight." Nintendo Nut1 scoffed and replied, "Open the box!" Ness and Mewtwo beheld many things, including a Little Paddocks miniature, a Paula figurine, several maps and postcards, and various other items. Next came Fox and Falco, Mario and Luigi, Roy and Lilina, Link and Zelda, Marth and Sheeda, Peach and Samus, Kirby and Jigglypuff, Young Link and Dr. Mario, Bowser and Ganondorf, Pikachu and Pichu, and Yoshi and DK, in that order. Popo and Nana came in last, sadly for all the Ice Climbers fans out there.

"Popo and Nana, you are the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to say that you're eliminated." Nintendo Nut1 handed them both a souvenir set and sent Popo and Nana home, her gaze piercing their sobbing figures.

"I just wanted to see the world with my sis, and I feel the Amazing Race brought us together, so we have no regrets." Popo said.

"I'm glad to have been with my brother on the Amazing Race." Nana sobbed.

* * *

In the next chapter, what will happen to the teams as they head to the Hoenn Region, and what happens there? Anyway, you can still be a co-host, since there will be one new co-host in 10 of the next 13 legs! Leave a review with your penname, age, description and favorite Smasher to _The Amazing Race_! If you are chosen, you'll receive the Souvenir Set handed out to the Smashers! The prizes include these: 

The Little Paddocks miniature  
A Paula figurine  
Maps of Eagleland  
A Guidebook to Eagleland  
The Guide to Eagleland for Dummies book  
A new weapon of your choice  
The Earthbound Official Home-Run Bat

R&R to win and/or co-host! See ya next time!

Gamer21


	4. From Eagleland to the Hoenn Region

Here's a rather important detail I left out (maybe not): the co-host will star in one chapter. Yes, one, okay? I want to try to have as many authors participate in the story as possible. Talk about interactive...anyway, in your reviews, if you are applying for a co-host job, include your penname, age, favorite Smasher, and description as in hair color, eye color, your attire, race, personality, any quirks (like CronoMaster being judgmental, Nintendo Nut1's uber-craziness, etc.) because I am sweating bullets as to what you look like and stuff. I want to capture as much of your essence as possible, but I can't do that unless you describe yourself in full detail! Also include your gender in your application, please; I don't want to be sued for changing one's gender... (For an example, see Zephyr Analea's review.) Sheesh, my job gets harder and harder each day.

Side note: the reviewers for this chapter receive 2 slices of the Big Kahuna pizza from Nick and Willy's East from last chapter! This pizza, topped with Canadian bacon, pineapples, and mandarin oranges, is tasty! Here you go...(serves pizza to all the reviewers)

**Responses:**

**_CronoMaster_**: Good idea on the co-hosts. That I can do. I have also attached a GPS system on the entire Smashers' luggage, so we won't lose them.

**_hoogiman_**: Thanks. I like your story too. Keep up the good work! Don't worry, this chapter is longer than the previous!

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: WHOA! Point those blades somewhere else! As a side note, one of the legs will take place in Corneria, so keep an eye out!

**_Android11_**: I'm glad. I write to please!

Disclaimer: Yes, it's long overdue. I do not own SSBM or Amazing Race. BOO!

P.S. Thanks to Digi-dolphin for the description on May! She's a good writer; I suggest you read her works! Trust me, you'll not be denied.

* * *

**Backstage...**

Nintendo Nut1 gulped down a pint of chocolate milk, wiping sweat from her brow. "This is cra-zee...but this is so cool..."

"HIHI!"

Nintendo Nut1 turned to see a 16-year-old girl who was wearing a Yoshi cap on her head. Brown hair to her back and green eyes that shone like emeralds, the girl was dressed in a white halter top, khaki shorts, and silver knee-high boots, and she was also wearing a cape that was white with several green spots on it, reminiscent of the surface of Yoshi's egg. She nodded a cordial greeting to Nintendo Nut1 and said, "Well, I'll be your co-host for this chappie! I'm known as Anters on the website."

"Hi..." Nintendo Nut1 looked on with polite incredulity, but Anters told her:

"Come, we're going to miss the next leg of the race." Dragging Nintendo Nut1 onto the set, Anters prepared herself for the race...

* * *

"This is Eagleland," Anters replied, chewing on a caramel. "Made famous by the game Earthbound, the land is prosperous, although the Happy-Happyist cult tends to blow up stuff about half the time. Teams landed here and later made their way to Little Paddocks, once the Parliament palace in Eagleland."

"This building, where the government resided, was the second Pit Stop in a race around the world." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "Teams were given a mandatory rest period, where they can eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams. The 12 teams left have no idea what's in store for them, and they must reach their next Pit Stop by performing a series of tasks to receive clues to where to go. Can Yoshi and DK get out of last place, and-"

"GO YOSHI! IF YOU CAN'T DO IT, NO ONE CAN! GO YOSHI! GOOOOOOO YOSHI!" Anters shouted. Nintendo Nut1 sweatdropped and Anters replied sheepishly, "Yoshi's my favorite character. What do you expect?"

"...sigh. And can Ness and Mewtwo retain their lead?" Nintendo Nut1 finished. "I can see that; why else would your cape look like Yoshi's egg? Ness and Mewtwo, who were the first to arrive at 5:45 pm, will depart at 5:45 am."

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__1st to depart, 5:45 am  
__Location: Outside Little Paddocks  
_"Let's see... 'Travel to the town of Onett via a marked car...'"

"Teams must take a marked car to the town of Onett and buy a Double Burger for themselves to receive their next clue." Anters replied. "Double Burger...two people on the team...sounds good."

"You think too much..." Nintendo Nut1 replied.

"'You have 45 dollars for this leg of the race.' Let's go." Ness replied, going to the marked cars. "Now, which one has the red racing stripe...?"

_Fox and Falco  
__2nd to depart, 6:02 am  
__Location: Outside Little Paddocks  
_"Hmm...the drug store in Onett...sounds good." Falco ran off to the marked cars, dropped his luggage in the trunk, and Fox followed behind.

_Mario and Luigi  
__3rd to depart, 6:15 am  
__Location: Outside Little Paddocks  
_"Well-a well. Onett, huh? Let's-a go!" Mario grabbed Luigi, got into the car, and drove off.

_Roy and Lilina  
__4th to depart, 6:27 am  
__Location: Outside Little Paddocks  
_"Onett... Are you ready?" Roy asked Lilina. After receiving a nod from her, they jumped into a car and drove onto the highway to Onett.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Eagleland Route 451 to Onett  
_"Not a lot of cars on the way to Onett, huh?" Mewtwo mused after seeing a car drive past them on the highway.

"Yeah. It's okay, though, we from Onett value a quiet lifestyle." Ness answered.

"I see..."

_Link and Zelda  
__5th to depart, 6:35 am  
__Location: Outside Little Paddocks  
_"Off to Onett, then." Zelda and Link ran to a car (nice one, too. A Ford Mustang GT with a gold racing stripe.) and drove onto the highway, leaving the other teams in their wake.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Eagleland Route 451 to Onett  
_"Hey, there's Mario and Luigi." Roy pointed out. Lilina pushed down on the gas, sending them blowing by Mario and Luigi.

"Holy-a crap...they-a passed us." Mario remarked.

"That-a wasn't-a fair!" An infuriated Luigi stuck his head out the window and screamed at Lilina. "_Troia!_"

"Oh-a my god-a...Luigi!" Mario screeched, shaking his head in disbelief, shock, and anger.

"Shut up, you!" Lilina screamed at Luigi. She started crying. "Oh, Roy, that was horrible! They called me a slut in Italian!"

"It's okay, I won't let them get away with this." Roy took this time to stick his head outside and yell, "_Fill'e bagassa!_" He then grabbed a paintball gun from the car seat and shot at their windshield, splattering paint all over their car and causing them to crash.

"Thanks...by the way, what were you saying?" Lilina asked.

"I called them sons of bitches in Italian." Roy remarked, causing Lilina to laugh.

_Mario and Luigi  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Eagleland Route 451 to Onett  
_"That-a was uncalled-a for!" Mario yelled, slapping his brother. "Because-a of you-a, we-a will-a be eliminated! Plus-a, you-a hurt Lilina's feelings-a!"

"I'm-a sorry..." Luigi replied.

"You-a better be..."

_Marth and Sheeda  
__6th to depart, 6:47 am  
__Location: Outside Little Paddocks  
_"Onett...let's go." Marth and Sheeda got into a car and drove off.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Drug Store in Onett  
_"That was fun." Ness started reading the clue. "'Drive to the airport and fly to Petalburg City...'"

"Teams must now drive back to Fourside and make their way to Eagleland International and fly more than 2,500 miles to Petalburg City in the Hoenn Region." Nintendo Nut1 replied. "Once there, teams must locate the Grand Forum Plaza in the center of town to receive their next clue. HA-HA! Mario and Luigi crashed!" she added, twirling around and eating a chocolate bar.

"Off to the airport, then." Mewtwo and Ness got into the car and drove towards Fourside.

_Peach and Samus  
__7th to depart, 6:51 am  
__Location: Eagleland Route 451 to Onett  
_"That was fun." Samus replied.

"It was, actually-OH MY GOD!" Peach noticed Mario and Luigi standing next to their crashed car, and she called, "Are you okay?"

"No-a thanks to-a Luigi's-a big mouth!" Mario said.

"Oh...will you be okay?" Samus asked.

"Don't-a worry about-a us. Look!" Luigi pointed, and Peach and Samus saw Kirby and Jigglypuff driving away. Peach muttered a few obscenities, and drove off.

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__9th to depart, 7:05 am  
__Location: Eagleland Route 451 to Onett  
_"Are we there yet?" Young Link asked.

"No."

'Nuff said.

_Bowser and Ganondorf  
__10th to depart, 7:07 am  
__Location: Eagleland Route 451 to Onett  
_"I'm bored." Bowser replied.

"Well, too bad, I'm not here to entertain you." Ganondorf quipped.

"HEY! Mario and Luigi crashed! Pull over!" Bowser stuck his head out and taunted them before having Ganondorf drive off. "That was fun."

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__11th to depart, 7:12 am  
__Location: Eagleland Route 451 to Onett  
_"I'm going to sleep." Pichu replied.

"Ok."

'Nuff said.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Eagleland International Airport, Fourside  
_"Here we are." Ness replied, and then went to the ticket counter. "Hi, can I get tickets to Petalburg City in the Hoenn Region?"

"Yes." The ticket person replied. "It leaves at 11:30 am today and flies to Warren Riverhead. There you can reach the connecting flight to Petalburg City."

"Thanks!" Ness got the tickets and muttered, "I hope the other teams get stuck..."

_Yoshi and DK  
__Last to depart, 7:35 am  
__Location: Eagleland Route 451 to Onett  
_"Man, we're last." Yoshi remarked.

"YOU CAN DO IT, YOSHI!" Anters cheered from off-camera.

"Um...thanks?" Yoshi replied.

And by some weird supernatural event, a UFO picks them up and takes them to Onett!

"Yay!" Yoshi opened the clue and said, "To Fourside, baby, let's do it!" They got back in the car and drove off.

_Mario and Luigi  
__Currently in Last place  
__Location: Eagleland Route 451 to Onett  
_"Here's-a the car." Mario replied, the spare car being towed over. "Let's-a move. And-a no funny stuff, okay-a?" Mario and Luigi drove off, leaving the wreck in their wake.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Eagleland International Airport, Fourside  
_"Yes!" Yoshi cheered, grabbing the tickets for the flight. "We went from last to second, baby!"

"Don't get your hopes up." Mewtwo said. "It leaves at 11:30. That gives teams 2½ hours to get here."

"Well, we can take them." DK replied.

2½ hours later

"Oh, why?" Yoshi asked. Everyone had made it onto the flight, and he remarked, "Why did this have to happen?" He overheard a conversation between Lilina and Luigi. "What's this?"

"...and all I have-a to say is I'm-a sorry for-a hurting your-a feelings."

"It's okay. You were just mad. That's understandable." Lilina told Luigi. "You just have to think about what you say first."

"Like the time you called Merlinus a smelly old coot?" Roy chimed in.

"Grr...STOW IT!" Lilina screamed, earning her several stares from the other teams and several laughs from Roy, Mario and Luigi.

"All the teams are on the same flight to Petalburg City from Fourside," Anters replied. "Once the teams land, they must locate the Grand Forum Plaza, reminiscent of Old Petalburg, to receive their next clue." She then added, "Why didn't the teams search for a flight that leaves earlier? That's what I would have done so I could be in first... or Yoshi and DK, GO YOSHI!"

**Petalburg City, Hoenn International Airport  
****Pokèmon 253 from Eagleland**

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Plusle Parkway, Petalburg City  
_"Go, go, go!" Pikachu told their taxi driver as they hopped in. "Take us to the Grand Forum Plaza!"

"And do it fast!" Pichu added. Stepping on the gas, their driver, a Bagon, hit the throttle and sped off, leaving the airport.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Plusle Parkway, Petalburg City  
_"To the Grand Forum Plaza, please." Yoshi directed the driver. He sped off, leaving Yoshi and DK bouncing around the back of their taxi.

_Mario and Luigi  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Plusle Parkway, Petalburg City  
_"Grand Forum Plaza?" Luigi asked. When the driver nodded, he told Mario, "Yo-a, he-a knows where-a to go."

"Good, good." Mario and Luigi packed themselves in and high-fived before driving off.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Plusle Parkway, Petalburg City  
_"Lilina, let's go." Roy rushed into the taxi, Lilina close behind, as it drove off to the Grand Forum Plaza.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: Furret Freeway _(Route 101)_, Petalburg City  
_"Well, that was fun." Link mused as Zelda laid her head on his shoulder. He then replied, "Zelda, I'm glad to be running this race with you."

"Thanks, Link." She kissed him on the cheek, causing him to blush a bright red.

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__Currently in 6th place  
__Location: Furret Freeway _(Route 101)_, Petalburg City  
_"EEWWWW! My older self and Zelda are making out, eewwwwwwwwww!" Young Link screamed. "My eyes! My virgin eyes! They're burning up! Why must this happen...?"

"Allergies-a, perhaps?" Dr. Mario mused. Young Link stared at him, and then he explained, "Burning eyes are-a symptoms of-a allergies."

"Shut up..."

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Grand Forum Plaza, Petalburg City  
_"Here's the clue." Pikachu replied, but he stared in awe first. "Holy crap...this architecture is beautiful." The marble pillars and arches blending peacefully with the shops and homes of today were beautiful, indeed. "It's a Detour. 'Coordinate or Excavate...'"

"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams must choose between Coordinate or Excavate." Anters replied. "In Coordinate, teams must go 1.5 miles to the contest hall, on the intersection of Sullivan and Beautifly. Once there, teams must choose a Pokèmon and play a game similar to 'Simon Says'. Once teams have successfully mirrored the Pokèmon's moves, they will receive their next clue. This task is not easy, but if the teams succeed in remembering the Pokèmon's moves, teams can breeze through quickly."

"In Excavate, teams must drive a longer distance of 3.5 miles to the dig site outside Petalburg, a little after the end of Furret Freeway." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "Teams must then locate one of the artifacts buried in the ground. Once teams locate an artifact, the historian will give them their next clue. This task is not difficult, but searching through tons of dirt and rubble to locate an item will take a long time."

"Let's Excavate." Pichu replied, getting back into their taxi.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Grand Forum Plaza, Petalburg City  
_"'Coordinate or Excavate...'" Falco mused.

"Which one's closer to our location?" Fox asked.

"The Pokèmon Contest Hall. Why?"

"Let's go, then." Fox replied, making his way to the contest hall.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Grand Forum Plaza, Petalburg City  
_"Coordinate or Excavate...I say Excavate." Yoshi replied, going back to the taxi.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Dig Site, outside Petalburg City  
_"So, this is where we try to find the artifact..." Pichu replied, looking down into the huge square-shaped hole in the ground.

"Time to dig, then." Pikachu replied, hopping into the hole.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: The Contest Hall, Petalburg City_

"This'll be cake." Falco replied as a Makuhita stepped out. It moved, and Falco ended up slipping and crashing into the wall. Fox tried it, and all he did was trip and fall face-first on the ground.

"This'll be harder than I thought..." Fox muttered through a mouthful of dirt.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: The Dig Site, outside Petalburg City  
_"So, you decided to Excavate, too?" Yoshi asked Pikachu, who was busy tossing dirt, soil and pebbles onto a mound, one that was getting rather big.

"Yep." Pikachu replied. The dirt mound fell over and covered him and filled up the hole he was digging. "Damn it..." The dirt also revealed a gold Pokè Ball hidden under the mound. Yoshi grabbed it and showed it to the historian, who gave them their next clue as Pikachu let forth a string of obscenities too horrific to type into the story. "'The golden Pokè Ball is symbolic of the golden age of Petalburg City, when the Umbreon Tower was built. Go there...'"

"Teams must make their way to the Umbreon Tower, a building rumored to be haunted with the spirits of Pokèmon that burned to death when the tower's furnace exploded." Anters said. "Within the foyer of the burned-out building is the next clue. Where is Luigi and his Poltergust 2000 when you need him?" she muttered. This caused some laughter among the readers.

"Let's go." DK replied, trying to hunt down a taxi.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Grand Forum Plaza, Petalburg City  
_"Well, well. Coordinate or Excavate...what do you think?" Lilina asked Roy, who was whistling.

"Coordinate sounds promising..." Roy remarked.

"Then that's that." Lilina said, going back to the taxi. "To the contest hall!"

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: Grand Forum Plaza, Petalburg City_

"Coordinate or Excavate...let's Excavate." Link replied, getting into the taxi.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Currently in 6th place  
__Location: Grand Forum Plaza, Petalburg City_

"What do you think?" Marth asked Sheeda what they should do.

"I say we Coordinate." Sheeda answered.

"Okay."

_Kirby and Jigglypuff  
__Currently in 7th place  
__Location: Grand Forum Plaza, Petalburg City  
_"Excavate." And that is the story of Kirby's life.

_Bowser and Ganondorf  
__Currently in 8th place  
__Location: Grand Forum Plaza, Petalburg City  
_"What to do..." Bowser was contemplating the choices when Young Link and Dr. Mario drove by and grabbed the clue and retreated.

"Follow them!" Ganondorf said.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: The Contest Hall, Petalburg City  
_"Finally, we did it." Fox said, falling onto the floor exhausted.

"Thanks..." Falco muttered, getting the clue from the Makuhita. "Umbreon Tower...let's go...as soon as we can feel our legs...oooh..."

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: The Dig Site, outside Petalburg City  
_"Yes! I finally found that elusive artifact!" Pichu yelled, holding up a golden Pokè Ball.

"Good. Let's get out of here." Pikachu said, grabbing the clue and reading it. He then flagged down a taxi and yelled, "To the Umbreon Tower!"

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Umbreon Tower _(Beautifly Boulevard and Shuppet Street),_ Petalburg City_

"Holy crap..." Yoshi said.

"What's wrong, Yoshi?" DK asked. "Shouldn't we go inside and get the clue?"

"No."

"What?"

"No!"

"Why?"

"No go. No me. No see gho- I have an idea! Why don't you go?" Yoshi squeaked at the top of his lungs.

"You'll eat spiked balls and Bob-ombs, but you not going to go inside where there could possibly see gho-" DK was immediately cut off by Yoshi's high-pitched squealing.

"AAHH! Don't say it!" Yoshi squealed, spinning like a whirling dervish. " Don't say ghost! Aah! I said it! I said ghost! I'M TERRIFIED OF GHOSTS! AAAAAAAAAA (breath of air) UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGG (another breath of air) GGGHHHH (a third breath of air)HHHH!" Yoshi screamed. It was enough to shatter all the windows in a 10-foot radius.

"Oh for the love of-" DK hoisted Yoshi onto his back, screams of protest from Yoshi reaching his ear. He slapped Yoshi and said, "Shut up."

"Okay..."

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: The Umbreon Tower _(Beautifly Boulevard and Shuppet Street),_ Petalburg City  
_"What the hell..." As they pulled up, they saw DK yelling at Yoshi to be a man; he smacked Yoshi on the head and sent it flying to the ground, a reddened area on its head that would make a splendid bruise in a day or two. Fox and Falco took in the scene before them and Fox whispered, "I don't think they sees us. Let's pull an illusion and get to the clue." With that, they both used Fox Illusion to reach the clue box. "Let's see...it's a roadblock. 'Who's ready to scare up a few thrills?'"

"A Road Block is a task only one person may perform, and no one can perform more than 6 in the whole race. In this Road Block, that person has to use the burned staircase to ascend the Umbreon Tower and reach the top using only a flashlight to defend themselves. Once they reach the top, the friendly ghost on the roof will give them their next clue." Nintendo Nut1 blinked and said, "Wait, Fox and Falco are first? WHEE!" She proceeded to pull out a Starfox gatling gun and ran around in circles, shooting the gun into the air and getting herself dizzy.

"I'll do it." Falco muttered, grabbing the flashlight and beginning his ascent into the bowels of the tower.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: The Umbreon Tower _(Beautifly Boulevard and Shuppet Street),_ Petalburg City  
_"Oh my..." Pikachu said. "That looks hellish..."

"Indeed..." Pichu replied. Grabbing the clue and reading it, he said, "You do it. You're braver than I am."

"Whatever..."

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: The Umbreon Tower _(Beautifly Boulevard and Shuppet Street),_ Petalburg City  
_"That was rather easy," Roy remarked as they left the contest hall. "But you were great, Lilina."

"Thanks, Roy...what the...is that where we're supposed to be?" Lilina asked, staring at the burned tower they stopped at.

"Oh, hell, I don't like the looks of this place." Roy quipped. "But if that's where the clue leads us, then that's where we are to go." Their taxi stopped, and they grabbed the clue inside the tower. "I'll go. This'll be easy..."

"Be careful..." Lilina squeaked.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Umbreon Tower _(Beautifly Boulevard and Shuppet Street),_ Petalburg City  
_"Oh, this is scary..." Yoshi said as he trotted up the ash-caked steps of the tower, every step creaking and whining during his ascent. Below him he saw Falco, Pikachu, Roy and Mario climbing up. Things didn't help when the step he put his foot on gave way beneath his foot; it only caused him to scream more.

"Shush!" Mario yelled from the foot of the steps. "You are-a not helping-a here!"

"Sorry..."

"GO YOSHI!" Anters yelled from off-camera.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 6th place  
__Location: The Umbreon Tower _(Beautifly Boulevard and Shuppet Street),_ Petalburg City  
_"Oh my..." Link's face was contorted with displeasure and discontent when he stared at the ruined tower.

"I'll do it...I don't know how, but I'll do it..." Zelda murmured as she clattered up the stairs.

_Bowser and Ganondorf  
__Currently in 7th place  
__Location: The Umbreon Tower _(Beautifly Boulevard and Shuppet Street),_ Petalburg City_

"I'll do it." Bowser remarked. He started climbing the stairs, but he tripped and smashed through the wooden support beam of the tower, causing it to rattle and shake. The other Smashers noticed and began to panic.

"EEEK! Mario! (choke, sob)"

"Bowser, you idiot! Now what do we do?"

"AUGH! We-a are all-a going to-a die!"

"I want my mommy!"

"Help!"

"NO! ZELDA!"

"What's your problem, Bowser!"

"Hey, I didn't do it on purpose!"

Meanwhile, inside the tower, things weren't exactly rosy, either.

"YAAA! What now!"

"The tower's collapsing! Let's get out of here!"

"We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!"

"Abort mission! We must abort our mission! The battle plan's ruined; we must retreat!"

"Help, Ash!"

"Are we going to die!"

"Let's get out of here!" At that point, everyone in the tower, including Yoshi, ran outside and out of the quaky tower. Good thing, too, cause look at that. The roof of the tower crumbled and pieces struck the walls of the tower, sending debris all over the teams. Jagged daggers of glass shattered against the cold concrete of the ground, and wood tore through some of the drywall. Smoke and debris littered the collapsing tower, and it gave a final moan before the tower collapsed completely. It raised such a smoke that it left the ground around it desolated and stripped of any life. The Smashers had avoided the destruction, but all eyes turned to Bowser.

"What?"

Bloody hell...this area won't be usable for a while. Blithering idiot...it's going to take me forever to rebuild it...

4½ hours later

At this point I finished typing up the repair program for the Umbreon Tower, and the building was rebuilt to its original condition (with a support beam of steel instead of wood) and ready for the teams. Everyone was still sore at Bowser, however, because the other teams had caught up to them while I was rebuilding the tower.

"Thanks a lot, Bowser..." Lilina growled.

"Sorry."

"I guess it's a true race now, huh?" Peach added.

"Yep." The people doing the Road Block (Yoshi, Falco, Pikachu, Roy, Mario, Zelda, Bowser, Sheeda, Dr. Mario, Ness, Kirby, and Samus) had gathered at the tower entrance.

They then proceeded to climb the tower. Everyone struggled to get inside, but Pikachu, obviously being smaller, managed to escape the tangle and reach the roof and the spirit first.

"Hi!" the spirit replied. "That was interesting, right?"

"Indeed." Pikachu agreed. The spirit gave him the clue, and said, "Now you parachute off the building! Your clue is clipped onto your bag."

"Thanks." Pikachu jumped off the building first, and got to Pichu. "I got the clue!"

"That's good." Pichu said. They tore open the clue and read, "'Hotel Roselia was an important stronghold during the Great Pokèmon Crusades. Now go there to your next Pit Stop...'"

"Teams must now make their way to the Pit Stop: Hotel Roselia." Anters explained. "A beautifully decorated hotel, with roses of all colors and a Roselia statue complimenting the courtyard, one would never guess it was once a fort used to guard Petalburg City from invading enemies."

"This opulent, lavish hotel is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race." Nintendo Nut1 said. "The last team to check in will be eliminated."

"Let's go." Pichu called a taxi and had him drive off to the Hotel.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: The Umbreon Tower _(Beautifly Boulevard and Shuppet Street),_ Petalburg City_

"Well, that was fun..." Yoshi gasped. After the spirit handed them the next clue, he jumped off and floated safely to the ground. Landing on DK, he gave him the next clue, which he read. "Hotel Roselia, huh?" DK mused. "Let's go." He called a taxi and they drove off after Pikachu and Pichu.

**Hotel Roselia: The Courtyard**

"So, are you ready, May?" Nintendo Nut1 asked. (Just in case you don't know, May is the girl trainer in the Pokèmon Ruby and Sapphire games. She is also the new girl in both _Pokèmon: Advanced _and _Pokèmon: Advanced Challenge_, TV shows on Channel 21, Cable 14)

"I am." May was a 10-year-old girl who was a budding Pokèmon coordinator from Petalburg City. She was dressed in a red blouse with a white skirt and black shorts. Her brown hair was styled to resemble a pair of long ponytails that flared out away from her face, a red and white bandana tied around her head. Her bright blue eyes were shining with excitement as she asked, "So, when is the first team coming?"

"They should be here any minute." Anters replied. "On a side note, have you watched Super Bowl XXXIX? You know, the one in Jacksonville?"

"Yeah." Nintendo Nut1 said.

"It was fun." May replied. "The Patriots versus the Eagles. The Patriots won 24 to 21, right?"

"Yeah. But the cheerleaders got annoying with 'Defense!' and 'Offense!' I was about to bust a blood vessel." Nintendo Nut1 noted, chewing on a piece of chocolate.

"Yeah, really, are the cheers helping anyone?" Anters mused. She continued, "I mean, do we see a football player get interviewed after the game and say, 'Yeah, we was gonna get beat, but the cheerleaders (God bless them), they chanted "Defense!" and our coach said, "Them gals is right. We gots to play defense."' Really, do we see that in interviews?"

Nintendo Nut1 laughed. May giggled a bit, and replied, "The mimicry was good. That was funny!"

"Yeah, but I'm not done. The cheers themselves are rather stupid." Anters replied. "I mean, one of them is B-E A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E. Be aggressive. Why do they spell it? Is it because one player is going to ask, 'B-E A-G-G...oh! Be aggressive! I thought they were spelling "Be egregious!"' Really, is that why they spell it?" This served to make Nintendo Nut1 and May laugh so hard tears were rolling down their cheeks.

"That was good!" May stifled in-between laughs. She then noticed Pikachu and Pichu coming up the drive into the courtyard. "Here's a team right now!"

Straightening themselves and struggling to get into dignified positions, Nintendo Nut1 and Anters greeted Pikachu and Pichu. "Pikachu and Pichu, you are team number one!"

"YAY!" Pikachu replied, they he noticed May and got excited. "May! It's been a while!"

"Wha-?" May stammered, but Pikachu told her, "I traveled with Ash, do you remember him?"

"Pi-Pikachu?" May asked. She then picked it up and hugged him. "Wow, Pikachu, it is you! It's so good to see you again!" However, a question was raised in her mind. "How did you learn to talk, though?"

"It's this translator hidden in our fur!" Pichu said, showing her a metal bracelet hidden in its fur.

"Ooh...who's this?" May asked, picking Pichu up.

"That's my friend, Pichu. We're buddies." Pikachu explained.

"Aaw...it's so cute!" May squealed with delight as she hugged Pichu, who was blushing furiously. "Hi! I'm May! Nice to meet you!"

"S-same here..." Pichu replied.

"Ooh, Pichu's nervous!" Pikachu squeaked, pointing to Pichu's reddened face.

"Am not!" Pichu screamed, which caused everyone to laugh. May then said, "Here!" She handed Pikachu and Pichu a box decorated with a Pokè Ball. "It's the Souvenir Set for this land!" Opening the box, they pulled out a Hotel Roselia miniature, a May figurine, and various books on Petalburg City. It was then that Yoshi and DK drove up to the courtyard. "Yoshi and DK, you are team number two!"

"Yay!" Yoshi squealed. "We're finally near the top!"

"That's good." Anters replied, smiling. She then turned around and started walking.

"Where are you going?" Nintendo Nut1 asked.

"I gotta jet." Anters replied, turning her gaze to the skies ahead. "You see, I am just a writer, so I must finish what I started. And since I have seen Yoshi and DK succeed, my mission is done. But don't worry, you'll see me again." Anters then picked up the box with Souvenir Set 2 (see Chapter 3 for details) and said, "I should hope to see you around the site!" she replied before a column of white light enveloped her. Nintendo Nut1, May and the others had to look away, and when they looked back, she was gone.

"That was strange..." May said.

"Indeed..." DK concurred.

Afterwards, it was pretty uneventful, with Fox and Falco, Roy and Lilina, Mario and Luigi, Marth and Sheeda, Ness and Mewtwo, Peach and Samus, Link and Zelda, and Bowser and Ganondorf coming in that order. (Well, Bowser got May to sign his figurine, but she slapped him when he used cheesy pick-up lines on her.) The real action, however, was on the street...

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__Currently in 11th place  
__Location: Lake LaRousse Avenue, 2.5 miles from Hotel Roselia, outside Petalburg City  
_"Hurry, Dr. Mario! Kirby and Jigglypuff are gaining!" Young Link screeched as they sped down the highway. Kirby and Jigglypuff were driving and gaining behind them as they drove at dangerous speeds down the highway towards Hotel Roselia. They were dodging cars, pedestrians, and the occasional Stantler who had the 'deer in the headlights' look on him.

"I'm-a trying! But-a I-a can't shake-a them!" Dr. Mario yelled as they dodged another car.

Kirby and Jigglypuff were currently having their own problems. "How do you speed up on this thing?" Jigglypuff asked.

"We're already at top speed!" Kirby yelled. However, they caught up to Dr. Mario and Young Link and they were side to side with them. Young Link had other plans, however. He shot an arrow through one of the windows and nearly skewered Jigglypuff. "EEK! KIRBYHELPMEKIRBYHELPME!"

"So, that's the way you want to play, huh? Take this!" Kirby screeched over to the side, hitting the doctor's car and forcing them into the guardrail. "HAHA! Try at beat us!"

"Bloody hell..." Dr. Mario muttered. He then had an idea. "Young Link, fasten your belt!" Dr. Mario then set his plan into motion.

_Meanwhile..._

"...and yeah, that's what's been going on." May finished, wiping sweat from her forehead. She then asked, "So what about you, Pikachu? How's life been?"

"Good, good. I've so far won-" He was cut off by Pichu, who squealed, "There are the last two teams!" He pointed to the cars speeding towards them, and Nintendo Nut1 noticed quickly something was wrong.

"They're going too fast!" They're gonna crash!" Nintendo Nut1 screeched as the cars came closer and closer.

Kirby yelled through a cold sweat, "Only one of us is gonna win, Dr. Mario! Who will it be?"

"I'll protect you!" Pikachu replied, arms outstretched and standing in front of May.

"I'll warn the others!" Pichu yelled.

"Good idea. I'll help too." Nintendo Nut1 replied as they dashed up the steps into the fort-converted hotel.

"Yes, Kirby, and it'll be us! HA!" Dr. Mario sped up and struck the front of Kirby's car lightly with the front of his own. "It's been fun,..."

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! TWO CARS ARE GOING TO CRASH INTO THE HOTEL!" Pichu and Nintendo Nut1 screamed throughout the hotel. This caught the attention of the other Smashers, who began to panic.

"This crap isn't good for my skin; it makes it all oily!" Peach wailed.

"Who cares about your skin, there are cars that will destroy us if we keep wagging our tongues and standing about!" Roy retorted.

"RUN!" Lilina screamed. Everyone ran out to the front where Pikachu and May were.

"Oh, much I fear some ill, unthrifty thing..." Marth muttered to no one in particular.

To his surprise, Sheeda answered him in fear, "No, but that ill, unthrifty thing has right to cause fear!"

"...but we are the victors!" Dr. Mario finished. With that, he forced the back of the car into Kirby's car, sending it rolling over on the highway before flipping over the Hotel gate and crashing upside-down in the parking lot, knocking over a streetlamp in the process. Young Link and Dr. Mario skidded to a stop in front of the host, and they got out and stepped on the world-map square. "That was crazy...but Young Link and Dr. Mario, you are team number eleven!"

"That was fun! Let's do it again!" Young Link bellowed.

"Maybe not..." May replied.

"Ooh, lucky day! You're cute..." Young Link had noticed May, and he was hooting at her. "What's your name?"

"...I'm May."

"Man, the author's got to put another cute girl at the Pit Stop next leg!" Young Link wooed. "May is a good name for a cutie like you, and-"

STFU, YOU CRAZY FLIRT!

Kirby and Jigglypuff finally made their way to the square after crawling out of the wreckage. Nintendo Nut1 said. "It brings me great sadness to say that you are the last team to arrive and that you are eliminated from the Amazing Race." Nintendo Nut1 handed them their Souvenir Set and watched as they dejectedly left the scene.

"I guess it was fun while it lasted, and I'm glad to have been with Jigglypuff." Kirby said.

"Same here." Jigglypuff replied, kissing Kirby.

"Aw, shucks..."

* * *

Whew! Talk about a suspenseful leg! Anyway, to be a co-host for the next chapter, please send a review with the following information:

Penname:

Age:

Favorite Smasher:

Description (be specific):

hair color

eye color

your attire

race

personality

any personality quirks (like CronoMaster being judgmental, Nintendo Nut1's uber-craziness, etc.)

GENDER! (Most important!)

Please include this info in your co-host application. Also, you will win Souvenir Set 3 for becoming the co-host, which includes the following:

The Hotel Roselia miniature  
A May figurine  
Maps of Hoenn  
A Guidebook to Hoenn  
The Guide to Petalburg City for Dummies book  
A new weapon of your choice  
The Pokèmon Official Master Ball

Farewell! Until next time!

Gamer21


	5. From the Hoenn Region to Alto Mare

Yo, here's the fifth installment of my _Amazing Race _story! Sorry if I didn't update last week, though; my computer was acting like it was on crack and the stupid phone line died on us because of a stupid windstorm, so I couldn't use the Internet. Yeah. That sucked. Why do I still talk?

_Note: I wrote this chappie while I was drinking soda, so don't be surprised at some of the...um...weird events that occur..._

**Responses:**

**_CronoMaster_**: Sorry. I was in a bit of a rush when I was typing the last chapter. Hope this is better!

**_IloveRoy_**: Zephyr Analea beat you to the punch. Try submitting another, though; persistence is rewarded!

**_hoogiman_**: I'm glad you enjoy it!

**_legoman727_**: Sorry. Zephyr Analea beat you to it.

**_Anters_**: Thanks! That _was _interesting, though; you liked it when I portrayed you as a girl?

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: YAYNESS! More Link Coming Up!

**_superdave_**: Zephyr Analea beat you again. Sorry, but the first one to review gets the job! Try again; I could put you as a co-host for one of the legs!

* * *

**Backstage...**

"Where to now...Pherae? Yoshi's Island? Kongo Jungle? Where should we go today..." Nintendo Nut1 asked, eating a chocolate bar.

"I could help you out there..." a girl's voice rang out. Nintendo Nut1 turned to see a 15-year-old girl with purple knee-length hair, purple eyes not unlike amethysts, and she donned a black Nurse Joy outfit. The girl asked, "No clue where to go, huh? I'm Zephyr Analea; I will delight all with my company as co-host for the chapter."

"That's nice..." Nintendo Nut1 chewed on a BBQ sparerib while she was talking. Cocking her head to one side, she asked, "Where do you think we should go, then, Ms. Mewtwo's Amore?"

"Oh, shut up." Pulling a dart out of her pocket, Zephyr Analea abruptly tossed it at the map and watched it spear a city on the map. Looking at where the dart landed, she remarked, "There, huh? With beautiful architecture and a foundation of romance, this should be good..." she said as she and Nintendo Nut1 left for the set of the Amazing Race...

* * *

"This is Petalburg City, a bustling berg in the Hoenn Region, known for the many new Pokèmon bursting from the woodwork." Nintendo Nut1 replied. "And outside the city is Hotel Roselia: an important stronghold used to protect Petalburg City during the Great Pokèmon Crusades." She then asked, "Why do we say this? To remind one of the happenings of the last chapter?" 

"Exactly." Zephyr Analea quipped, and continued, "Teams arrived here for a mandatory rest period that allows them to have a chance to eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams. The remaining teams have no idea what's waiting for them, and must follow a series of clues to reach the next Pit Stop. Will Pikachu and Pichu retain their lead? And can Young Link and Dr. Mario get out of last place?" She added, "Why don't they ask if Mewtwo will get out of seventh, huh? That's racist right there! HOW DARE THEY CAST MEWTWO OFF LIKE THAT! WHEN I FIND-"

"Okay, okay, chill out already," Nintendo Nut1 replied. Suddenly the chocolate sugar kicked in and started jumping all over the place. "JUMPY JUMPERTON! THIS IS FUN!"

"...anyway, while Nintendo Nut1 is bouncing around, Pikachu and Pichu, who arrived at 11:47 am, will depart at 11:47 pm." Zephyr Analea replied.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__1st to depart, 11:47 pm  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_"Open the clue." Pikachu replied. After tearing it open, Pikachu read, "'Go back to Petalburg City and locate the Shake Pokè Disco...'"

"Teams must now use a marked car and go to the Shake Pokè Disco in Petalburg City. Once inside, teams must find the famed DJ Danger Corphish, known for hits like Hydro Hijinks, Wizzo, and Weapon of Choice. Once they locate DJ Danger Corphish, teams will receive their next clue." Nintendo Nut1 replied, before going crazy again and shouted, "DANCE, ALL YA SHIZNITS! D-IZ-ANCE! YAY!" She thus earned sweatdrops from Zephyr Analea and the readers of the story.

"'You have 50 dollars for this leg of the race...'" Pichu finished. "Let's go!"

_Yoshi and DK  
__2nd to depart, 11:53 pm  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_"Shake Pokè Disco...ever hear of that place?" Yoshi asked.

"I don't think so..." DK replied.

"We're screwed..." Yoshi finished, hopping into a marked car and driving to the disco.

_Fox and Falco  
__3rd to depart, 12:01 am  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_"So, now we head to this disco?" Falco mused, running a feathered head through his head. "This'll be good..."

"I'm not too sure about this..."Fox griped. However, he and Falco got into a marked car (nice one, too. A Carrera GT.) and drove off down the highway.

_Roy and Lilina  
__4th to depart, 12:09 am  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_"A disco...I don't think I've heard of it..." Roy said in a curious manner.

"If there's dancing, I'd like to go..." Lilina squealed.

"Well, if you say so." Roy remarked as they got into a marked car and drove off. "We have got to have some fun on this race...so why not?"

_Mario and Luigi  
__5th to depart, 12:11 am  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_"Wow-a, a disco? Count-a me in!" Luigi said enthusiastically.

"But-a we are-a in a race-a, Luigi!" Mario griped as they got into a marked car.

"Oh-a, come on! You-a sound like-a a jaded old-a man! If we-a don't lose ourselves-a in this adventure-a, we'll-a never have-a any fun!" Luigi scolded, hopping into the driver's seat and putting on a pair of sunglasses. "Oh,-a YEAH! Let's-a go!"

"You-a do know that-a you'll-a be blind as-a bats, right?" Mario said.

"Oh." Removing the glasses, Luigi drove onto the highway and strung their way to the disco.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__6th to depart, 12:17 am  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_"Ooh, a disco! Shall we?" Marth asked, holding Sheeda's hand and bowing before his blue-haired beauty.

"Let's!" Sheeda squeaked, hopping into a marked car and driving off.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__7th to depart, 12:21 am  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_"Well, a disco?" Mewtwo raised his eyebrows in polite incredulity and muttered, "There's probably a lot of rambunctious folk over there. Employ caution."

"Will do!" Ness remarked as they got into a car and drove off.

"EEEEEEEEEEE! IT'S MEWTWO! EEEEEEEEE!" Zephyr Analea screamed offstage, sounding like a sugar-high banshee.

_Peach and Samus  
__8th to depart, 12:35 am  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_"A disco? Off we go, then." Peach whimsically replied, going to a car and driving off.

_Link and Zelda  
__9th to depart, 12:45 am  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_"So, we get to dance the night away..." Link remarked as he read the clue.

"That's so cool! Let's go!" Zelda squealed as they got into a marked car and drove off.

_Bowser and Ganondorf  
__10th to depart, 12:55 am  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_"A disco, huh? Ready to tear it up?" Bowser asked as they got into a marked car and drove off.

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__Last to depart, 1:00 am  
__Location: Outside Hotel Roselia  
_'Nuff said.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Lake LaRousse Avenue, 3.1 miles from the Petalburg City entrance  
_"Yo, watch it!" Pikachu yelled as Yoshi bumped them into the guardrail next to the road. "You tryin' to kill us?"

"Well, we'll do what we have to to win!" Yoshi squeaked as Pikachu plowed into the side of the car as bit of the metal door flew into the street. "Hey! That wasn't fair!"

"All's fair in racing and war!" Pikachu retorted, slamming the car into Yoshi, the rear spoiler snapping off and blowing out one of the tires.

"Oh, that tears it!" Yoshi screamed. He plowed the car full force into Pikachu, sending their car flying off the highway and into the air. "See you next fall!" Yoshi screamed as he and DK rushed off.

"AAAAAAHHH! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Pichu screamed as their car plummeted into Petalburg City below.

"Quick! Get into the back!" Pikachu screamed. Grabbing Pichu's hand and pulling him into the back, he replied, "Are we going to die?"

"Well, before we die, let me say it was an honor to be your partner during the race." Pichu replied, clutching Pikachu.

"Same here." Pikachu replied. He then added, "We're going to be eliminated, or worse, killed, so brace yourself!"

The car soon was flying into Petalburg City as people and Pokèmon watched in horror as the car flew into the city, the cold, hard concrete looming ever closer into view. However, the car released several airbags that protected Pikachu and Pichu from any injury as their car crashed through the roof of the Shake Pokè Disco building and landed on the dance floor, scaring several partygoers and earning several badmouths from others.

"Did we die?" Pikachu asked.

"Hey, we're in the Shake Pokè Disco!" Pichu squealed as they got out of the car, stumbling and coughing all the while.

"You can't be serious!" Pikachu glanced out the window and took in their surroundings. The disco was full of partygoing Pokèmon who were dancing and drinking and dicing and wenching several girl Pokèmon. Looking around, they noticed a Corphish who was staring and muttered, "Yo, I've heard of bringing down the house, but that's just w-iz-ack!" thus earning him several chuckles from sober partygoers.

"HEY! You're DJ Danger Corphish, aren't you?" Pichu asked. "I've heard of you! _Yo, Mag, we's gots the rap patrol on my capito, foos that wanna make sho my girls is ho's, __Rap critics who says "Pokès, moolah, girls," I'm from Malibu, stupid, where we is from the ghetto, ho!_ I have your latest record!" Pichu produced a CD from his backpack and asked, "Can I have your autograph?"

"Fo shizzle, nizzle, gotta keep the flo dope, a'ight?" DJ Danger Corphish grabbed a pen and signed the CD cover and then added, "Yo, youse'll need thizzle, t-iz-oo!" He handed them the next clue and asked, "Now, get that c-iz-ar outta the club, will youse? I gots a party to DJ-izzle, and I gotta be big pimpin', ya hear?" Pikachu and Pichu got back into the car and drove out the front door, then skidded to a stop and read the next clue.

"That was fun," Pichu replied. "He also signed my CD! YAY!" Pichu then began reading the clue and said, "'Make your way to the ferry station outside Petalburg City and book tickets to travel to your next destination, Alto Mare...'"

"Teamsmust now travel to the Lapras Ferry Building outside Petalburg City on Route 35. Once there, teams must buy tickets to go to the city of Alto Mare in Johto, known as the 'Jewel of the Seas' and a city that lent its dramatic backdrop to the _Pokèmon Heroes _movie," Zephyr Analea explained. "Upon reaching the city, teams must locate the Renaissance Bridge to receive their next clue. Wait, where's Mewtwo...?"

"Alto Mare!" Pikachu belted out. "Man, it's been too long since I saw it last... let's go!" With that, Pikachu put the pedal to the floor and bolted through the Petalburg streets towards the ferry station.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Shake Pokè Disco, Petalburg City_

"Well, well. So where can one find this DJ Danger Corphish?" Yoshi asked.

"He's over there." The barkeep answered, pointing towards the center of the dance floor.

"Can we get out of here?" DK vexed. "This Slaking is staring at me, and I don't like it!"

He chose this moment to look up and noticed the car-shaped hole in the ceiling. "Holy banana! Where'd that come from?"

"Oh, a Ford Mustang-a Shelby GT 2005, nice car- crash-landed in here earlier. The occupants- a Pikachu and Pichu, I believe- talked to the DJ and-" The barkeep was interrupted by Yoshi.

"WHAT!" Yoshi screamed. "Pikachu and Pichu beat US! Come on, we have to get the clue!" After bowling over all the partygoers and literally running into the DJ, they grabbed the clue, hopped into their car, and blasted through the streets to catch up with Pikachu and Pichu.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Shake Pokè Disco, Petalburg City  
_"Here we are..." Gazing around the dance floor, Roy was immediately besieged by a drunken Blissey who was trying to hit on him. Tossing the Blissey into the crowd, he yelled to Lilina, "Do you see DJ Danger Corphish anywhere?"

"EEEK! HELP!" Lilina screamed as several drunken Spheal tried to hit on her and steal her away. Roy rushed to her rescue and kicked the Spheal into the wall one by one until they were KO'ed by his kicking. "Thanks, Roy." Lilina replied, clutching her redheaded swordsman protectively.

"Hey, you're welcome!" Roy grinned, blushing furiously. "But let's find that DJ and get out of this madhouse first..."

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Shake Pokè Disco, Petalburg City  
_"Augh! Yo, Fox! Get rid of the guys to my rear!" Falco screeched as several female Taillow were pursuing him through the nightclub.

"Hold on!" Fox yelled, heading in Falco's direction and shooting all the Pokèmon in his way.

"Bah! I ate that!" Falco spluttered as a Taillow swiped at his StarFox jacket.

_Mario and Luigi  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: Shake Pokè Disco, Petalburg City  
_"Yowsa! How-a will we find this-a DJ in all of-a this crap?" Luigi yelled. He then shrieked as a Skitty double-slapped his butt.

"I don't-a know... hey! I'll-a have you know-a that's sexual-a harassment!" Mario yelled as he tossed a Bagon who smacked his butt into the crowd of partygoers. "I-a hate this-a place..."

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Currently in 6th place  
__Location: Shake Pokè Disco, Petalburg City  
_"NO! MARTH!" Sheeda screamed as an incoming Torchic tried to burn her with an Ember attack.

"I'm coming!" Marth found a neglected blaster on the bar and shot at the spotlights above the floor. They abruptly crashed to the ground, scattering the Pokèmon and scaring the living daylights out of Sheeda's attacker. "You saved me! Thanks, Marth."

"Heh, no biggie."

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 7th place  
__Location: Shake Pokè Disco, Petalburg City  
_"Whoa!" Link yelled as lighting, steel beams and plaster rained down upon them. "Yo, Marth, watch where you're shooting, will you!"

"Oof! Can't you tell your friends from your enemies?" Zelda vexed. "Hey, Link! There's the DJ!"

"What!" Roy screamed above the roar of the crowd. "Where?"

"That way!" Zelda yelled, pointing in the direction of the turntables. The teams shoved their way through and each received a clue from the DJ. "Good. Let's get out of here..."

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 8th place  
__Location: Shake Pokè Disco, Petalburg City  
_"Yow!" Mewtwo yelled as several Pokèmon tried to bear hug him. "Where's that stupid DJ..."

"YOU LEAVE MEWTWO ALONE!" Zephyr Analea yelled as she dove into the crowd, punching and kicking all the Pokèmon that came at her.

"That should be enough of a distraction while we get the clue..." Ness sweatdropped as he located DJ Danger Corphish and received the clue. "Let's ditch this place..."

"Agreed. Come, Zephie, we mustn't stay longer." Dragging Zephyr Analea out of the nightclub, Mewtwo put her offstage in a gentle manner as they hopped into their getaway car and drove off in the direction of the ferry station.

"YAY! HE GAVE ME A NICKNAME!" Zephyr shrieked offstage. "This was meant to be..." she remarked, swooning somewhat as Nintendo Nut1 backed away and stared in complete disbelief.

_Peach and Samus  
__Currently in 9th place  
__Location: Shake Pokè Disco, Petalburg City  
_"Hell, where's that DJ?" Samus said as she fired into the crowd, sending Pokèmon flying all over the dance floor.

"I have no idea..." Peach replied.

"Hey, git outta here, you old hag!" a heckler in the crowd screamed.

"...old...HAG!" Peach screamed. At that she pounced onto the crowd and beat the crap out of everyone, creating an anime dust-cloud that obscured so much that there was no chance of a visual description inside the disco.

_Bowser and Ganondorf  
__Currently in 10th place  
__Location: Shake Pokè Disco, Petalburg City  
_"There's the DJ!" Bowser whispered, as so that Peach didn't hear and attack them. Sneaking over to the DJ (and playing the _Mission: Impossible_ theme from a portable boom box they jacked in Eagleland), they got the clue and stealthily escaped to the safety of their car and drove off in the unsettling moonlight.

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__Currently in last place  
__Location: Shake Pokè Disco, Petalburg City  
_"DUCK AND COVER!" Dr. Mario screamed as several Pokèmon stampeded in their direction. Jumping to safety behind the bar, Young Link attempted to reach the DJ, but was held up as Peach chased after him. Running around the dance floor, he yelled, "I could always outrun Peach...why can't I NOW!"

"SHE'S NOT CARRYING A LOT OF CRAP NOW!" Dr. Mario screamed. "AND SHE WASN'T PMSing WHEN YOU FOUGHT HER, FOR THAT MATTER!" he added.

"DOOOOOOOOM!" Peach screeched. At this point, Young Link screamed like a little girl, ran by the DJ, swiped the clue, grabbed Dr. Mario and rushed out of the building posthaste before Peach could pounce on them.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Ferry Station, Route 35_

"Crap...the ferry station's closed." Pichu noted.

"It's 2:30 in the morning, for Lugia's sake. Why _wouldn't_ it be closed?" Pikachu retorted.

"Well, sorry! I just want to get out of here before the other teams came!" Pichu snapped.

"I don't think that's happening...take a look." Pikachu pointed behind Pichu, and he turned to see Yoshi's car drive up behind them.

"...crap. This sucks." Pichu said.

"You pulled a fast one on us, Pichu." Yoshi remarked, a smirk crawling onto his face.

"Hey, you're the one who smashed us off the friggin' cliff!"

"...sorry about that. So, what now?" Yoshi asked.

"I have no clue. Your guess is as good as mine about now..." Pichu squeaked.

3½ hours later...

"Man, do these teams snake us or what?" Yoshi spluttered as all the teams were there with him.

"All the teams are now on the same ferry to Alto Mare, in the Johto Region. (Is that right?)" Nintendo Nut1 replied. "Once they reached the Venice-like hamlet, teams must locate the Renaissance Bridge to receive the next clue."

**Alto Mare, Johto Region  
****The Ferry from Petalburg City**

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Gorriti Canal, Alto Mare  
_"Holy crap...you're actually saying that you CAME here!" Pichu spluttered in disbelief as he stared at the fine Italian architecture that graced the Alto Mare canals.

"That's correct." Pikachu replied, glancing up and down the canal as gondolas, motorboats and the occasional police boat mazed their way through the canals. "If I remember correctly, the Gorriti Canal should lead us to the Renaissance Bridge."

"So let's go already!" Pichu screamed.

"Calm down!" Pikachu scolded. "Besides, the air is clean and the water is sparkling, so we should sit back, have a soda and relax!"

_Mario and Luigi  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Gorriti Canal, Alto Mare  
_"Oh-a wow... doesn't-a this bring-a back some-a déjà vu?" Luigi asked his older brother as he languidly glanced through the canal.

"Indeed-a...this-a reminds me of our-a hometown in-a Italy!" Mario replied. His ears picked up the sound of a violin, and when he saw the source of the sound, he beheld four men who were played a violin, cello, viola and a bass. They played splendidly, and Mario said, "Oh-a my god, they-a even have violin-a bands here!"

"OOH! I wanna listen-a!" Luigi reported, having their gondola rower stop near the restaurant they were playing at. "This-a is heaven-a."

"I-a agree."

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Gorriti Canal, Alto Mare  
_"Oh, ROY!" Lilina squealed. "It's BEAUTIFUL here!"

"Man, who'd' a thought that a marvelous city would exist in a crazy land like this?" Roy mused. "I'm really glad a place like this exists, though. One, it's so peaceful and serene, and two, it's an ideal place to escape to, you catch my drift?"

"Yeah..." Lilina remarked. _I'd love to escape here with you, Roy,_ she thought.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Gorriti Canal, Alto Mare  
_"Whoa..." Yoshi said.

"You can say that again..." DK gaped.

"Whoa..."

"Oh, shut up." DK muttered as he tried jacking a passing banana boat.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: Gorriti Canal, Alto Mare  
_"By Din's fire..." Link gasped.

"This place is more beautiful than the royal gardens of Hyrule!" Zelda exclaimed.

"And to think a beautiful city lay in such a madhouse region like this..." Link spoke.

"A beautiful city indeed..." Zelda gasped.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Renaissance Bridge, Alto Mare  
_"Here's the clue." Pichu said. Ripping it open, he read, "'Locate the _Il Forte Gelato_ ice cream parlor...'"

"Teams must now locate the _Il Forte Gelato_ Ice Cream and Frozen Yogurt Parlor, located in the center of town near the _Museo Correr_. (That is the name of an actual museum in Venice, the city Alto Mare is based on.)" Zephyr Analea explained. "Once there, teams can locate the next clue on the parlor counter. Hey, wait! Where's Mewtwo!"

Whoa! Don't get your panties in a bunch, I'm getting to that!

"Let's go then." Pikachu replied, directing their gondolier to the town center.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 6th place  
__Location: Gorriti Canal, Alto Mare  
_"I'm hungry..." Ness said.

"..."

"I'm hungry..."

"..."

And so went a 'conversation' in the lives of Ness and Mewtwo.

_Mario and Luigi  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: The Renaissance Bridge, Alto Mare_

"Wow, that was-a cool!" Luigi replied. "This-a is fun. Everything-a is fun!"

"It sure is..." Mario remarked as he read the clue. "...and it-a gets better! Who-a wants a gelato-a?"

"OOH, ME! ME!" Luigi shrieked.

"Let's-a go!" Mario replied as he jumped onto the bow of the gondola. "To-a _Il Forte Gelato_!"

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: The Renaissance Bridge, Alto Mare  
_"_Il Forte Gelato_? Ever heard of it, Lilina?" Roy asked.

"I'm just as in the dark as you are at this point..."

"Oh, well..." With that, they hopped back onto their gondola to locate the ice cream parlor.

_Peach and Samus  
__Currently in 7th place  
__Location: The Renaissance Bridge, Alto Mare  
_"Ay ay ay..." Peach said as she read the clue. "That was fun, beating the crap out of those ungrateful Pokèmon! They don't know that I am a prize!"

"Yeah, the trophy for Most Demented Princess in Existence..." Samus retorted.

"SHUT UP!"

_Bowser and Ganondorf  
__Currently in 8th place  
__Location: Gorriti Canal, Alto Mare  
_"GWAH! WHY DO WE KEEP SINKING INTO THE FRIGGIN' CANAL!" Bowser yelled as their 9th gondola sank. Bowser's voice was loud enough to shatter all the windows and sink all boats in a 25-foot radius.

"Maybe it's because of your overwhelmingly humongous physique..." Ganondorf said.

"...what?"

"Never mind." Ganondorf waded through the canal to the bridge, Bowser following close behind.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"Wait, how'd we become first?" Link blurted out.

"Never mind that!" Zelda quipped. "Let's just get the clue already!" Rushing over to the clue box and tearing open a clue she had retrieved, she read, "'Road Block. Who has a sweet tooth?'"

"A Road Block is a task only one person will perform, and no one person can do more than six Road Blocks in the course of the entire race." Nintendo Nut1 said. "In this Road Block, that person has to eat 5 3-ounce servings of different flavored gelatos served by the cook. Once they have completed this task, teams will receive their next clue. WOOT! I LOVE YOU, LINK!"

"...okay, then...I'll do it." Zelda replied.

"..." Link raised an eyebrow in polite incredulity.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"How did they get here before us!" Pikachu vexed as they grabbed the clue.

"Man, if that stupid shop owner didn't spill molasses onto the street, we would be in first!" Pichu complained.

"Bloody hell." Reading the clue, Pikachu replied, "You do it, Pichu. You like sweets."

"Sweet..."

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare_

"I love having psychic powers." Ness said with an air of satisfaction.

"Agreed. I wonder why we didn't use them earlier." Mewtwo chuckled, then grabbed a clue and read it. "I'll perform this task. It should be easy."

"YAY MEWTWO!" Zephyr Analea cheered from the sidelines.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"So, do you want the gelatos or should I?" Falco asked.

"I'll handle this..." Fox muttered, half-tired from the disco incident.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Currently in 9th place  
__Location: Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"Wow...this city sure knows its architecture..." Marth said as he and Sheeda strolled through the city.

"Yeah, just wondrous." Sheeda answered. "This is grand! I'd like to come here again, just the two of us, Marth."

"That can be arranged...hey, there's the clue!" Reading their status a few lines above them, he asked, "Wait! We already fast-forwarded to the teams in the rear?"

"Looks like it..." Sheeda said as she read the clue. "You do it, Marth."

"Fine."

_Young Link and Dr. Mario  
__Currently in last place  
__Location: Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"I'll do it." Young Link said. Stepping into the parlor and seating himself in one of the many chairs scattered around the room, he noticed Zelda, Pichu, Mewtwo, Fox, Yoshi, Roy, Peach, Bowser, Marth, and Mario waiting impatiently, screaming their heads off, bitch-slapping competitors, and other crap like that. The chef chose this time to hand out 5 gelatos to each person, and everyone started eating. Mario had decided to literally gulp down the gelatos for the sake of the race, and he received the clue first. He ran outside to where Luigi was waiting and read the clue. "'Detour-a...Hide or Seek...'"

"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons." Zephyr Analea remarked. "In this Detour, teams must choose between Hide or Seek. In Hide, teams must go to the Piazza San Marco, where the clue is sitting out in the open. Teams can only receive the clue if they evade the guards that patrol the plaza, however. This task is physically demanding, but teams with speed and stealth can finish quickly. In Seek, teams must locate the Hidden Garden from the _Pokèmon Heroes _movie using only the visual aids from the movie itself, in an iPod enclosed in the envelope with the clue. If they find the garden, a Latias will give them their next clue. This task is not demanding, but searching the city for a garden using only a movie can take a while. GO MEWTWO! YAY!"

"Let's Seek." Luigi said, but he noticed his brother clutching his head in pain and spinning around like a demented yo-yo. "What's-a wrong?"

"I-A GOT BRAIN FREEZE! AUGH-A! THE-A PAIN, THE-A PAIN!" Mario shrieked as he continued his erratic spinning around the ground, causing Luigi to sweatdrop and sigh.

"Sometimes-a I want-a to slap him-a..."

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Outside Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"Hide or Seek...shall we Seek?" Pichu asked.

"Sure! I remember where to go from last I was here!" Pikachu replied as they dashed towards the _Museo Correr_.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Outside Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"We should Seek, Zel, because I can't sneak around as well as I used to." Link said.

"But how will we find it?" Zelda asked.

Link was about to answer when he saw Pikachu and Pichu dash off in the direction behind them. "Follow Pikachu and Pichu! They might be doing the same thing we are!"

"Got it!" Zelda replied as they followed suit after Pikachu and Pichu.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Outside Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"Hide or Seek...hmm...what to do..." Roy pondered.

"Hey!" Lilina said suddenly. Roy turned to the azure-haired mage, and she exclaimed pointing to the Museum, "There's Link and Zelda following Pikachu and Pichu!"

"Follow the leader, huh?" Roy asked as they rushed off after the teams.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: Outside Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"I say we should Hide." Fox said.

"If you say so..." Falco quipped.

_Peach and Samus  
__Currently in 6th place  
__Location: Outside Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"Feel like hiding?" Samus asked.

"Ooh, I wanna see what being a spy is like!" Peach replied whimsically.

"Fine. We'll Hide." Samus and Peach ran off, Peach digging through her pack for her skin-tight super spy suit. (That's a lot of S's...)

_Bowser and Ganondorf  
__Currently in 7th place  
__Location: Outside Il Forte Gelato, Alto Mare  
_"I say we should Hide because blahblahblahblahblahblahblahLinkissuchapansyblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahNesswearsathongblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahPeachisstupidblahblahblahblah and that's why we should do it." Bowser remarked.

"Oookay..." Ganondorf said.

**Piazza San Marco**

Fox, Falco, Ganondorf, Bowser, Peach, and Samus gathered at the plaza where they saw clues lying in a pile on the other side. However, there was a platoon of decorated guards marching around in a crazy pattern around the plaza. Seeing the guards, Ganondorf said, "What were you thinking, Bowser? Do you know how many guards there are? Geez, what are the chances of succeeding..."

"Let's see..." Bowser said. "One: I thought absolutely nothing because I was on an ice cream high. Two: there's a platoon of guards, and a platoon is equivalent to 50. Three: we have a 7 chance if we take into account humidity, wind chill factor, distractions, adrenaline concentration and the patterns of the guards' movement."

"Holy crap..." Ganondorf said.

"You've been watching NUMB3RS again, haven't you?" Falco muttered.

"Yep." Everyone had sweatdropped at this, including the readers, Nintendo Nut1, and Zephyr Analea.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Several nameless alleys, Alto Mare  
_Pikachu and Pichu were making their way through the alleys and gulleys of Alto Mare with a mission: locate the Hidden Garden and retrieve the clue from Latias. However, Pichu kept turning around. Seeing nothing, he kept following Pikachu. Unbeknownst to them, all the other teams were following them.

"Hey, Pikachu?" Pichu squeaked. "Do you have the strange sensation that there's someone following us?"

"Yeah...it's unnerving." Pikachu said, glancing around.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Several nameless alleys, Alto Mare  
_"Hey, wait a minute..." Roy revealed the iPod and pressed the play button. Before him, he saw a fragment of the _Pokèmon Heroes _movie that showed the location of the Hidden Garden. "Lilina! We can use this to locate that garden."

"Well, what are we doing, then? Let's go!" Lilina scared the crap out of Pikachu and Pichu as she jumped out of the box she was hiding in and followed Roy, Pikachu and Pichu chasing after them and shooting thunderbolts all the while.

**Piazza San Marco**

"That...was weird." one of the guards replied. "Hey, did you just see something dart behind the pillars?"

"Didn't see anything." the second guard replied. "Are you sure you saw something?"

"Yes!" the first guard vexed. "I swear to God that-"

"OH MY GOD! HE JUST SWORE!" Peach shrieked from behind a pillar.

"What the hell was that?" a guard asked. "Did you hear that?"

"No duh." a fourth guard snapped. "We all heard that. Not unless we're victims of mass hypnotism from that Indian tribe-what a bore our boss is with those stories from India, they are-, we all heard that. Hiyoup! Who's there?"

"No one but us pillars..." Falco said sarcastically.

"Oh. Carry on, Mr. Pillar." the guards replied as they went back to patrolling the plaza.

"Damn. That worked. Am I good or what?" Falco remarked, feeling full of himself.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Hidden Garden, Alto Mare  
_"Roy...look!" Lilina squealed as they approached the gardens. "It's beautiful!"

"Whoa..." The gardens, overflowing with water and lush greenery, complemented with the fine Italian architecture of Alto Mare, really were appealing to the eye. Strolling through, Roy had pulled Lilina close to him and asked, "Are you glad I went with you on this journey?"

"Yeah...thanks. You've always been my greatest friend, and...um...I really like you for that..." Lilina stammered as Roy felt his cheeks burn. Lilina somehow tripped and fell backwards onto Roy, causing them both to blush even harder. At this time a Pokèmon flew up to them and stared at them. Getting a closer look, Roy and Lilina noticed that it was a huge white and red dragon. Its wings stuck out stiffly from its body and it looked down at them with large, cute golden eyes, white tufts of feathers sticking up from its head like pigtails. "Is this Latias? Ooh, so kawaii!" Lilina squealed as the Latias cried out happily. It flew off and out of their sight, causing them to cock their heads in curiosity. Several minutes later it came back with a clue in its mouth and dropped it at Roy's feet, crying happily in its cute voice.

"For us?" Roy asked. Taking the clue, he thanked Latias and hugged it, and Lilina did the same before running out of the garden. Reading the clue after they rushed out of the hidden garden, Roy repeated, "'Make your way to the next Pit Stop, the _Museo Correr_...'"

"Teams must now make their way to the _Museo Correr_ in the center of Alto Mare, which is known as one of the best and most well-known museums in all of Nintendo." Nintendo Nut1 said. "This museum, which also displays the Defense Mechanism of Alto Mare featured in the movie _Pokèmon Heroes_, is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in will be eliminated."

"Well, we're done here, so let's go." Roy said.

"Wait!" Lilina ran back into the gardens, leaving Roy to stare in wonderment for several minutes. Sometime later, Lilina came back out of the garden, a digital camera strung around her neck. "I just _had_ to get a picture! It's so kawaii!"

"Okay, okay. Shall we go now?" Receiving a nod from Lilina, she and Roy rushed out of the alleys to avoid giving away the location of the hidden garden.

**Piazza San Marco**

"... ... ... Wuoooohhhhhhh!" one of the guards groaned.

"Listen! It is the guardian's signal... The battle soon begins..." a rat-faced guard shouted.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." the guard repeated.

"I wonder how many men lost their lives after hearing the yell of this brute? Those who call him the mad beast warrior were fairly accurate..." the rat-face said.

"You ate the rotten bagel, didn't you?" a third guard asked the first. The first guard nodded, clutching his stomach in pain.

"Man, the guards get stranger and stranger each minute..." Falco quipped, who was a pillar away from retrieving the clue. He then toned his ear to another conversation between the guards.

"98... ... 99... ... and... ...100! Phew... If the boss finds me, he's going to make me do that training... So I have to keep training just to avoid his training! ...Wahh!" one of the guards shrieked.

"Tsk! You were...hiding! You go through so much just to avoid my training..." the boss bellowed to the point everyone on the plaza grounds heard them. "But I won't give up!"

"Ahh, it's no good..." the guard panted, beginning his run. "He's just going to catch me eventually... Normally, I would be ecstatic to train to become a supervisor... But that guy's just too much! ...How long can I keep running? Hanhh...Hanhh..."

"Sucks to be him." Bowser remarked.

"Indeed..." Ganondorf concurred.

"Hush!" Peach agonized. Falco, however, took this time to scurry over to the pile of clues and swiped one. Using Fox Illusions, he escaped the guards' attention and gave the clue to Fox.

"Good job," he complimented. "_Museo Correr..._let's shove off."

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: The Hidden Garden, Alto Mare  
_"Link...look at how beautiful this is!" Zelda exclaimed, pointing to the many flowers and trees scattered throughout the garden.

"Yeah...beautiful..." Link replied, getting lost in both the garden _and _Zelda. 'Wow...she's so beautiful...' Strolling through the paradise, he found a morning glory (Zelda's favorite flower), picked it and gave it to Zelda, who just blushed and giggled girlishly.

"Oh, thank you, Link! I'm probably the luckiest girl in the world to be with someone like you..."

"Heh heh heh...whoa, what's that?" Link asked.

"What's what?" Zelda turned around and noticed the Latias swooping up to them. Of course, not knowing what the Pokèmon was, Link and Zelda couldn't help but scream.

Blinking with its golden eyes, the Latias cried out in annoyance and flew off. Link and Zelda were relieved, but screamed again when Latias flew back towards them. Zelda, however, noticed the clue in its mouth. "Link, stop that!" she vexed. Showing no disposition of stopping, she gave Link a sharp slap on the cheek, before he gasped and hiccupped into silence.

"Ow...what the hell was that for!" Link spluttered, rubbing the reddened area on his face where Zelda slapped him.

"Umm...I think that's Latias." Zelda said, pointing eloquently to the red and white dragon hovering in front of them.

"Oh...oops." Taking the clue, Link and Zelda had left the garden, but not before apologizing to the poor Latias and hugging it, causing it to cry out happily before flying off.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: A bridge several miles away from Museo Correr  
_"Man, how the hell did this happen?" Pikachu replied. "We think the bridge will take us to the Museum, but it leads us through the whole city!"

"Hey, you said you knew where we were going." Pichu yelled.

"Oh, shut up."

**Piazza San Marco**

"Now what?" Bowser replied. "We still haven't reached the damn clue!"

"I have an idea." Ganondorf replied. After several whisperings, Bowser and Ganondorf hooked up their boom box to a nearby pillar with an electric socket and started playing the _Mission: Impossible _theme song. This caught the guards' attention, and they made their way to the boom box's location. Ganondorf then produced a sleep gas grenade from the inner sanctum of his pants pocket.

"Behold, this gas grenade will knock out the guards soundly and not produce any long-term side effects." Tossing into the crowd, the grenade produced a sweet-smelling pinkish gas that abruptly knocked out the guards. Bowser and Ganondorf, along with Peach and Samus, grabbed the clue and bolted before the guards awoke.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: A small island 1.5 miles from the Museo Correr  
_"Oh, hell no..." Pikachu spluttered as Bowser and Ganondorf caught up to them.

"Ha-ha! Take this!" Ganondorf replied. He pulled his foot back and kicked Pikachu with all his strength, kicked Pikachu so hard he ended up flying away and becoming a star, crying out "You'll pay for this!" before disappearing into the night sky. "There. No more Pikachu to mess up our plans!"

"HOW DARE YOU!" Pichu screamed.

"Hey, as you said, all's fair in racing and war!" Bowser teased before rushing off towards the Museum.

"I NEVER SAID THAT!" Pichu screamed.

"WHY ARE WE TALKING WITH CAPITAL LETTERS?" Roy asked, popping up behind Pichu and being electrocuted shortly after.

"SHUT UP!" Pichu squealed, running after Bowser and Ganondorf.

"I think someone left the Caps Lock on too long..." Lilina reported. "My dialogue isn't in capital letters."

"I see..." Zelda said who just happened to be right behind them.

"Hey! Where'd you come from!"

"I see you teleported..." Mewtwo remarked as he and Ness popped up behind Link, Zelda, Roy and Lilina.

"Yeek! Don't do that!" Lilina squeaked, clutching Roy in fear and abruptly letting go of the crimson-haired swordsman, her face as red as an apple.

"I couldn't resist."

"MEWTWO-SAMA!" Zephyr Analea squealed, running up to him and hugging him. "OH, I'm so glad you're not last!"

"Well, aren't-a they never-a last?" Mario said as he and Luigi ran up behind them.

"We will be if we keep wagging our tongues like this!" Falco concurred, his and Fox's appearance as abrupt as ever.

"Come on, let's go..." Marth replied as he and Sheeda appeared behind them. Afterwards, the group of Smashers ran towards the _Museo Correr._

**The Museo Correr**

At the small concrete island that held the palace-façade museum, Bowser and Ganondorf had run up to the connecting bridge at the end, gasping and huffing having run out of breath. "Man, we're first!" Bowser replied. "We are da shiznits!"

"Hey!" Pichu yelled, running up behind them. "You're not going to get away with this!"

"And what will happen? A star will attack us?" Ganondorf taunted, smacking Pichu. "Pikachu is gone and there's nothing you can do about it!"

"Umm...Ganondorf?" Bowser stammered.

"What? Can you not see I am in gloat mode?" Ganondorf muttered, annoyed.

"But..." Bowser pointed to the sky. Ganondorf looked up, and he saw a flaming object in the sky that was approaching the Nintendo world, hurdling at them at full speed. Closer inspection found that it was Pikachu, whom Ganondorf kicked into space, and he was on fire. Literally. "Oh, that's hot!" Pikachu screamed as he entered the atmosphere, aimed at Bowser and Ganondorf like a homing missile.

"Oh shit..."

Pikachu collided with them at 700 mph, and a huge explosion was heard throughout the canal-laced city. Roy, Link, Mewtwo and the others were literally thrown off their feet and into the other buildings as the impact caused an earthquake that could be felt all around the world.

"Holy shit!" Lilina squeaked, brushing dirt and debris off her cloak. "What was that!"

"I thought it was the end..." Link spluttered.

"What are we doing standing around!" Mewtwo vexed. "Let us locate this meteor and implore on this conversation later!"

"YEAH! GO MEWTWO!" Zephyr Analea squealed offstage.

Pichu had to cover his eyes to avoid the smoke that erupted from the impact site. When the smoke cleared, Pichu was stunned. Strangely enough, the Museum had barely been touched, but the island it was built on and a few other islands around it were shattered into huge slabs of concrete, tile and glass. A small temple that was built on the impact site had collapsed into the nearby ocean, some marble pillars and stained granite the only indication it stood on the plot in the first place. Several other buildings and the connecting bridge had sunk into the canal, and Pichu could just make out the _Il Forte Gelato_ Ice Cream Parlor only inches away from the devastation. Bowser and Ganondorf were unconscious and lying in a foot-deep crater in the Museum courtyard, and a minute later Pikachu emerged from the pile of rubble created in the impact. "Ugh...what happened?"

"Ganondorf kicked you into space, and you came back as a meteor and flattened them and the city of Alto Mare." Pichu said.

"Holy shit..."

"Let's go!" Pichu replied, dragging him into the Museum. Inside, Nintendo Nut1, Zephyr Analea, and a third girl was waiting for them in front of a giant machine with crazy dials, metals and stuff, which Pichu guessed was the Defense Mechanism of Alto Mare. Gazing upon the girls, he noticed the new girl had gold eyes and chestnut hair styled like Latias: tufts of chestnut hair sticking up from her head like pigtails. Upon her hair was a large white beret, and she wore a green blouse, a short white skirt, black knee-high socks and bright pink loafers. She was also carrying a portfolio that had various art supplies sticking out from different pockets of the nylon container. Striding up to Nintendo Nut1, Pichu and Pikachu saw the chestnut vision reply, "Hello! Welcome to Alto Mare! Hi, Pikachu, how's life?"

"Pikachu and Pichu, you are team number 1!" Nintendo Nut1 said.

"That's good..." Pikachu replied. He then turned to stare at the chestnut girl, and then said, "It's fine, Bianca. How is it in the art world?"

"Busy." Bianca replied. "Some of the most famous artists in the world have been asking me for lessons in drawing people and Pokèmon."

"Wow, you know this girl?" Pichu asked. He pulled a camera from his satchel and asked, "Hey, can I get your picture?"

"Sure, but it's probably unnecessary. Besides, they made a figurine of me and put it into your Souvenir Set for this leg of the race." Bianca then handed them a blue-and-red striped box with a Poke Ball symbol and watched as they opened it. She then looked out the window and noted, "By Ho-oh's Fire...the island is decimated!"

"It's a long story..." Pikachu replied as Roy, Lilina, Link, Zelda, Ness, Mewtwo, Mario, Luigi, Fox, Falco, Marth, and Sheeda ran up to the world mat.

"Whoa...so many teams...YAY!" Nintendo Nut1 squealed, and continued, "Roy and Lilina, Link and Zelda, Ness and Mewtwo, Mario and Luigi, Fox and Falco, and Marth and Sheeda...you are teams 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7, respectively."

"That's good..." Mewtwo muttered.

"Yeah, I'm glad you made it." Zephyr Analea stepped up to Mewtwo and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. She turned around and said, "I gotta go and start writing again, because my adoring fans wait. Parting is such sweet sorrow; We will meet again, though! See ya!" With that, Zephyr Analea grabbed Souvenir Set 3 (see chapter 4 for details) teleported away from the Museum, leaving a smoke cloud where she once stood.

"Man, again with the dramatic exits?" Yoshi vexed as he and DK popped up behind them. "Seriously, they have got to stop with those..."

"Well, Yoshi and DK, you're the 8th team to arrive." Nintendo Nut1 said.

"That's good." DK said.

Afterwards, Dr. Mario and Young Link and Peach and Samus breezed on through, leaving the team of villains in last place. "I'm actually quite glad to say that you are the last to arrive. You are eliminated from the race." Nintendo Nut1 said. Bianca handed them a Souvenir Set, and they watched as Bowser and Ganondorf limped out of the Museum.

"Well, that was fun..." Ganondorf quipped.

"Yeah, that last decision came back to bite us, literally." Bowser agreed. "But it's been cool to be on the Amazing Race."

"Indeed..."

* * *

I swear traffic lights are out to get us. See, we were rushing to get to school, and we got stopped by several stoplights on our way to school! We ended up barely on the so I can take the SAT's. Now, you're probably wondering, "Why the hell would you want to not be late for school if all you're going to do is just take the SAT's?" Well, I'm off tomorrow (April 22, 2005) and Monday (April 25, 2005, my BIRTHDAY! YAYNESS!), and latecomers have to take the SAT's on their day off! Screwed up, huh? Anyway, if you want to be a co-host on my story, I can't stress this enough: **include the following in your application!**

Penname:  
Age:  
Favorite Smasher:  
Description:

GENDER!  
hair color  
eye color  
your attire  
race  
personality  
any personality quirks

The following Souvenir Set will be awarded to the lucky person who becomes the next co-host:

The _Museo Correr_ miniature  
A Bianca figurine  
Maps of Alto Mare  
A Guidebook to Alto Mare  
The Guide to Alto Mare for Dummies book  
A new weapon of your choice  
The _Pokèmon Heroes_ DVD

Farewell! Until next time!

Gamer21


	6. From Alto Mare to Corneria City

Here's chapter 6 of my _Amazing Race _story. Like I said before, I'm sorry if I didn't update; the computer stopped working and so now I must rush to get this done. Sorry!

**Responses:**

**_Violet Kintobar_**: Well, okay. Don't worry; I don't plan on stopping any time soon. Wait, what?

**_Zephyr Analea_**: Thanks for the SAT and the birthday wish. It helps right here. (Points to his heart)

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: Well, that's good. And OMG, you want to snuggle LINK? Well, you may or may not, depending on how disturbing it may become...ahem...

**_IloveRoy_**: Keep on reading! There's a surprise waiting for you when the teams head for Pherae...

**_hoogiman_**: Sorry. Old habits die hard. And I have more reviews that you, BTW.

**_Anters_**: It's so funny the most serious of critics would be cracking up right now. And enough with the girl thing please...AAAAA! DISTURBING MENTAL IMAGES DISTURBING MENTAL IMAGES DISTURBING MENTAL GYAAAAAAAAH!

...ahem...sorry about that.

**YAY! SPECIAL GUEST APPEARANCE BY TONY HAWK! WOOT!

* * *

**

**Backstage...**

"Let's see...we're going to Corneria? YAYNESS!" Nintendo Nut1 squealed as she ran around the studio, firing a Starfox Gatling gun at everything in sight.

"Whoa! Hey, watch it!" a male voice yelled. Nintendo Nut1 stopped shooting and saw a 16-year-old boy with short, red hair and shining green eyes filled with excitement. He wore a red Hylian tunic and blue jeans, and a gold hat not unlike Ash's hat (the new hat he's wearing in the _Pokèmon: Advanced Challenge_ TV series) was perched on his crimson locks. Nintendo Nut1 also noticed that there were also blue, transparent angel wings on his back (see the _Tales of Symphonia _game for details). "Hey, Nintendo Nut, how's it been?" the boy replied, a brilliant smirk reaching across his features.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"I am LegoMan727 on the website, and I shall be the co-host for the chapter. Come now, Nintendo Nut, let's away." With that, Nintendo Nut1 and LegoMan727 ran off onto the set of the Amazing Race, ready for all that came at them.

"This is Alto Mare, the city in which the _Pokèmon Heroes_ movie was filmed. And this is the _Museo Correr_, a huge and beautiful museum in which the Defense Mechanism of Alto Mare resides and where the central part of the action took place in the movie." Nintendo Nut1 squeaked through a chocolate bar.

"This wondrous museum was the 4th Pit Stop in a race around Nintendo. Teams who checked in last leg have a mandatory rest period where they can eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams. The teams have no idea what's going to happen, so they must only use the clues provided to reach their next destination. Pikachu and Pichu, who arrived at 11:30 pm, will depart at 11:30 am." LegoMan727 replied. "GO, PIKACHU! YOU DA BOMB!"

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__1st to depart, 11:30 am  
__Location: Outside Museo Correr, Alto Mare  
_"Let's see..." Pichu read the clue. "'Take a ferry back to the Hoenn Region mainland and drive back to Petalburg City via marked cars. Then make your way to the Hoenn International Airport and board one of only 4 flights into the city of Corneria...'"

"Teams must now take a ferry back to the Hoenn Region and drive to the Hoenn International Airport in Petalburg City. Once there, teams can board one of four flights that will fly to the city of Corneria, which serves as the main capital city for all of Nintendo." Nintendo Nut1 said. "Once in Corneria, teams must locate the Interstellar Communications building to receive their next clue. YAY! STARFOX!" Nintendo Nut1, as insane as ever, proceeded to pull out a gatling gun from behind her and shot at everything in sight as bullet holes riddled the set, the lighting, the camera, everything she could aim at.

"Damn, watch it!" LegoMan727 ducked beneath the shower of bullets, his patience deteriorating somewhat.

"Well, let's go, and be careful; the island is still in several hundred pieces..." Pichu replied, hopping from cracked slab to cracked slab as several pillars and stones from the ruined buildings slowly slid into the ocean and the nearby canals, sending sprays of water into the air.

"Man, this place is still in ruins..." Pikachu commented.

_Roy and Lilina  
__2nd to depart, 11:37 am  
__Location: Outside Museo Correr, Alto Mare  
_"So, are we ready to go?" Roy asked Lilina.

"As ready as I'll ever be!"

"Good. 'Take a ferry back to the Hoenn Region mainland...drive to Petalburg...board one of only 4 flights to Corneria...'"

"I'm not sure about how safe it is, crossing this shattered island..." Lilina said, staring at the various slabs of rock, concrete and tile floating lazily throughout the watery expanse before them.

"Here. I don't want you to twist your foot or anything..." Before Lilina could protest, Roy had scooped the azure-haired mage up in his arms and started island-hopping through the ruins, jumping to and from the rock pieces. Lilina was blushing furiously and started to wonder, "_Oh, my...is it possible that Roy likes me more than a friend? It's probably my imagination..._' Stopping at the other end of the gully, near the _Il Forte Gelato _Ice Cream Parlor, Lilina thanked Roy, stammering it out, and followed Roy to the ferry station, her face as red as a beet. "Thanks, Roy...tee hee..."

_Link and Zelda  
__3rd to depart, 11:38 am  
__Location: Outside Museo Correr  
_"I should hope that the people will be able to get this mess fixed up soon..." Zelda replied as she languidly glanced over the clue.

"Indeed." Link agreed as they hopped, teleported, and in some cases, swam to the other side of the canal towards the ferry station.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__4th to depart, 11:39 am  
__Location: Outside Museo Correr  
_"You enjoyed that kiss, didn't you?" Ness belted out, referring to the night before when Zephyr Analea kissed him on the cheek.

"I will admit, it was a rather...enlightening experience, to say the least..." Mewtwo coolly remarked, rubbing the area Zephyr Analea had kissed. "But enough on that. We should go to the ferry station." Mewtwo changed the subject, using his telepathic powers to once again read the clue. With that, they had teleported to the other side of the canal before hovering over to the ferry station.

_Mario and Luigi  
__5th to depart, 11:40 am  
__Location: Outside Museo Correr  
_"Oh-a, my god-a, this-a was fun-a." Mario replied, reading the clue.

"Corneria? Why-a there, of-a all places..." Luigi remarked, hopping across to the ferry station.

**Alto Mare Ferry Station**

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 1st place  
_"Man, I'm bored..." Pichu said as Pikachu was bargaining with the Whiscash that ran the station, and got absolutely nowhere with it. "Hey, Pikachu, did ya get the tickets yet?"

"Obviously not!" Pikachu snapped as he tried to be nice with the Whiscash, who stuck his tongue out at him. "Oh, that tears it!"

"Need some help?" Lilina asked as she and Roy waltzed into the station. She then pulled out a Fire tome and used it on Whiscash. The Pokèmon caught fire, screamed bloody murder, and spluttered over to the pool. "Ha-ha!"

"Hey, what'd we miss?" Link asked, he and Zelda walking in as Whiscash flopped out. "And what smells like smoke?"

"Lilina set the station master on fire..." Roy said. "Its times like this that I wouldn't want to make her mad."

"WHAT WAS THAT!"

"AUGH! Don't hurt me!" Roy screamed as Lilina started yelling obscenities and kicked over a trashcan, cursing all the while.

"Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today..." Mewtwo observed as he and Ness walked in on Lilina getting ready to punch Roy.

"Oh,...yeep!" Lilina squeaked as she quickly put her fist down. Roy sighed in relief as she remarked, "Don't do that!"

"She's just as hotheaded as her father, Lord Hector..." Roy quipped.

"Oh, shut up..." Lilina muttered as she readied her fist to dock Roy in the jaw. He swallowed nervously, and backed off from her to avoid her wrath.

"Ay ay ay...man-a, Roy, what-a did you-a do to piss her-a off?" Mario asked as he and Luigi walked in.

"I-a predict a rocky-a marriage..." Luigi said. This reached both Roy and Lilina's ears, however, and they instantly became red at the thought.

"SHUT UP!"

_Fox and Falco  
__6th to depart, 11:41 am  
__Location: Outside Museo Correr  
_"Let's go." Making their way to the ferry station, Fox and Falco jumped across the rocks, taking care not to slip and fall.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__7th to depart, 11:42 am  
__Location: Outside Museo Correr  
_"Ready to go?" Marth and Sheeda then jumped over several boulders in the canal and safely made it to the station.

_Yoshi and DK  
__8th to depart, 11:43 am  
__Location: The Ferry Station, Alto Mare  
_"Hi!" Yoshi squeaked as he and DK walked into the station.

"And then there were 8..." Marth said as he was sitting in one of the couches scattered around the building.

"Man, Lilina, what'd you do to the Whiscash!" Pikachu vexed. "Where the hell is he?"

"At this point, your guess is as good as mine..." Lilina said. "I hope the last two teams don't come in, though..."

One hour later

"Stupid Whiscash..." Pikachu remarked as the Whiscash, black, burned and covered in soot, came in with 10 pairs of ferry tickets. "This sucks..."

"All the teams are on the same ferry and the same flight to Corneria, by some weird fluke of coincidence." LegoMan727 replied. "Once there, teams must locate the Interstellar Connections building on the east side of town to locate the next clue. I hope Pikachu wins the race..."

**Corneria, Corneria City International  
****Mute City 101 from Petalburg City**

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Track Avenue, Corneria City  
_"There's the building!" Fox pointed eloquently to a grey building with a huge satellite dish on the roof. The driver stopped, and they made their way to the front where he saw the clue.

"Get it already, Fox! We have bogeys on our tail!" Falco exasperated, motioning towards the mob of taxicabs behind them.

"I know, I know! I gotta read the clue first!" Tearing open the clue, Fox read, "'Go to the Craddock Terminal on the connecting freeways above...'"

"Teams must now go to the Craddock Terminal above them on the freeways and locate the clue hanging off the roof of the terminal." Nintendo Nut1 said. "YAY! STARFOX!"

"Oh my..." LegoMan727 replied. "I hope you don't do something crazy..."

"Let's go." Falco replied as they boarded the freeway ahead of them, the other teams swarming the clue box behind them.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Fairview Parkway en route to the Craddock Terminal, Corneria City  
_"This is fun." Lilina replied, snuggling up beside Roy. "Thanks for taking me on the Race with you."

"Hey, it's okay..." Roy replied, holding her close. "It would have been not as fun if you didn't come along. Besides, I'm also glad you came to the tournament."

"Really?"

"You've gotten stronger since I last saw you. Hell, you froze my arm for a week when you misfired that Fimbulvetr spell..." Roy mused.

"Hey! That was mean..." Lilina started crying.

"Wait, I'm sorry...don't cry, Lilina, sad does not work for you..." Roy said, brushing tears out of her eyes.

"Thank you..." She was about to lean in and give him a quick peck on the cheek when the car swerved suddenly, smashing them into the side of the taxi. "Yow! What the hell..." Several minutes later, she heard an explosion and looked outside to see that that had taken out a good chunk of the freeway.

"Holy shit, that could have been us!" Roy screeched. "Where the hell did that come from..." He languidly glanced out the window and saw Pikachu and Pichu several cars back carrying what looked like a Starfox Homing Launcher. "Pikachu and Pichu tried to blast us with a bazooka!"

"What!" Lilina was shocked by their change in behavior. "That's no way to treat a lady! Eat this!" She pulled a Starfox sensor bomb out of her satchel and dropped it on the freeway, watching as the explosion took out the freeway behind them, nearing destroying Ness and Mewtwo's taxi.

"What the fuck!" Ness yelled.

"Have at thee, cowards!" Mewtwo yelled as he grabbed a Starfox machine gun out from under the seat and fired at Roy and Lilina. It misfired, however, and struck Marth and Sheeda's taxi, leaving bulletholes on the windshield.

"EEEK!" Sheeda squealed.

"That tears it!" Marth revealed a Starfox sniper rifle from under his seat and aimed at what he thought was Ness and Mewtwo's taxi, but when he fired, he shattered the window and revealed the familiar blonde locks of Princess Zelda. "Oops..."

"Hey! Take this!" Zelda retorted as she removed a grenade from her satchel and tossed it at Marth and Sheeda. This exploded and caused Mario and Luigi to almost fly off the highway.

"_Mama Fancoolo!_ Let's-a go!" Mario yelled as he fired a blaster at them. It misfired right into Dr. Mario and Young Link's windshield, however, and the taxi flew off the highway and smashed into the tall Corneria Tower, sending metal, glass and wood raining upon the city below. This soon erupted into an all-out war between the 8 teams, firing, blasting and exploding the other teams and destroying the freeway and damaging some nearby buildings.

"This sucks..." Young Link said as he and Dr. Mario stepped out of the taxi and onto the floor of the Corneria Tower.

"Indeed..."

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Craddock Terminal, Corneria City  
_"Here we are." Fox said as he removed the clue from the mobile hanging outside the terminal. "This is pretty fun, actually."

"Let me see the clue, though." Falco said as he ripped open the clue and read it. "'Detour. Shred It or Count It...'"

"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams must choose between Shred It or Count It." LegoMan727 said. "Hey, wait, where's Nintendo Nut1?"

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she squealed. LegoMan727 turned toward the source, and God forbid, Nintendo Nut1 somehow managed to hijack a LandMaster Tank and was now blasting all in her way, whether it be cars, buildings, or studio equipment.

"What the FUCK!" LegoMan 727 screamed. "GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE, YOU CRAZY DAME!"

"Oh, sure, I never get any fun..." Nintendo Nut1 replied, jumping out of the tank and landing next to LegoMan727. "Anyway, in Shred It, teams must drive 1.4 miles to the Intergalactic Skate Park, where the infamous Tony Hawk is waiting. Once there, teams must mirror exactly the tricks Hawk performs. If they successfully complete this game of 'Simon Says', Tony Hawk will give them their next clue. This task is physically demanding, but teams with some mad shreddage can finish quickly."

"In Count It, teams must make their way 0.8 miles to the Speeding Comet Toys building in the eastern part of town." LegoMan727 continued. "Once teams reach the toy department, they must do an inventory check of 3 crates in which they count bouncy balls, action figures and toy Arwings. Once they get the correct number of items, which is 2431, the overseer will give them the next clue."

"What do you think?" Fox asked Falco

"Anyone want to tear it up at the Skate Park?" Falco answered.

"Then it's decided. We go to the skat-oh, my." Fox took notice of the explosions on the highway behind them, and he said, "Let's split." They hopped back into their taxi and drove off before the other teams could catch up.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: The Craddock Terminal  
_"Whoa, Tony Hawk's here!" Lilina squealed.

"Man, he's pretty cool at the skateboard. Let's go!" Roy shouted, directing their sights to the skate park.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: The Craddock Terminal  
_"I say we should Count It. We can use our psychic powers to get the total number of items from the workers..." Ness implied.

"Indeed." Mewtwo finished, he and Ness teleporting to the Speeding Comet Toys.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: The Craddock Terminal  
_"Tony Hawk!" Link spluttered. "Hell, we're there!" They directed their sight to the skate park.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: The Craddock Terminal  
_"I would imagine it easier to count than to shred..." Sheeda asked.

"Fine, we'll count." Marth replied, going over to the Speeding Comet Toys.

**The Intergalactic Skate Park  
**"Well, welcome to the Intergalactic Skate Park!" Tony Hawk said as Fox and Falco, Roy, and Lilina, Link and Zelda, Mario and Luigi, and Pikachu and Pichu lined up at the skate rink with skateboards and the like with them. "As you already know, I am here for the Amazing Race. If you successfully copy the skate moves I perform, I will give you the next clue. Because you are all probably beginners, I'll take it easy on you all."

"I hope we're not in over our heads..." Roy said.

"Don't worry, this'll be easy..." Fox answered. When Hawk started the routine, however, several people fell off their skateboards before they reached the first rail, leaving Roy, Link, Lilina, Fox, Falco, and Zelda still on their skateboards.

"This'll be harder than I thought..." Hawk sweatdropped.

**Speeding Comet Toys  
**At the other facility, things weren't much better for Marth and Sheeda, Ness and Mewtwo, Young Link and Dr. Mario, Peach and Samus, and Yoshi and DK. They kept miscounting because the bouncy balls were flying all over the place and literally bouncing off the walls.

"Holy bejeezus! Stop already!" Ness yelled as several bouncy balls bounced away from him.

"This crap is not cool..." Peach screamed. "EEEEK! THE BOUNCY BALL MESSED UP MY HAIR!"

"Oh, shut it, no one cares about the hair!" DK retorted.

"Ay ay ay...this'll be a while..." Sheeda remarked.

**Intergalactic Skate Park  
**"Whee! This is fun!" Lilina replied as she successfully grinded one of the rails.

"I know!" Link replied, doing an ollie.

"Good! You're getting it!" Hawk replied. "The final move is a kickflip."

"This'll be cake." Falco said, performing a 180.

"Good! That's the way! So I need to get...three clues." Tony Hawk replied, digging through a backpack where he kept his skate gear. He then produced three yellow envelopes from his pack and handed them to the teams. "Here you go..."

"Thanks." Roy replied, skimming through the clue. "'Travel to the Drummond Testing Range...'"

"YAY! TONY HAWK!" Nintendo Nut1 cheered. "...oops...anyway, teams must go to the Drummond Testing Range near the Persimmons building to receive the next clue. YAY, STARFOX!" she screamed, grabbing another gatling gun and shooting everything in sight again.

"Well, let's go to this testing range!" Roy announced before grabbing a taxi and riding off to the range.

**Speeding Comet Toys  
**"Marth, I think I got something!" Sheeda said. She then leaned towards Marth's ear and whispered, "I got the number 2431."

"Well, okay..." Marth replied, not sounding optimistic. "But we've already tried 10 different numbers..." He then walked over to the overseer, who had a lit one in his mouth.

"Say, is the amount of items 2431?"

"'Ere." The overseer handed over a familiar yellow envelope to Marth, who eagerly snatched it up.

"Hey, Sheeda! I got the clue!"

"YAY!" Reading the clue, they thus made their way to the testing range.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range, Corneria City  
_"Where's the clue?" Falco asked Fox, who was glancing around the testing grounds.

"I think that's it next to the control tower." Fox pointed to the metal building and saw the familiar green box strapped to the side of the tower. They opened up the box and tore open the clue. Falco smirked a little bit when he read the clue: "Road Block. 'Who's ready for a high-flying adventure?'"

"A Road Block is a task only one person may perform, and no person can perform more than six of them in the entire race." LegoMan727 explained. "In this Road Block, that person must pilot an Arwing through a marked course that runs through the testing range and Corneria City. Once they have successfully completed the course, the flight instructor will give the person the next clue."

"I'll do this." Falco remarked, slicking his feathers back and a smirk forming on his face. "It's been too long, anyway."

"I thought you'd say that..." Fox added.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range  
_"Whoa, who'll fly the Arwing?" Lilina asked.

"I guess I'll do it," Roy answered, hoisting himself into the cockpit.

"Good luck!"

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range  
_"I don't know if I can fly an Arwing..." Pikachu replied.

"Then I'll do it." Pichu responded. "I hope I don't crash, though."

"I should hope not..."

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range_

"I'll take care of this." Link replied, climbing into an Arwing. "How I'll do it I don't know..."

"Be careful..." Zelda warned.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range  
_"Ay ay ay, so how does one pilot an Arwing...?" Sheeda asked, getting completely confused with the many dials, levers and buttons scattered around the cockpit. "Help..."

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 6th place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range  
_"This'll be cake." Mewtwo replied, using his psychic powers to fly the Arwing. "I can already taste first place."

"Don't get too overconfident..." Ness screamed to Mewtwo.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 7th place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range  
_"This is fun!" Yoshi squeaked as he steered the Arwing through the course, plowing down any obstacles in his way and smashing into the other Arwings.

"Hey, watch it!" Roy yelled, shaking a fist at Yoshi. "Are you trying to make me crash or something?"

"Sorry..."

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range  
_"That was easy." Falco responded as he jumped out of the Arwing and ran a hand through his feathers. "I can do that in my sleep!" He then received the clue from the flight instructor, and he tore it open instantly, reading its contents. "'Make your way to the next Pit Stop, the Ambassador Bridge...'"

"YAY! STARFOX!" Nintendo Nut1 squealed as she ran around shooting everything again with a gatling gun. She stopped and explained, "Teams must make their way to the next Pit Stop, the Ambassador Bridge. Known as one of the tallest bridges in Nintendo, this 700-mile long bridge is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in will be eliminated."

"The Ambassador Bridge, huh?" Fox lulled as he read the clue. "This'll be fun." With that, they caught a taxi that would take them to the bridge.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range  
_"Thank you." Roy said as he received the clue. "So, Lilina, what did you think?"

"It was pretty good for your first time." Lilina replied as she read the clue. "We have to go somewhere called the Ambassador Bridge."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Roy asked as they flagged down a taxi and drove off towards the bridge.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range  
_"Yay! We're in third!" Yoshi quipped as he received the clue.

"Maybe because you caused the other Arwings to crash..." DK noted as he spotted several Arwings crashed on the range and in various buildings around Corneria City.

"...oops. Oh well, let's head to this Ambassador Bridge..." Yoshi squeaked as he and DK boarded a taxi to the bridge.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range  
_"Man, that wasn't cool..." Pikachu muttered, looking and smelling somewhat singed.

"Are you okay?" Pichu asked.

"The damage is mostly psychological..." Pikachu answered. His spirits brightened, however, when he received the clue from the flight instructor. "Well, at least it's the Pit Stop..." Pikachu noted as he and Pichu got a taxi and rushed to the bridge.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: The Drummond Testing Range  
_"Man, what's with Yoshi, huh?" Sheeda asked as she treated a bloody gash on her arm. "He could've killed us!"

"Well, at least you're alive..." Marth replied, kissing Sheeda on the forehead. "That better?"

"Thanks..." Sheeda replied as she began to read the clue. "The Ambassador Bridge, huh? Shall we?"

"Let's!"

**The Ambassador Bridge  
**"Well, here we are..." LegoMan727 replied at the toll booth of the Ambassador Bridge. "Any sign of them yet?"

"None..." Nintendo Nut1 replied.

"Well, they're not just going to pop up like that," the presenter replied. He was a humanoid hound dog and was wearing a bright red suit that was decorated with several military medals, and a red navy cap was perched on his head. "You thought they were super fast?"

"Sorry, General Pepper." Nintendo Nut1 replied. "But we still have a responsibility to know where they are..."

"Maybe they're moseying over here..." Nintendo Nut1 said.

"Actually, I don't like ant place where they have mosey as a speed." LegoMan727 replied. "It would be really bad if you tried to go to the airport. It's like, 'Let's mosey on over to the airport.', and I'd be like, 'No, man, why don't we hurry the hell up and get to the airport?'" This received laughs from Nintendo Nut1 and a chuckle from General Pepper.

"That's understandable. If I needed to get to the airport, I'd hurry the hell up too..." General Pepper mused.

"Hey, there's a team now!" LegoMan727 replied, pointing to Fox and Falco's taxi. It had pulled up alongside the bridge, and Fox and Falco stumbled out with their luggage and their passports in hand.

"Fox and Falco, you are team number one!" Nintendo Nut1 replied. "YAY! STARFOX!"

"That's good...General Pepper!" Fox noticed. "What are you doing here?"

"I was sent to check on your progress in the Amazing Race, and I'm rather impressed that you made it." General Pepper remarked. "As a reward, you get this." General Pepper handed them Souvenir set 5, packed in a grey box with the StarFox insignia stamped on the topside. As Fox and Falco tore open the box, the taxi with Roy and Lilina drove up as they rushed up to the world mat, out of breath.

"Roy and Lilina, you are team number two!" Nintendo Nut1 announced.

"YAY!" Soon after, the taxi with Pikachu and Pichu drove up behind them as they bounded over to the world mat.

"Pikachu and Pichu, you are team number three!" Nintendo Nut1 said.

"YAY! We're still in the race!" Pichu squeaked. "We are da bomb!"

"I am glad." LegoMan727 replied, walking away from them. "Well, I seriously need to write more stories for the pleasure of all those on the website. I need to leave, but we will meet again. Good luck on the race, Pikachu." With that, he grabbed Souvenir Set 4 (see chapter 5 for details) and jumped off the bridge, landing on a motorboat that ran underneath, and he drove the motorboat off.

"Finally, someone that doesn't do a flashy exit. That's good." Yoshi replied, popping up behind them.

"Well, Yoshi and DK, you are team number four." Nintendo Nut1 said.

"YAY!"

The rest of the day was rather uneventful, with Marth and Sheeda, Link and Zelda, Mario and Luigi, Ness and Mewtwo, and Dr. Mario and Young Link coming to the Pit Stop, in that order. That left Peach and Samus in a rather precarious situation.

"I am sorry to tell you that you are the last team to arrive. You are eliminated from the Amazing Race." Nintendo Nut1 handed them Souvenir Set 5 and watched them walk off, crying all the while.

"Man, we just wanted to have a great time, and they were just mean..." Peach sniffled.

"It's okay, we're still good..." Samus comforted.

* * *

And that is the 5th leg of the race. If you are applying for the co-host position, you know the drill:

Penname:  
Age:  
Favorite Smasher:  
Description:

GENDER!  
hair color  
eye color  
your attire  
race  
personality  
any personality quirks

The following Souvenir Set will be awarded to the lucky person who becomes the next co-host:

The Ambassador Bridge miniature  
A General Pepper figurine  
An Arwing  
A Guidebook to Corneria  
The Guide to Corneria City for Dummies book  
A new weapon of your choice  
The Starfox: Assault video game

Farewell! Until next time!

Gamer21


	7. From Corneria City to Ostia

Time for leg 6 of the Amazing Race! YAY!

**Responses:**

**_IloveRoy_**: Thanks!

**_LegoMan727_**: I'm glad you enjoyed being the co-host! And Nintendo Nut1 kinda broke into the Starfox weapons armory...yeah.

**_Anters_**: Everything is awesomeness. YAY! BTW, this next leg is in Ostia, Lilina's homeland.

**_tikitikirevenge_**: I know I'm better than hoogiman, don't worry. Wait, hoogiman's a dude?

**Special Guest Appearances by Clarine, Rutger, Klein and Tate from Fire Emblem: Fuuin No Tsurugi!

* * *

**

**Backstage...**

"This is fun!" Nintendo Nut1 replied. She was skipping down the studio hallway in a rather demented matter. "And I get to snuggle Link, YAY!" She then did a three-second freeze. "Wait...someone's watching me!" Turning around, there was nothing in the hallway except for a previously unseen potted plant that sat next to her dressing room. "I must be imagining things..."

Nintendo Nut1 then made her way to the filming area of the studio. She still had that creepy vibe that she was being watched, though. "All right, who's there?" She was glancing around the studio, but she had noticed nothing. She was about to walk off, but then realized something. "Hey...that director's chair wasn't there before...ha! Stop following me!" Nintendo Nut1 pointed eloquently pointed at the director's chair before regaining some shred of her sanity. (Yeah, what sanity?) "I must be hallucinating..."

"You must have rather sharp eyes to see that."

"YEEK! WHO'S THERE?"

"Hmph." With that, the director's chair was surrounded by smoke as it transformed into a dashing 16-year-old boy with spiky, short brown hair and eyes that never stayed one color for long. He wore a random t-shirt, a long sepia leather duster, olive cargo pants, and fingerless gloves. The young man wore a smirk as he announced, "I am superdave, your resident superhero! Well, if you live in Georgia, U.S.A., anyway..."

"Let me guess...you're my co-host for the chapter..." Nintendo Nut1 anticipated.

"Exactly." With that, superdave and Nintendo Nut1 wended their way to the set of the _Amazing Race_, anticipating anything and everything unexpected.

* * *

"Welcome to the Amazing Race." superdave said. "When we last left off, we met with the teams at Corneria City, where Nintendo Nut1 here just had to hijack a LandMaster Tank. _Wait, how come I don't get a LandMaster Tank to destroy all?_" His voice changed and held the quality of a corrosive acid that scared the readers.

"Oh-kay..." Nintendo Nut1 said. Suddenly, superdave had regained his composure and remarked, "Sorry. That was Dave, one of my alternate personalities. He loves to destroy stuff."

"...anyway, the Pit Stop was the Ambassador Bridge, the symbol of freedom and courage here in Corneria City. Teams stayed at the mandatory Pit Stop where they can eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams. They have no idea what will happen next, and they can only use the clues given to them to locate the next Pit Stop. Fox and Falco, who first arrived at 7:37 pm, will depart at 7:37 am." Nintendo Nut1 finished.

_Fox and Falco  
__1st to depart, 7:37 am  
__Location: The Ambassador Bridge, Corneria City  
_"Let's see." Falco replied as he tore open the clue. "'Locate the Private Airport outside Corneria...'"

"How self-explanatory." superdave quipped. "Teams must head to a private airport outside Corneria City. Once there, teams will receive their next clue." Suddenly he blurted out, "I KNOW YOU'RE THERE! SHUT UP!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Nintendo Nut1 asked.

"Sorry. I forgot to tell you I'm schizophrenic..."

"Oh. Okay. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Let's go." Fox replied, flagging a taxi and directing them to the airport.

_Roy and Lilina  
__2nd to depart, 7:39 am  
__Location: The Ambassador Bridge  
_"Oh my, where to next?" Lilina replied as they read the clue.

"I guess its part of the adventure." Roy answered, grabbing a taxi and riding off with the azure-haired mage.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__3rd to depart, 7:45 am  
__Location: The Ambassador Bridge_

"This is fun." Pikachu replied as he read the clue.

"Well, why wouldn't it be?" Pichu retorted as they boarded a taxi.

_Yoshi and DK  
__4th to depart, 7:47 am  
__Location: The Ambassador Bridge  
_"YAY!" Yoshi replied, waving his arms around happily as he read the clue. "We made it this far in the race!"

"And we don't intend on stopping!" DK finished as they hijacked a cab and drove off.

_Marth and Sheeda  
__5th to depart, 7:50 am  
__Location: The Ambassador Bridge  
_"Well, off again on a day of fun and adventure..." Sheeda remarked as she read the clue.

"Indeed..." Marth concurred as they drove off in a taxi.

_Link and Zelda  
__6th to depart, 7:56 am  
__Location: The Ambassador Bridge  
_"Yay, we're so far!" Zelda squealed. "This is so cool, Link!"

"I know, Zel, and I can say we'll get the million." Link asserted.

"I'm sorry, I can't resist..." Nintendo Nut1 replied as she strolled up to Link, grabbed his head and kissed him tenderly on the lips for what seemed like a long while.

"Wha-! What's with this girl?" Zelda fumed. After Nintendo Nut1 let go, breathing heavily, Zelda ran over and clutched Link protectively. "He's my Link! Shoo!"

"Oh, come on, share the goods..." Nintendo Nut1 replied lustily.

"Why you little-"

* * *

PLEASE STAND BY AS WE ATTEMPT TO RECONNECT BACK TO THE STORY. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.

(metal clattering and the sound of glass breaking)

"Take that!"

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF NAYRU-

"Ha-HA! You are beaten!"

SHUT THE (BEEP) UP AND GET BACK TO THE (BEEP) STORY! BUNCH OF (BEEP) (BEEP) IDIOTS...

* * *

"Sorry..." Nintendo Nut1 replied. "Link's just so hot..."

"Yeah, my boyfriend's pretty cute, huh?" Zelda agreed.

"They're scaring me..." Link muttered.

"Well, good luck..." superdave replied as he gave Link thumbs up.

**Private Airport, Outside Corneria City  
**"There's the clue!" Falco pointed out. "'Take the charter flight to the region of Ostia, on the Lycian continent...'"

"Teams must now make a charter flight to Ostia, on the continent of Lycia. Once they land there, teams must make their way to Baez LaGrange, an island monastery on the Ostian seas. Once there, teams will receive the next clue." superdave replied. "_If you don't review, your luck may turn terrible...wait, are those subtitles? I took bloody English at the goddamn university for crying out loud..._" superdave replied in a voice not unlike a rat.

"What now?" Nintendo Nut1 replied.

"That would be David, another one of my alter egos." superdave had regained control of himself. "He's as cold as ice, and he's very sinister and humorous. Don't get on his bad side..."

"Don't worry, I won't..."

"Well, we got to wait now, I guess..." Falco replied. "I hope the others don't catch us..."

3 hours later

"Damn! They snaked us!" Falco spit out as all the other teams boarded the same flight.

"All the teams are now on their way to Ostia via the charter flight." Nintendo Nut1 said.

"Once they land, teams must go to Lake Andréa and take a ferry to Baez LaGrange, where teams will find the next clue."

**Ostia, Lycian International Airport  
****Charter Flight from Corneria City**

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: A small field outside the airport, Ostia  
_"Wow...Ostia hasn't changed one bit...I like it." Lilina replied, as she lay down on the grass and let the wind rush over her face. "Oh, yeah...I could just fall asleep right now..."

"But we still have a race to run..." Roy said.

"Oh, yeah...anyway, Lake Andréa should be that way." Lilina said, brushing off her skirt and pointing toward the east. "Shall we?"

"This is fun..." Roy said.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: A small field outside the airport  
_"Whoa...this place is so beautiful and picturesque..." Zelda replied.

"Nothing like back home, I can tell you that." Link reported. "I could just lie down and fall asleep right now and I wouldn't care..."

"But we're in a race..." Zelda stammered.

"Yeah, so that sucks." Link replied. "Anyway, according to this map that came with the clue, Lake Andréa is to the east." he noticed, holding the map every which way to check for accuracy.

"Maybe at the end of the race, we should do some catching up, just you and me..." Zelda said lustily, tracing Link's chest with her finger.

"I know." Link replied, kissing her before running off towards Lake Andréa.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: A small field outside the airport  
_"YAY! Run around, run around, run around..." Pichu sang as he scurried through the grass as happy as one could be.

"Well, we've still to locate the Baez LaGrange place or whatever it's called..." Pikachu replied gloomily.

"Of course..." Pichu said. "Let's go, then!"

_Marth and Sheeda  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: A small field outside the airport  
_"YES!" Sheeda yelled, stretching her arms. "It feels _so_ good to be back at home!"

"Yeah, I haven't been here so long that I almost forgot what it felt like..." Marth agreed.

"So, we have to find the island monastery, Baez LaGrange?" Sheeda asked.

"Precisely."

"Then let's go!" Sheeda squealed, grabbing Marth's hand and dragging him toward the lake.

**Lake Andréa Ferry Station, en route to the Baez LaGrange Monastery  
**"Man, where's the ticket attendant?" Lilina asked, peering over the counter and glancing around. "They should be here right now..."

"Maybe they're on lunch break or something..." Roy answered as Link and Zelda walked through the glass double doors. "We've got company, Lilina."

"Oh, hey, guys." Lilina waved cordially to Link and Zelda, who sat down on one of the nearby couches. She collapsed onto one of the chairs and asked, "Now what? If all the other teams come before the attendant, we're screwed..."

"Nothing to do but wait, I guess..." Zelda remarked, brushing some of her blond locks out of her face. "We can't worry about circumstances beyond our control, anyway..."

"HEY!" Pichu replied as he and Pikachu casually strolled into the station. "How's life, y'all?" All the teams heard a crash. Turning towards the source, they saw that Lilina had collapsed on the ground. "Did we come at the wrong time or something?"

"Oh, at this rate we'll never win..." Lilina groaned.

"Hey, it's okay..." Roy assured her. "Besides, we got this far, didn't we?"

"Yeah, I guess..." Lilina said, picking herself up and flicking dirt off her sleeve.

Next came Ness and Mewtwo, who were rather distracted because of the many people that were with them. Lilina was about to complain when the attendant waltzed in, glancing about at the many people standing about the room. "Oh my, do you all want to sail to the Baez LaGrange monastery?"

"YES!" all of them shouted.

"Whoa, geez, you don't have to yell..." The attendant gave them tickets for the ferry, which then sailed off to the crumbling ruins of a monastery that awaited them...

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: The Lake Andréa Ferry Station, Ostia_

"Man! We missed the ferry!" Yoshi screeched, stamping his foot on the ground. "This sucks!"

"We'll be eliminated for sure..." DK groaned. However, the ferry was sailing back with the other teams still aboard. "Hey, what's going on?" On the boat, they could overhear protests from several of the other teams, especially Roy and Lilina. "Hey, it looks like they have to refuel."

"YAY! Maybe we can get on!" Yoshi squealed. Indeed, when the station master came out to refuel the ferry, Yoshi and DK were let on. "YAY! We're tied!"

"Oh, joy. This will be a blast, I just know it..." Roy muttered sarcastically, running a hand through his crimson locks in annoyance.

**Baez LaGrange Monastery  
****Ferry #1 from the Lake Andréa Station  
**_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Baez LaGrange Monastery, Lake Andréa  
_"There's the clue!" Lilina squeaked, pointing to a crumbling arched hallway a few yards away. Mauling the clue box, she retrieved a clue from it, tore it open, and read it. "'Go back to the mainland and use the Merrimack-Garrison Path to reach the site of Ostia's annual Harvest Festival...'"

"Teams must now make their way to the Harvest Festival site, 3.4 miles from their current location." superdave explained. "Once they reach the festival site, they must make their way to the clue, sitting next to a rather elegant fruit display near the Merrimack-Garrison Path. _Hell, I think I can relax now..._" superdave said in a somewhat chirpy voice as he lay down on a lawn chair. However, because the lawn chair was old and had holes in the wood, he fell right through it and landed on his back. "_Yow! What the hell..._"

"Let me guess...another one of your weird alter egos?" Nintendo Nut1 asked.

"That was Crash...he's always getting himself into trouble...ow, my back..."

"This'll be fun..." Roy said as the other teams ran up to the clue box.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: The ferry back to the Ostian mainland  
_"Man! That was scary, looking for a clue in that weirdo chapel..." Yoshi replied as he boarded the ferry.

"Technically, it's a monastery..." Mewtwo corrected.

"Sorry..."

"Anyway, how about we form a temporary truce between all of us?" Link suggested. "I mean, we'll tear through this race if we all work together..."

"Yes, but if we eliminate all the other teams and we are left, we would turn on each other..." Pikachu noted.

"Point taken." Link took back his comment.

"But it would be inevitable." Ness remarked. "I mean, if we all _are_ the last teams left, it would be unavoidable and we would eliminate each other anyway."

"I think this truce between us is beneficial." Lilina said. Everyone had turned to her, and she continued, "We would help each other and we can pick off the weaker of the teams. Besides, Roy and I know this place better than some of the others. I would assume the only other people that know more about Lycia than us would be Marth and Sheeda," she added, motioning towards Marth and Sheeda.

"Then it's official. We form a truce with each other." Link replied, sticking his hand out and gesturing the others to do the same.

"YEAH!"

_Mario and Luigi  
__Currently in 6th place  
__Location: The Ferry Station at Lake Andréa, Ostia_

"Man, we're late..." Mario replied, muttering to himself about missing the ferry.

"May-a-be because you had-a to ask-a those people about-a Baez LaGrange with no-a more sense than a baby..." Luigi snapped.

"Sorry..."

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The Harvest Festival, Ostia  
_"Wow!" Lilina squealed. "The festival hasn't changed one bit!"

"Maybe we should have a bit of fun while we're here!" Roy announced, glancing around the festival grounds.

"Why not?" While Roy and Lilina were enjoying and partaking of the sights of the carnival, on the other side there were four people were chatting, drinking cider, and/or participating in the festivities. One was a girl of 16 who had blonde hair and bright, purple eyes; she wore a thigh-high purple dress and lavender boots. She was holding a Mend staff in her hand. Her brother of 18 had similar blonde hair and deep, purple eyes; he wore a blue archer's outfit and had a Longbow strung on his back. A man of 22 also wormed his way through the group; brown hair, sepia eyes, red clothing and a long katana defined the swordsman. The last member of the motley group was a girl of 17 with light blue hair and eyes of the brightest blue one had ever seen. She wore a white dress with blue armor covering her chest, back and shoulders, and wore thigh-high boots that completed the outfit that heavily defined her slender figure. She also had a spear slung over her back. The blonde-haired girl was playing some ring toss when she wondered, "Bro...Klein? Did you enjoy the carnival?" she asked, addressing the archer.

"Well, I came for _your_ sake, didn't I, Clarine?" Klein muttered, leaning against a nearby tree.

"You need to loosen up more...it's not good for you to be worried constantly about something..." the blue-haired girl said, who was playing a target shooting game.

"Let it go, Tate; he can be rough around the edges sometimes..." the swordsman remarked, sipping at a mug of warm cider he had retrieved from a nearby stall.

"I don't hear you suggesting anything, do I, Rutger?" Tate snapped.

"Hey! Calm down!" Clarine protested, wedging herself between her arguing comrades. "We came to have fun! Don't ruin it..."

"Fine. But she started it!" Rutger accused, pointing eloquently at Tate.

Now we turn our attention to Roy and Lilina, who has now discovered the clue box.

"Here it is!" Lilina squeaked, triumphantly holding a clue in the air. She tore it open and read, "'Detour. Climb or Descend...'"

"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams must choose between Climb or Descend." Nintendo Nut1 said. "In Climb, teams must go to the small grove near the entrance to the festival and use a system of ropes and pulleys to hoist themselves up to the decks strung across the treetops. Once there, the rappel instructor will give them their next clue. This task is rather demanding, but those with strength and speed should finish quickly."

"In Descend, teams must make their way to the Tunnel of Roland near the exit." superdave added. "Teams must safely descend the ladder to an underground spring under the festival grounds. Once they reach the bottom safely, the teams must string up a waterproof satchel holding their next clue. _YEAH! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves..._"

"Oh, now what?" Nintendo Nut1 asked.

"Sorry." superdave replied. "That's my last alter ego. He's Edens, a band dork who enjoys annoying people.

"What do you think we should do?" Lilina asked.

"Maybe we should Climb...it seems quicker than to go into some weird tunnel." Roy predicted.

"Where are the trees, then...?"

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: The Harvest Festival  
_"This Lycia place really knows how to throw a festival..." Link noted as he watched several people drinking, playing a game, or riding on several horses stationed around the festival grounds.

"Yeah..." Zelda replied. "I hope some drunken person doesn't try to do something, though..."

"Don't they _always_ try something at the festival?"

"I guess that's true..." Glancing around, they noticed the clue box sitting in front of a rather large fruit pyramid. "Man, if Yoshi saw that, he'd go bonkers..."

"Will he eat it? Probably. Will he knock it over? I hope not..." Link muttered balefully to himself as he read the clue.

"Yeah, otherwise we'd be buried in fruit..." Zelda agreed. "Should we Climb?"

"Meh, why not?"

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: The Harvest Festival  
_"OMFG! FRUIT!" Yoshi squealed as he literally mauled a stall owner to grab a large watermelon from said stall.

"Yeah, you can't control yourself...OMFG! BANANAS!" DK yelled as he ran over some people en route to a large pile of bananas sitting near the ring toss stand. Clarine, the cleric from several paragraphs earlier, took notice and had an air of displeasure around her. "Man, this place is going to the animals..."

"I've heard of monkey business, but this?" Klein groaned as DK was stuffing bananas into his mouth.

"Oh dear..." Tate could only mouth.

"Mmm...bananas...hey, there's the clue!" DK said, pointing towards the fruit pyramid. Yoshi looked up from where he was swallowing watermelons and rushed over to grab a clue, but not before hoarding an orange for himself. "Climb or Descend...take your pick." Yoshi said.

"We Climb. I'm good at climbing anyway." DK said, running off and leaving half-eaten bananas and banana peels on the ground.

"What in Lycia..." Rutger muttered as DK ran off.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: The Harvest Festival  
_"Where's the clue...Pichu, a little help here!" Pikachu yelled. Getting no response, he turned to see Pichu with a large mug of cider in his hand. "PICHU!"

"Oh come on, can't we have _some_ fun?" Pichu vexed as he drank some cider.

"Fine...hey, I think I see the clue!" Pikachu replied, running towards the clue box.

"YAY!" Pichu replied, finishing up his cider. "Climb or Descend...let's Climb. HELLO WISCONSIN!"

"What the hell..." Pikachu wondered. He later got the point when Pichu climbed into a chair and fell out, sending the bowl of fruit crashing down with him. "Holy Articuno...can he be...no way!" Pikachu reasoned as he dragged Pichu towards the trees.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: The Harvest Festival  
_"There are a lot of rather...unscrupulous characters before us. Employ caution." Mewtwo warned.

"I can see that..." Ness turned and noticed Clarine and the others. He asked, "Are they unscrupulous as well?"

"HEY! SHUT UP!" Clarine yelled, shaking her fist at them.

"We could safely assume that." Mewtwo said, noticing the clue box near the fruit pyramid. "Call me crazy, but I believe that's the clue box." Teleporting over, they tore open a clue and read it. "Climb or Descend...I suggest we climb."

"Sure." Ness and Mewtwo had teleported off after reading the clue, leaving Clarine and the others speechless.

"Whoa..."

**The Climb Area, Harvest Festival  
**"Oh...I hate heights...I hope I don't die...help!" Lilina squeaked as Mewtwo, Pikachu, Link and Yoshi was gaining on her.

"Don't look down!" Roy encouraged.

"Too late..." Lilina stammered. She tried inching her way up, but stopped short. "I'm scared..."

"Here." Roy had leaned over the side of the treetop deck, grabbed her by the hand, and single-handedly pulled her onto the deck. "Are you okay?"

"I...I think so." Lilina stammered, hugging Roy out of relief. "Thanks, Roy."

"It's okay..." Roy answered, ruffling her hair slightly. "I'm glad you're safe."

"Thanks." Lilina then noticed the rappel instructor give them a clue. "Let's see...'Travel by horse-drawn carriage to Castle Ostia...'"

"Teams must now make their way to Castle Ostia, the center of government in this region of Lycia." Nintendo Nut1 said. "Teams will find their next clue waiting for them in front of the main gate."

"Let's go!" Roy announced, but went a little too crazy and ended up falling off the side of the treetop deck with Lilina in tow. "WAAAUGH!"

"Oh shit..." Yoshi noticed, watched Roy and Lilina crumple when they hit the ground. "I DON'T WANNA DIE! WAAAAH!"

"Then be careful, for Farore's sake!" Zelda gritted, watching them lay on the ground. "What if they're...DEAD!"

"Oh my god!" Ness yelled. "Are they okay?"

At this point, Klein noticed that something had gone awry and wondered, "Man, what in Lycia is going on? There are a lot of people gathering over there..."

"They said someone fell over the treetop deck!" Tate panicked with her voice full of worry.

"WHAT!" Clarine yelled. "Well, move over! Medic's on their way!" She then rushed off anime-style, leaving a trail of dust in her wake.

"Holy cow, she's fast..." Rutger noted, drinking some cider. "Probably some drunken stiff who thought he could fly."

"OH MY GOD!" Clarine shouted from over yonder. "Klein! Come quick! It's Roy and Lilina who fell over the deck!" This produced several results. Rutger was so surprised by the revelation that he abruptly spit out his cider all over Tate, who drove it off and wiped herself off with a towel. Klein's face had gone pale, and Clarine was frantic. "They're not waking up..."

"Holy Saint Elimine...come on!"

"Yikes..." Yoshi said after he and DK grabbed the clue. "Wake up!" He shook Roy and Lilina, but had no effect. Getting desperate, he grabbed some dude's mug of cider and poured it all over their faces. Roy and Lilina awoke, coughing and spluttering. "Oh, my back..." Lilina groaned. "I feel like I got run over by a train..."

"Try falling 30 feet off the treetops." Link said, he and Zelda rushing over to them. "Man, you had us worried."

"Hey, nothing to worry about..." Roy muttered ruefully, rubbing his temple gingerly. He then noticed Clarine, who was standing over him to see if he was okay. "Clarine? What are you doing here?"

"Hold still." Clarine had held her Mend staff above the injured duo. She was chanting softly, and a bright light emanated from the tip of the staff as their wounds closed up, leaving no trace of ever being injured. By this time, Tate, Klein and Rutger had joined them in expressing concern. "Hey, are you okay?" "Is anything broken?" "How many fingers am I holding up?" "Can you feel anything?"

"WHOA!" Roy quickly stood up and announced, "We're okay, so don't worry..."

"That's good." Yoshi replied as Link, Zelda and DK nodded in agreement. "For a minute, I thought we had a dead swordsman and mage on our hands."

"I would imagine that death cannot overcome Lilina and Roy that easily." Mewtwo said as he and Ness rappelled to their position, obviously relieved at their wills to live. "They're fighters, I can give them that."

"YEAH! CELEBRATE! CIDER FOR ALL!" Pichu chanted, waving a bottle of the apple stuff around.

"Oh, Lord, I think he's drunk..." Pikachu said.

"Hey, Roy, who are they?" Tate asked, pointing to the Smashers. After introducing themselves and explaining their situation, she said, "I am relieved that you made quite a few friends, however weird they are. You are all in a race around the world?"

"Indeed." Roy said. "We allied together for this part of the race. So we should be good for now, anyway."

"That's good..." Clarine said. "Hey, can you take us with you?"

"WHAT!" Klein almost shouted as several interested eyes peered in their direction. He then muttered a little more quietly, "Are you crazy! They're in a race! We'd just be a hindrance!"

"Please?" Tate asked, using her cute face to try and convince Klein. The last thing she expected was for him to actually come along, though.

"Humph...fine. Just try not to get us killed, ok?" This answer had surprised Tate, and she thought she had seen a blush on Klein's face. '_Is it possible that Klein...no, I'm probably dreaming. He probably loves someone else..._'

"In any case, we should probably head to Castle Ostia. The fastest way to the castle is on Primrose-Woodard Path, correct?" Yoshi asked.

"That's correct. Let's move."

**Primrose-Woodard Path en route to Castle Ostia  
**It was 5 hours later that they left for the Castle after a few turbulent moments. (_Actually there were two reasons. One: they had to wait for Pichu to sober up, and two: Yoshi ate some fruit on the pyramid and caused it to collapse onto the nearby Path. That sucks._) During the little tour, some bandits started riding up beside the line of carriages while everyone was talking.

"This is fun." Link said as their carriage was steadily moving towards the castle. "Reminds you a lot of home, right?"

"Yeah." Zelda stuck her head outside and yelled towards Roy's coach, "Hey, Lilina! Are we almost there?"

"We should be at the castle in 2 hours, at the least!"

"OK!" Zelda turned back to Link and said, "Thank you."

"For what?" Link asked.

"For bringing me with you on this race. I mean, it's not the race or our progress I'm happy about, but our chance to be together." Zelda said. "And for that, I thank you."

"Hey, you're welcome." Link said. He was about to kiss her when an arrow darted in front of him. "What in Farore's name...?"

"If this is some kind of a joke, I d-" Zelda was cut off by the sounds of a scuffle outside. There was a frightened whinny from a horse followed by a loud report from outside the carriage. Followed immediately after was a loud voice crying in ringing tones, "Stand and deliver in the name of the Four Holy Things!"

"What on earth-? Are we being held up?" Zelda asked.

"On a path that leads from nowhere to nowhere else?" Link said. "It's hardly likely."

Rutger, who was with Roy and Lilina, seemed to share Link's opinion. "You're dicked in the nob!" they heard him yell. "Lady Lilina and Lord Roy are in this coach!"

"Stand and deliver!" the bandit yelled. "Drop your weapons, or I attack!"

"We've stood, we've stood..." they heard Yoshi yell. "Now what?"

"An excellent question. I wonder if he's thought of it." Link wondered.

"Oh, think you're so smart, eh?" the bandit yelled. "No matter! ATTACK!"

"Now!" they heard Tate yell from the front carriage. "Drive, horse master, drive!" With that, all five carriages sped up and screeched off, running over some bandits and scaring the crap out of others.

"Wha-hey! You won't get away that easily!" the bandit yelled. He and 10 of his men mounted horses and rushed off after them.

"That was rather fun..." Link breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly an arrow pierced the chair and lodged itself in the wall in front of them. Zelda screamed as Link stuck his head out the window and yelled, "We got company!" He ducked his head back in time as an arrow shot through the air where Link's head was moments before.

"Take this!" they heard Yoshi yell. Looking outside, Zelda was in time to see Yoshi throw an egg into a bandit's eyes. It splattered all over the guy's eyes, blinding him. By the time he removed the gooey mess from his eyes; he had collided with a tree and slumped to the ground. Zelda would have laughed if an arrow hadn't whizzed by her ear. She screamed and ducked her head inside.

"It's not safe inside! I'll take them out!" Looking outside, they noticed Klein actually climbing to the roof of the carriage and stringing his bow for battle. "If we are to be killed, I would rather die in battle!"

"Wait!" Tate yelled.

"I would rather die with honor, so don't stop me!" Klein insisted.

"I meant wait for me!" Tate soon hoisted herself onto the roof of the carriage, her light blue hair flying wildly about in the wind.

"I hope you don't get yourself killed..._please survive_ _for my sake..._" Klein muttered that last part to himself as he opened fire on the bandits, spearing them in the arms or legs.

"Wait, what the hell are we doing?" Mewtwo wondered. "We can help! Have at thee, cowards!" He fired a slew of Shadow Balls at several bandits and succeeded in killing a few. "Oh yeah, who da bomb?"

"This'll be fun..." Pichu said as he thundered a bandit and electrocuted him. "YAY!"

And so began a mini-war that erupted between the bandits and our favorite teams. This went on for several minutes until there was a nomadic trooper and the leader left. That's when things got interesting.

"I think that's all of them..." Tate replied, leaning on Klein's shoulder because of fatigue. "I think we don't have to worry now."

"Indeed..." Klein then spotted the nomadic trooper taking aim at Tate. Looking at her, he noticed that she had tossed her lance into the carriage. '_Ack! Sorry, Tate, I care about you too much to let you die..._'

"Look out!" Klein yelled. Before she could react, Tate felt herself being tackled onto the carriage roof. She had slapped him and asked, "What's your problem?"

"Just look up." When she did this, she watched as an arrow whizzed through the air where her chest was just seconds before. "Stay down." Klein was laying belly-down on the roof of the carriage as he pointed the bow in the direction of the shot. He let loose an arrow, and it speared the trooper right in the eye before he fell over dead. "Tate, are you okay?"

"Yeah...but man, I could have been fricasseed..." Tate muttered. "Thanks, Klein."

"I care about you too much to let you be killed by some arrow. But be more careful next time, will ya?" These words caused Tate to blush furiously. '_Wow...why is he being so nice to me? Maybe I've been too hard on him..._' the Peg Knight thought.

"Curses!" the bandit yelled. "My troops are in the grave, dammit! Now what...oh, well! I'll just kill you all by myself!"

"Oh, crap..." Klein said.

"Are we going to die?" Tate wondered.

"Hey!" Lilina yelled from the carriage. "We're here!"

"We're where?" the bandit wondered as the carriages came to a stop. Flesh and blood soon slammed into stone as the bandit collided head-on with the outer walls of Castle Ostia. He lost several teeth and fell off his horse out of sheer shock. "Guh...20 years of tyranny brought to an undignified end..." Link and Zelda were the first to notice that.

"Ha-ha! He ran into the wall!" Link taunted.

"That must have hurt..." Zelda pitied. They noticed that Yoshi and DK had advanced to a familiar green metal box near the castle gate. "Hey, they're going to the clue box! Get them!" Meanwhile, Lilina was caught up in her own affairs.

"Guards!" Lilina motioned to the guards at the front gate. "Take him to the dungeon! He tried to kill us!" She said the last part with more feeling as she clung to her beloved Roy.

"That was some adventure..." Clarine replied while she was tugging an arrow out of her clothes.

"Did everyone get out alive?" Rutger asked.

"We're still in one piece, yes?" Tate answered.

"I should hope so..." Klein retorted.

"YAY!" Yoshi squeaked. "We got the clue! 'Road Block: Can you breach the impregnable?'"

"A Road Block is a task only one person may perform, and no one person can do more than six in the whole race." superdave said. "In this Road Block, that person has to climb the castle wall and successfully reach the top. Once there, the person must grab a key and rappel down to the castle courtyard, where they will use the key to unlock the clues sitting near the main gate. This task sounds easy, but Castle Ostia has the reputation of being one of the hardest strongholds to breach." He then spied a burning torch mext to him and said, "Fire...good..."

"What now?" Nintendo Nut1 asked through a chocolate bar.

"Me pyromaniac. Fire good."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night...STARFOX!" Nintendo Nut1 pulled out another gatling gun and started shooting the air in an erratic manner.

"Well...this'll be interesting..." Yoshi said as he made his way to the climbing area.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Castle Ostia's main gate_

"Can you breach the impregnable...my, my, now this is getting interesting." Link replied.

"I'll do it, but we have to do some catching up tonight..." Zelda replied lustily.

"Oh my..."

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Castle Ostia's main gate  
_"OH! I'll do this one, Roy!" Lilina chirped. "I can do it!"

"Well, well, look at who's the eager beaver..." Roy quipped.

"Come on, please?" Lilina begged. "Don't you trust me?"

"Fine, but if something goes wrong, I'll do it..."

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Castle Ostia's main gate  
_"What does impregnable mean?" Pichu asked, having never heard the word before.

"I think it means unconquerable or something..." Pikachu said.

"Oh dear, then we do have a problem on our hands...paws...whatever." Pichu replied.

"I'll do it, then." Pikachu said.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: Castle Ostia's main gate  
_"Whoa...so this is Castle Ostia..." Ness replied.

"The Road Block says this tasks is impossible...I'll take the challenge." Mewtwo said.

**Castle Ostia-Some random wall of the stronghold  
**"Oh dear..." Zelda said as he began scaling the wall. "This is not cool!"

"AUGH!" Yoshi screamed as he slid down the wall on his belly. "That burns..."

"It's so slippery..." Zelda said.

"GO LILINA!" Roy and his troupe cheered.

"What the...?" Zelda turned to see Lilina, of all people, scaling the wall with ease. "How the hell do you do that?"

"Try using your feet to grip one of the stones sticking out of the wall." Lilina said, climbing onto a foothold. "It gets easier with practice."

"That's what you say..." Zelda muttered, sliding off the wall again and crashing to the ground. "Ouch..."

"Maybe if I..." Mewtwo tried jumping and kicking the wall to form a foothold, making it easier for him to climb up. "Whew! That helps."

"CRAP!" Yoshi squeaked as he slid off the wall again. "Belly burns!"

"This is fun." Pikachu said, sticking his tail into various cracks in the wall and ascending with ease.

"You would say that..." Lilina muttered, climbing to the top. She hoisted herself onto the top of the battlement and started searching for the key. "If I were a key, where would I hide...?"

"AHA!" Zelda said. "I could just use Farore's Wind to reach the top! Zelda, you're a genius..." Using it led her to the top, but Lilina was where she landed, so they ended up crashing each other.

"Ow...Zelda!" Lilina whined.

"Sorry..." Lilina looked around and discovered a key inches from her face. "Ooh? Thanks for helping me find the key!" Before Zelda could maul her out of anger, she jumped off the wall and crash-landed in the bushes. "Owww..." Flicking some leaves out of her hair and brushing mud off her wrist, she made her way to a book with a ridiculously large lock on it. "This must be the clue...aha! The key fits! 'Go to the next Pit Stop, the Ostian Royal Overlook...'"

"Teams must now make their way into the castle courtyard and look for the Ostian Royal Overlook." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "This overlook, which made its way into the hit movie _Lycia_, is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in will be eliminated."

"Guards, please let Roy and company come in." Lilina replied. After everyone joined her, she said, "Follow me. I know where the Pit Stop is." She led them to a small hill near the back of the castle, where Nintendo Nut1 and superdave were waiting. "You are a hard girl to find..."

"Well, at least you're first place." Nintendo Nut1 said.

"YAY!" Lilina squeaked.

"Lilina! I'm glad to see you've gotten first, my daughter!" a loud voice said. Lilina turned, and saw a large old man with blue hair and a great blue beard. He had a large amount of armor on him.

"Holy Saint Elimine...it's Lord Hector!" Roy gasped.

"Dad!...Dad!" Lilina ran up to him, crying and saying, "I missed you..."

"Aw, it's okay." Hector embraced the crying girl. "It really is me, and I'm glad to see you're well. Roy, I give you my thanks for looking out for her." Roy laughed a bit, embarrassment evident in his voice.

Minutes later, Link, Zelda, Pikachu, Pichu, Yoshi, DK, Ness and Mewtwo ran up behind them. "Wow...lotsa teams!" superdave announced. "Let's see...Link and Zelda, Pikachu and Pichu, Yoshi and DK, and Ness and Mewtwo, you are teams 2, 3, 4, and 5."

"YAY!" That's when Clarine, Rutger, Klein and Tate ran up behind them, panting and wheezing. "Hey, you could at least wait for us..." Clarine gasped.

"Well, if it isn't your troupe, Roy." Hector bellowed. "How's it been?"

"OMG! Lord Hector!" Tate goggled. "But I thought you were dead!"

"I was only faking."

"Well, you had us fooled..." Klein replied. This raised a question in Tate's mind.

"Klein, what were you saying before about you caring too much for me that I wouldn't be killed?" A noticeable blush crept up Klein's face

"Well, I...um...you see...I...(sigh)...I don't know if you do still...but, I love you, Tate." Klein replied, going up to her and kissing her right on the lips.

"Klein...I...I love you too." Tate said, her mind full of emotions as she returned the kiss to her Klein. "I always loved you. You are that special someone to me."

"I know. You never let anything get you down, and I grew fond of you, Tate."

"Happy day!" Yoshi announced.

"_Mazel tov!_ (Hebrew for congratulations)" Mewtwo responded.

"Yeah! Let's celebrate!" Pichu replied, pulling out the bottle of cider from the Harvest Festival and 17 glasses. "Let us drink to your health and to your fortune, and to hell with the aftereffects."

"How sweet..." Tate answered.

"Pichu!" Roy exasperated.

"What if you get drunk again?" Link said. But the entire group erupted in laughter as they enjoyed every minute of the day. It was then that superdave grabbed Souvenir Set 5 (see ch. 6) and a spare Souvenir Set 1 (see ch. 2) and announced, "Well, if I know Georgia, there's a lot of people who need a superhero there. I have enjoyed my time; I never did like mushy stuff though. See ya!" With that, superdave transformed into a carrier eagle and flew off with the Souvenir Sets. After that, it was uneventful, with Marth and Sheeda, Fox and Falco, and Mario and Luigi coming in that order, leaving Young Link and Dr. Mario as the last to arrive.

"I'm sorry to tell you that you are eliminated from the Amazing Race." Nintendo Nut1 handed them a Souvenir Set and watched as they walked sadly off the set.

"Well, that was fun while it lasted, but I guess I wanted to go all the way..." Young Link balefully muttered.

* * *

And that is the 6th leg of the race. If you are applying for the co-host position, you know the drill:

Penname:  
Age:  
Favorite Smasher:  
Description:

GENDER!  
hair color  
eye color  
your attire  
race  
personality  
any personality quirks

The following Souvenir Set will be awarded to the lucky person who becomes the next co-host:

The Castle Ostia miniature  
A Lord Hector figurine  
The Divine Weapon, Durandal  
A Guidebook to Ostia  
The Guide to Ostia for Dummies book  
A new weapon of your choice  
The Fire Emblem: Fuuin No Tsurugi video game

Farewell! Until next time!

Gamer21


	8. From Ostia to Pherae

For the love of God... is that all the reviews I got? Eh, bloody hell...anyway, here's chapter 8 of the Amazing Race for your enjoyment. NOW REVIEW, PEOPLE!

**Responses:**

**_superdave_**: That's good. By the way, you will also appear in the finale of the _Amazing Race _since you co-hosted it.

**_LegoMan727_**: I was in a rush to finish that chapter, hence why it was pretty bad.

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: Well, well, your make out paradise might or might not end, depending on my mood...heh heh heh...

Link: OO Good lord...

* * *

**Backstage...**

"Man...No one reviewed, so I'm hunting down a co-host...how lame..." Nintendo Nut1 complained through a chocolate bar as she began knocking on random doors in a small town. "What the hell are these people doing...?" Knocking on another door, it was opened by a 16-year-old girl who, from the looks of it, had been sleeping for a while.

"What do you want...hey! Aren't you that Nintendo Nut person on that fan fiction place?"

"Umm...yes, I am?"

"YAY! I WANNA CO-HOST!" Getting a better look at the girl, Nintendo Nut1 noticed that she was Korean. She had black hair and sepia-colored eyes. Her clothing consisted of a black short-sleeve, a short black skirt; black boots...almost all of her attire was colored black. She also had a rapier strapped to her belt. "I'm IloveRoy on the website, but call me AznGal."

"Well, you can co-host if you want..." Nintendo Nut1 answered.

"YAY!"

* * *

"This is the land of Ostia, in the land of Lycia in Elibe." Nintendo Nut1 announced. "And this is Castle Ostia, an impregnable fortress and known governmental power center here in the land. This stronghold was the 6th Pit Stop in a race around the world."

"Teams who arrived here in the last leg now have a mandatory rest period where they can eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams." IloveRoy answered. "Teams have no idea what will await them next, so they can only use the given clues to locate the next Pit Stop. Roy and Lilina, who were the first to arrive at 7:30 pm, will depart at 7:30 am. EEEEK! ROY, YOU COMPLETE ME! EEEK!"

"WOOT!" Nintendo Nut1 cried for no apparent reason as she spun around like a top.

_Roy and Lilina  
__1st to depart, 7:30 am  
__Location: Castle Ostia's main gate  
_"Ooh, let's see...'Travel by train to the land of Pherae...'" Lilina began reading.

"Teams must now head 4.5 miles to the Ostia train station." Nintendo Nut1 said. "Once there, teams must board a train bound for Pherae, 50 miles away. When they depart at Benedictine Station, teams must locate the Statue of Courage to locate their next clue."

"Well, here we come..." Roy muttered, as they jacked a carriage bound for the station.

_Link and Zelda  
__2nd to depart, 7:35 am  
__Location: Castle Ostia's main gate  
_"This'll be fun...a train ride?" Link asked as he and Zelda was carted off towards the train station.

"I hope someone doesn't try to rob the train, though..." Zelda thought.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__3rd to depart, 7:36 am  
__Location: Castle Ostia's main gate  
_"Working with these guys helps..." Pikachu replied as he read the clue. "Pherae...hmm."

"Oh...my head hurts..." Pichu said, clutching his head in pain as he stumbled into the carriage. "I feel like someone jack hammered my head last night..."

"You deserve that..." Pikachu said as he hopped into the carriage with Pichu.

_Yoshi and DK  
__4th to depart, 7:37 am  
__Location: Castle Ostia's main gate  
_"I'm tired..." Yoshi said on the drive towards the station.

"Well, you could sleep..." No sooner was the words out of DK's mouth that Yoshi fell straight asleep, curling up on the window seat. "Heh, he'll never change..."

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: Castle Ostia's main gate  
_"Pherae?" Ness asked.

"I believe it's a sub-region located here on the Lycian continent..." Mewtwo explained.

"Well, let's go..." Ness said as he and Mewtwo made their way to the station.

**Pemberton Terminal, Ostia  
****Platform 8 bound for Pherae**

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 1st place_

"Well, here's the place..." Lilina said. "But there are no trains here..."

"I found out the train leaves at 10:00 am today," Roy panted, running back from the ticket counter with two train tickets in his hand. "That gives the other teams 2½ hours to get here."

"Oh, dear...at this rate, the other teams will be here..."

2½ hours later

"See!" Lilina fluted fixedly. "The other teams are here!"

"All the teams are now on their way to Pherae." IloveRoy reported. "Once they get there, they must locate the Statue of Courage to receive their next clue. GO ROY!"

**Benedictine Station, Edgerton Terminal, Pherae  
****Platform 4: Arriving from Ostia**

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Saragossa Park, near the Statue of Courage  
_"I love this land." Roy said.

"So do I..." Lilina said. "_Especially when I'm with you, Roy..._"

"Lilina...do you...um...you know..." Roy stammered.

"_Could he be...does he like me?_"

"Hey! There's the clue!" Roy shouted, pointing eloquently towards the Statue of Courage.

"_Damn it...stupid clue box..._" Lilina angrily thought. She opened the box and read the clue. "'Travel by carriage to Botanist's Beach on the shores of Lake Vindross...'"

"Teams must now make their way to Lake Vindross, near the border to Santaruz," Nintendo Nut1 said. "Once there, teams must locate the Botanist's Beach, named for the flora that breeds there, to receive their next clue."

"Let's go..." Roy said. Lilina stayed behind a bit to curse the clue box and kick it over, and then ran off after Roy to join him in the carriage.

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Saragossa Park  
_"Botanist's Beach?" Link asked. "What the heck is that?"

Zelda screamed. "What if there are plants that try to eat us? EEK!"

"Don't worry, I'll protect you..."

"Thanks. I know I would just die if something tried to eat me..." Zelda scooted closer to Link, liking every minute she spent with him.

"Poor little kitten..." Link said playfully as he kissed Zelda on the forehead.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Saragossa Park  
_"OH MY GOD!" Pichu screamed. "Link and Zelda are making out, MY VIRGIN EYES!"

"Oh, for the love of Rayqueza..." Pikachu smacked himself in the forehead, exasperated at Pichu.

"EEK! YOU JUST SWORE!" Pichu screamed as he grabbed a clue and tore it open. "Whoa, Botanist's Beach? What's that?"

"I have no idea..." Pikachu said as he dragged him off.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Saragossa Park  
_"YAY!" Yoshi squeaked as he read the clue. "We get to go to the beach! And there's plants, which mean exotic fruit!"

"Don't tell me you already forgot that time when you had diarrhea and pooped all over the Mansion because of a weird fruit like-" DK was interrupted by an angry Yoshi.

"STFU!"

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: Saragossa Park  
_"I see some hostile plants in this Botanist's Beach place...be careful." Mewtwo noted, using Foresight to see the future.

"We will." Ness assured Mewtwo, leaving the vicinity.

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 6th place  
__Location: Saragossa Park  
_"Yes!" Falco cheered. "We're not last!"

"Of course not, what do you think we are?" Fox asked as he read the clue. "Botanist's Beach?"

"We better be prepared." Falco stated, pulling out a belt with blasters, grenades, machine guns-the whole damn StarFox arsenal, if you will.

"Of course..." Fox sighed as he got into the carriage and rode off.

**Botanist's Beach, Lake Vindross, Pherae**

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 1st place  
_"The clue, the clue, the clue!" Lilina said. "So ho! 'Detour: Plants or Animals...'"

"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons." IloveRoy said. "In this Detour, teams must choose between Plants or Animals. In Plants, teams will receive a guide book on plants. Teams must then search one square of land and locate two plants pictured in the field guide. Once they take the specimens back to the scientist, he will give them the next clue."

"In Animals, teams must make their way to the reception center near the entrance of the park and locate three horses using only their numbers," Nintendo Nut1 said. "If they locate the correct three horses, the receptionist will give them the next clue."

"Well, what do you think?" Lilina asked Roy.

"Let's do Plants, trying to find three horses by number are too difficult." Roy reasoned. "Maybe we should take a break first, though...besides, the forest where we search for the plants won't open for 2 more hours anyway." Roy collapsed onto the sand, exhausted.

"Okay..."

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Botanist's Beach  
_"WOW!" Yoshi squeaked. "This looks so nice!"

"Well, at least there are no man-eating plants..." DK agreed as he read the clue. "You want to do the Plants task?"

"I want to swim!" Yoshi said.

"Go ahead. The greenhouse doesn't open till 12:00 noon today."

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Botanist's Beach  
_"Plants or Animals...what do you think?" Zelda asked after she read the clue.

"I think we should try finding plants...it can't be too difficult, right?" Link asked.

"I guess that's true." Zelda replied. "Plants it is!"

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Botanist's Beach  
_"Plants we should do because it is shorter." Pichu reasoned after reading the clue.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night..." Pikachu said languidly.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: Botanist's Beach  
_"Well, well, what should we do? Do we risk getting eaten by plants or getting trampled on by horses?" Ness mused.

"We could try Plants since everyone else is doing that, and there are more people that'll notice us..." Mewtwo replied.

"Well, okay..."

_Fox and Falco  
__Currently in 6th place  
__Location: Botanist's Beach  
_"Well, we know we're taking Plants since we're adventurous..." Falco said. "But I'm bored! And we still have an hour before the damn place opens!" Falco then noticed a sly smile reaching across Fox's features as he watched the other teams goofing off and hanging out, basically. "What's with the smirk, huh?"

"Feel like pulling a Broadway?"

* * *

"Man, I'm tired of waiting!" Yoshi vexed. He got up from the poker game he was playing with Pichu and DK and stomped off towards the reception center. "Man, are they going to open it or what?"

"**Meet Yoshi, 19 years old.**"

"What-! Who's there?" Yoshi squeaked, looking around for the source.

"**Fed up with life and the way things are going, he decides to rob a liquor store.**"

"Liquor store! What the heck are you talking about, you retard?" Yoshi yelled.

"**But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart. And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...**" the voice finished as the music for Eminem's _Guilty Conscience_ started playing.

"_Alright, stop_!"

"Say what?" Yoshi asked as he turned to see air.

"_Now before you walk in the door of this liquor store and try to get money out the drawer, you better think of the consequence._" Fox rapped as he leapt out of the bushes.

"Fox!" Yoshi fluted. "What the hell-"

"_I'm your muthafuckin conscience!_"

"_That's nonsense!_" Falco rapped as he took his place beside and facing Fox. "_Go in and gaffle the money and run to one of your aunt's cribs and borrow a damn dress, and one of her blonde wigs; tell her you need a place to stay, you'll be safe for days if you shave your legs with Renee's razor blade._"

"_Yeah, but if it all goes through like it's supposed to, the whole neighborhood knows you and they'll expose you! Think about it before you walk in the door first: look at the store clerk, she's older than George Burns_."

"Who's that?" Yoshi asked.

"_Fuck that! Do that shit! Shoot that bitch! Can you afford to blow this shit?_" Falco asked.

"No..."

"_Are you that rich?_"

"No..."

"_Why you give a fuck if she dies? Are you that bitch? Do you really think she gives a fuck if you have kids?_"

"What kind of questions are those?" Yoshi squealed as Fox began rapping again.

"_Man, don't do it, it's not worth it to risk it! Not over this shit; drop the biscuit! Don't even listen to Falco yo, he's bad for you!_"

"_You know what, Fox? I don't like your attitude._" Falco snapped before they ran off, leaving Yoshi speechless.

"What the heck...?"

Roy and Lilina were relaxing at the beach, soaking up some sun and splashing each other every now and again. Roy had stripped down to red swimming trunks, and Lilina couldn't help but blush at how hot Roy looked. She, on the other hand, wore a blue two-piece, and Roy was having a hard time keeping his mind out of the gutter.

"Hey...Roy...you look great..." Lilina said, trying not to offend him.

"Th-thanks, you look nice too..." Roy stuttered, scooting closer to the mage.

"Oh...tee hee..." Lilina giggled nervously as she embraced the red-headed swordsman, causing his blush to become worse. "You're sweet, Roy..."

"**Meet Roy, 17 years old.**"

"What in Lycia...?" Roy started, but was interrupted.

"**After meeting a young girl at a rave party, things start getting hot and heavy in an upstairs bedroom.**"

"That's so not true!" Lilina blurted out, letting go of Roy and shaking her fist towards the voice. "Stop it!"

"**Once again, his conscience comes into play...**"

"_Now listen to me, while you're kissing her cheek and smearing her lipstick, I slipped this in her drink. Now all you have to do is nibble on this little bitch's earlobe..._" Falco rapped.

"Hey! That's a mean thing to say about me..." Lilina said, tears forming at her eyes.

"Stow it, you retard!" Roy said, brushing tears out of Lilina's eyes and getting ready to jaw Falco.

"_Yo! This girl's only fifteen years old! You shouldn't take advantage of her, that's not fair!_" Fox retorted.

"It's rather rude and brash to reveal a lady's age..." Lilina muttered in anger.

"_Yo, look at her bush. Does it have hair?_" Falco asked.

"What the hell do you take me for; do you think I'm some kind of hormone-crazed lunatic!" Roy blurted out.

"_Fuck this bitch right here on the spot bare 'til she passes out and she forgot how she got there._" Falco finished.

"Shut up, vile rogue!" Lilina was pulling a Fire tome out of her pack.

"_Man, haven't you ever seen that one movie Kids?_" Fox muttered.

"_No, but I seen the porno with SunDoobiest!_"

"Bloody hell..." Lilina said. "This guy's got some issues..."

"_Shit, you wanna get hauled off to jail?_"

"_Man fuck that, hit that shit raw dawg and bail..._" Falco sang as he and Fox ditched an angry-looking Roy and Lilina.

"That ruined the moment..." Roy spluttered as Lilina protectively clutched him in her arms.

Link and Zelda met with Pikachu concerning the trip they should take through the Detour.

"So, you can help us?" Link asked.

"Why not? The rules don't say anything about not helping the other teams..."

"YAY!" Zelda cheered.

"**Meet Link, a 17 year old Hero of Time.**"**  
**

"Hey! Who said that?"

"**After coming home from a hard day's work, he walks in the door of his trailer park home to find his girlfriend in bed with another man.**"

"How rude!" Zelda said.

"What the hell's going on?" Pikachu asked. "My god, you have some sick minds..."

"_Alright calm down, relax, and start breathing..._" Fox began._  
_  
"_Fuck that shit; you just caught this bitch cheating! While you at work, she's with some dude trying to get off!_" Falco protested. "_FUCK slitting her throat, CUT THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!_"_  
_  
"_Wait! What if there's an explanation for this shit?_"

"_What? She tripped? Fell? Landed on his dick?_"

"Good lord..." Link said. "This discussion is highly improper. Zelda, you had better cover your ears. I would recommend that you do the same, Pikachu, though I am well aware that Pokèmon do not have any real delicacy of mind."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pikachu spluttered.

"_Alright Falco, maybe he's right Link, but think about the baby before you get all crazy._"

"_Okay; thought about it, still want to stab her? Grab her by the throat, get your daughter and kidnap her? That's what I did; be smart, don't be a retard! You gonna take advice from somebody who slapped DEE BARNES!_"

"_What'chu say?_" Falco had evidently struck a chord.

"_What's wrong? Didn't think I'd remember?_" Falco teased.

"_I'm a kill you motherfucker!_" Fox threatened.

"_Uhhh-aahh! Temper temper!_" Falco was messing with Fox."_Mr. Fox? Mr. N.W.A.? Mr. AK comin' straight out of Compton; y'all better make way? How in the fuck you gonna tell this man not to be violent?_"

"_Cause he don't need to go the same route that I went! Been there, done that... aw fuck it...What am I saying? Shoot 'em both Link, where's your gun at?_"

* * *

"AFTER THEM!" the other teams announced as they charged at Fox and Falco. They screamed like little girls and ran away from the angry mob. DK stood calmly watching, as if he were observing a TV show that did not please him above half, though he made it a point to keeping an eye on Yoshi as well as the teams from Fire Emblem and Legend of Zelda. Ness and Mewtwo realized suddenly that, for the time being, no one was watching _them._ They slid quietly behind a tree and crouched down, eyeing the path to the Botanist's Gate. Two more trees and a stone bench would provide some concealment, but they would have to cross an open stretch of beach to reach the gate itself. They shrugged and began moving.

They weren't even halfway to their goal when Fox and Falco blew past them and ran into the greenhouse itself. "Augh! MOMMY!" Falco screamed as Ness and Mewtwo were abruptly trampled on by the angry mob. Ness and Mewtwo were left twitching on the ground, black footprints engraved in their skin.

"Ow...it hurts..." Mewtwo said as they heard the sound of glass breaking, women screaming and pants ripping. Suddenly a volley of potted plants flew outside the door and shattered against the ground, leaving various botanical samples strewn about the ground near them.

"I told you we'd need to be careful..." Mewtwo said. "Oh, well, at least we can get the clue now." He grabbed two plants and handed them to the scientist. "Let's see... 'Make your way to Castle Pherae...'"

"Teams must go to Castle Pherae 2 miles away." IloveRoy announced. "Once there, teams will make their way to the main gate to locate the next clue. Hey, Nintendo Nut1! Do you have my crowbar?"

"Whee! One crowbar, hold the onions!" Nintendo Nut1 had gone hyper again and was wearing a ridiculous Mardi Gras feather boa and asked in a weird nasal voice, "Don't I look fabulous?"

"Fabulously ridiculous." IloveRoy said. "Now excuse me while I try to steal a pair of Roy's underwear from Castle Pherae." She ran off, but not before donning a black ski mask. "YAY ROY!"

"We got the clue and the map, so let's go!" Ness announced loud enough to be heard inside the greenhouse.

"WHAT?" several angry voices said at once as the other teams rushed out of the greenhouse. Roy examined them with angry speculation, and Fox and Falco's blasters turned to point at Mewtwo. Ness cursed mentally and swiveled his head from side to side, trying to watch the road and Fox and Falco at the same time.

"I told you not to play tricks with me!" Fox shouted.

"But you didn't command him to do anything in the first place." Pichu noted.

"...you just had to ruin the dramatic scene, didn't you?" At this time, Ness and Mewtwo's coach drove up and they hopped in before anyone noticed.

"Well, that was fun..." Link noted. Unbeknownst to them, Roy and Lilina had completed the task while they were talking and rushed off as well. "Wait, what are we waiting for? We have to get the clue, too!" With that, the remaining teams rushed back into the greenhouse to locate the plants.

**Castle Pherae Main Gate**

_Ness and Mewtwo  
__Currently in 1st place  
_"There's the clue!" Ness said. He tore open the clue and read, "'Road Block: Feel like hunting for buried treasure?'"

"A Road Block is a task only one person can perform, and no one person can do more than 6 road blocks in the entire race." Nintendo Nut1 said. She continued, "In this Road Block, teams must search for three keys to open the castle gate. That person will only have three hints as to their locations. Once they find the keys, they can open the gate and receive their next clue."

"Well, I'll do it..." Ness remarked as he read the three clues to locate a key. "'When I grow up, I want to be a tree...' Good lord, this'll take a while..."

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Castle Pherae Main Gate  
_"I'll do it..." Roy said after reading the clue. "I know the castle like the back of my hand."

"You should, you grew up here!" Lilina snapped.

"Fine, fine... 'The eyes see all and all they see, which looking liking the reflection of thee...' ...it must be behind the mirror near that freaky eye tapestry in the gatehouse!" Roy ran off towards the gatehouse and later emerged with a sword-shaped key. "Got one!"

_Pikachu and Pichu  
__Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Castle Pherae Main Gate  
_"Key...key..." Pichu said as he was strolling around the castle. "What does this mean? 'The person you have been waiting for has arrived...' ...augh! I can't figure it out!" He soon happened to stroll by a statue of a person sitting and waiting. "Hey, that's pretty cool...wait, what's that?" He noticed the key hanging around the statue's neck. Pichu grabbed the key and ran off. "That's one down, two to go..."

_Link and Zelda  
__Currently in 4th place  
__Location: Castle Pherae Main Gate  
_"This is one weird clue..." Link said. "'Abstracted life is not what we need...' This is hard!" Sometime later, he passed by what looked like an art gallery. He was browsing at some of the artwork when he stopped at a painting of two people and a vase, all made up of vibrant color and squares. "That's weird...at least the key painted in looks it...hey, wait a minute!" He reached out and poked the painting, which shook the key out of the painting and onto the floor, where Link picked up the key. "That was weird..." Trying not to think about it too much, he ran off with a confused look on his face.

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 5th place  
__Location: Castle Pherae Main Gate  
_"Good lord... 'Out of the grower, something sweet to eat, out of the eater, the key to salvation...' my head hurts." Yoshi said. Walking around, he soon noticed a small watermelon growing nearby. "YAY! FRUIT!" Yoshi swallowed it wholeheartedly. However, something got stuck in his throat, and Yoshi was coughing frantically to get it out. He succeeded and coughed up...a key? "What on earth...oh, I get it..." Yoshi said as he pranced off in search of the next key.

_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Castle Pherae Main Gate  
_"Well, that takes care of the gate..." Roy said as the gate swung open to admit them onto the castle grounds. He and Lilina made their way into the main hall, where the guard gave them the clue. "'Go to the next Pit Stop, the Renfro Overlook...'"

"Teams must now go to the Renfro Overlook outside Castle Pherae." IloveRoy said. "This picturesque hill, featured in the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King movie, is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in will be eliminated. GO ROY!"

"This is easy..." Lilina said as they ran out of the castle.

**Renfro Overlook  
**"Man, when will they get here?" IloveRoy said. "Waiting wasn't on the job description..."

"Well, at least you will meet my son..." an old man said. His hair was as flame-colored as Roy's, and his attire consisted of a royal blue robe and a suit of red and blue armor underneath.

"We know, Lord Eliwood..." Nintendo Nut1 stated, chewing on a chocolate bar. She then noticed Roy and Lilina running up towards them and watched as they skidded to a stop on the world map. "Roy and Lilina, you are team number one!"

"Yay!" Lilina cheered.

"Well, you have done well, my son." Lord Eliwood said, catching Roy's attention at last.

"Dad! Good to see you again!" Roy replied, hugging his dad.

"I know. Here you go, son." Eliwood had handed them both a Souvenir Set bound inside a box of red with the Fire Emblem symbol engraved on it. "Now do your best, my boy."

"Don't worry, I will." Then IloveRoy surprised the whole company by walking up to him and kissing him tenderly. This caused several angry curses directed at her from Lilina, a 'Good lord' from Eliwood, and a smug look from Nintendo Nut1. "Whoa! What the heck-"

"I have to go and finish my business on Roy. But we'll meet again." With that, she grabbed Souvenir Set 6 (see ch 7 for details) and disappeared in a column of light as Link and Zelda run up towards the world mat.

"What's with that girl, trying to kiss Roy..." Lilina spluttered.

"YAY! Link and Zelda, you are team number two! YAY!" Nintendo Nut1 took this time to jump Link and glomp him, but she was pulled off soon after by Zelda, who was muttering little strings of curses. "Hey, I can't help myself! He's hot!"

The day was uneventful after that, with Pikachu and Pichu, Yoshi and DK, Ness and Mewtwo, Fox and Falco, and Marth and Sheeda, leaving Mario and Luigi the last to arrive.

"Mario and Luigi, you are the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you you've both been eliminated from the race." Nintendo Nut1 watched as they walked off sobbing and basically feeling sorry for themselves.

"Well-a, I'm-a glad-a to have-a been with-a my brother on Amazing Race. That's-a all I can say." Mario replied, hugging his brother.

* * *

That's it for leg 7. You want to co-host; you know the drill:

Penname:  
Age:  
Favorite Smasher:  
Description:

GENDER!  
hair color  
eye color  
your attire  
race  
personality  
any personality quirks

The following Souvenir Set will be awarded to the lucky person who becomes the next o-host:

The Castle Pherae miniature  
A Lord Eliwood figurine  
The Divine Weapon, Foreblaze  
A Guidebook to Pherae  
The Guide to Pherae for Dummies book  
A new weapon of your choice  
Pherae: The Movie

Farewell! Until next time!

Gamer21


	9. From Pherae to Yoshi\'s Island

YAY! 50 reviews! And we meet again at Chapter 9 of the Amazing Race. This is fun. This whole project is fun.

**Responses**

**_CronoMaster_**: Hoo boy...well, I'll see what I can do...mweh heh heh heh heh...aw, screw this. If this chapter doesn't make you happy, I don't know what will.

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: Obviously, I added the rapping because I got bored, and I wanted to see what the reviewers' response would be. However, I think I hit it in this chapter.

**_IloveRoy_**: Best news is, you're coming back in the end to snuggle Roy! YAY!

**_LegoMan727_**: I'll try to keep it up, okay?

**_superdave_**: Yep, you're returning for the finale in gaudy Neonopolis. (For details, see my profile.) And you might make a return visit if no one leaves an application for the Amazing Race co-hosting job.

**_Anters_**: I'll try to make Yoshi and DK appear at the finish line, okay?

**I have got to give credit to my mother for helping me with this chapter's subplot. Love ya, mom, and have a happy Mother's Day for all!

* * *

**

**Backstage...**

"Hey, where's the host?" Swiveling his head to look for Nintendo Nut1, there was a 13-year-old alien who was bald, brown eyed, donning a mean-looking ray gun and wearing a black spacesuit with an overly large cape. He was looking around the studio and noticed a half-eaten chocolate bar on the floor, along with several crashed studio equipment around the building. "Oh, well. I, doubledude, will have the dubious pleasure of hosting this chapter of the Amazing Race as best as I can." With that he made his way onto the set.

* * *

"This is Pherae, the land of opportunity here in the land of Lycia." doubledude explained. "And this is the Renfro Overlook, a large hill outside Castle Pherae where the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King movie was filmed. This picturesque hill was the 7th Pit Stop in a race around Nintendo. Teams who arrived last leg of the race was given a mandatory rest period in which the teams can eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams." doubledude finished. "The 7 remaining teams have no idea what's in store for them and must use the given clues to locate their next Pit Stop. Roy and Lilina, who arrived first at 7:21 am, will depart at 7:21 pm."

_Roy and Lilina  
1st to depart, 7:21 pm  
Location: Renfro Overlook, Pherae_  
"So, where to now..." Lilina mused as she tore open the clue. "'Make your way to Durandal Ferry Station and take a ferry to Yoshi's Island...'"

"Teams must make their way to the Durandal Ferry Station and take a ferry more than 2,500 miles to Yoshi's Island and dock there." doubledude explained. "Once there, the teams must locate the Birdo Grand Library and search among shelves of books to locate the next clue. Don't ask me where the hell that is, because I have no idea."

"Oh dear..." Roy said as he flagged a nearby carriage. "Yoshi will have a ball with this one..."

_Link and Zelda  
2nd to depart, 7:25 pm  
Location: Renfro Overlook, Pherae  
_"Yoshi's Island?" Link asked in an intellectual manner. "What would one find on said island...besides Yoshis, anyway?"

"Fruits...beaches...waterfalls...I heard that the denizens of Yoshi's Island are carefree and laid back." Zelda answered as they got into a carriage.

"I expect quite a bit of conflict..."

_Pikachu and Pichu  
3rd to depart, 7:28 pm  
Location: Renfro Overlook, Pherae  
_"I am sleepy..." Pichu ruefully complained as he rubbed sleep out of his eyes while trying to read the clue. "Yoshi's Island? Sounds fun...zzz...zzz...zzz..."

"He fell asleep..." Pikachu said as he dragged little Pichu onto the carriage bound for the ferry station.

_Yoshi and DK  
4th to depart, 7:34 pm  
Location: Renfro Overlook, Pherae_  
"YAYNESS!" Yoshi declared as he twirled around like a ballerina. "I'm going home!"

"Good for you." DK said. "I hope they have bananas there, I'm starving..."

"They grow all kinds of fruit there." Yoshi said as they boarded the carriage for the station. "I just hope they still sell those pineapple-mango smoothies I enjoy, though..."

_Ness and Mewtwo  
5th to depart, 7:42 pm  
Location: Renfro Overlook, Pherae_

"Yoshi's Island?" Ness asked. "Oh dear, I hop they don't throw fruits at us.."

"I should hope not..." Mewtwo growled under his breath as they got onto the carriage.

**Durandal Ferry Station, Pherae  
**"Man, when's that ferry going to get here?" Lilina asked. "It always seems that the others teams catch up to us while we're waiting for something to show up..."

"Well, we could just punch them out..." Roy had already known what Lilina would announce would be unpredictable. With her, one never knew.

2 hours later

"See!" Lilina glowered and pointed eloquently at the other teams. "I told you that they would catch up!"

"All seven teams are on the same ferry to Yoshi's Island. YES!" doubledude announced. "Once they land, the teams must locate the Birdo Grand Library and locate the clue among all kinds of books at the library. How bookish can you get? Where is that place? AND WHERE THE HELL IS THE HOST?" doubledude's patience was beginning to fray. "WHAT IS HE DOING, TAKING A CRAP?"

**Grand Central Station, Yoshi's Island  
****Ferry from Pherae  
**_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Autumn Blaze District, Yoshi City  
_"If I remember correctly, the Birdo Library is in the Noble Fir District..." Yoshi mused.

"You should know where it is, you numbskull!" DK growled. "You live here!"

"Sorry..." Yoshi was glancing around to locate the road to Noble Fir. "I believe that's it." He pointed toward a columnar building and noticed Roy and Lilina running towards it. "HEY! STOP!"

"We're not stopping until we win!"

"Oh, you little..." Yoshi growled, as he shook his fist at them. "I'll show you what's what..."

**Birdo Grand Library, Yoshi City  
**_Roy and Lilina  
__Currently in 1st place  
_"Whoa...this place is huge!" Roy said as he marveled at the size of the main hall. "ECHO! Echo! echo! echo..."

"Roy!" Lilina had smacked him upside the head. "We still have to find the clue!" However, a gloved hand had grabbed her and dragged her off, a hand covering her mouth as she kicked at her assailant. "Mmph, guh...yeek!"

"Lilina...Lilina?" Roy yelled throughout the library, greeted by several yelling readers and balled-up papers thrown at them. "Where is she...that crazy girl?"

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 2nd place  
__Location: Birdo Grand Library  
_"This place is as labyrinthine as ever..." Yoshi muttered as he browsed through the books that lined the walls. The library also had several glass boxes set on tables with fragile legs containing several artifacts from the ancient Yoshi civilization. Yoshi was about to gaze upon a stone pineapple when he was bagged and dragged off by a figure of shadow. Yoshi kicked at his kidnapper, but to no avail as he was sucked into the labyrinth of books and tables.

"Yoshi?" DK had panicked and was now stumbling around the library in search of him. He ended up crashing into the clue box, however. "Hey, I found the clue! 'Travel by taxi to the Super Happy Tree in Tingaling Park...'"

"Tingaling Park?" doubledude asked. "Teams go to something called the Super Happy Tree in Tingaling Park, but what the hell is that place? Damn it, if we don't find the host soon, I'm firing my publicist!"

"Good lord..." DK muttered. "Well, Yoshi will get here soon, and we can leave..." No such luck was on DK's side, however. When he met up with the other teams several hours after waiting for Yoshi, he noticed each team was missing a member. Roy was complaining that Lilina had ditched him and had gone shopping; Link was crying that Zelda was doing the big nasty with another man; Pikachu was scolding a missing Pichu for running out on him; Mewtwo said that his powers were gone since Ness' disappearance; Sheeda whined that Marth had thought her inadequate and left; Fox had reported that Falco had gone AWOL. "What in Nintendo is going on?"

"Who carsh!" Link sobbed. "Shelda dumped meesh!"

"Who gives a fuck?" Fox yelled. "She was annoying anyway."

"You would say that!" Pikachu protested. "She did beat you first round."

"Of a certainty, this is not good..." Mewtwo replied. "Half the teams are missing, and without Ness, I don't have enough power to locate them!"

"Okay, okay, calm down!" DK used an overwhelming amount of force to keep the other teams under control more or less. Something in the corner of his eye caught his attention, however, as he noticed a familiar bronze-haired wolf girl stumbling around the intersection, drivers swerving out of her way and yelling random profanities at her. "Holy shit! Is that Nintendo Nut1?"

"It is..." Roy had grabbed Nintendo Nut1 and forcibly dragged her over to the sidewalk where everyone had congregated. "What are you doing, running around the city like this?"

Nintendo Nut1 was narrating her life's story in a slurred voice. "...yesh and he dumped meesh becaush he thought I wash too flat-chested... (hic) ...but I shmacked him and shmacked him until he shaw things my waysh... (hic) ...I knowsh that he lovesh me now, but fanshifulunicornsh shaysh differtly...I need a plash for mie head... (hic) ...and now, I am heresh, hoshting this coolsh shtory by Gamer21... (hic) ...hesh ash crazy ash I amsh..."

"What the hell?" Sheeda asked. "It sounds like she had too much chocolate. Serves her right..."

"Her breath reeks of alcohol..." Roy noted, sniffing her breath. "Russian vodka, to be exact."

"Damn!" Pikachu said. "That's not any ordinary liquor: that's 90 alcohol! What the hell is going on?"

"At this point, the only thing we can do is head over to the Super Happy Tree." Fox said in an unemotional voice as he attempted to obtain a taxi.

"Hey, Linksh!" Nintendo Nut1 chimed drunkenly. "You likesh thish?" Before they could stop her, Nintendo Nut1 had flashed her chestat Link, causing some of the teams to get a nosebleed and Link to run and hide from the insane host.

"Someone restrain her!" DK vexed. Nintendo Nut1 screamed at the top of her lungs when she was involuntarily mauled and restrained by force by Fox. He told Nintendo Nut1 to stop screaming. Showing no disposition of stopping, Fox gave her a sharp slap on the cheek, and she gasped and hiccupped into silence.

"At least that takes care of that hellish noise..." Mewtwo ruefully muttered.

"Couldn't you help us, Mewtwo?" Link vexed.

"I would help, but because Ness has gone missing, I can't use my psychic powers."

"Now what?" Link balefully asked.

"We'll go to the Super Happy Tree and continue, I guess..." DK raised his hands in defeat and led the other teams to a bus bound for the tree.

**Super Happy Tree, Tingaling Park  
**"This is the place." Roy said. "Tingaling Park...so where's this Super Happy Tree...?"

"I say it's that one." Looking yonder, Roy followed Fox's finger to a tall tree with green leaves, and brown and red...let's say it has multicolored leaves. In the center was a smiling heart; around it in various places were fruits of all kinds, including a juicy and ripe pineapple. Next to the tree, by a cypress bench, was a familiar green box. "If I'm not mistaken, that's the clue box."

"Fine...'Detour: Food or Water...'"

"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams choose between Food or Water. Um...yeah...help?" doubledude was given a copy of the script and read, "In Food, teams must grab 3 fruits from the tree and give to the overseer to gain the clue. In Water, teams must pump _x _buckets of water and fill a 25-gallon bucket to get the clue." doubledude added, "Pretty damning choice, huh? AND WHERE'S THE HOST!"

"Wait, there's something else!" The other teams had congregated around Roy and watched as Roy pulled out a blood-stained sheet of paper. He read, "_If you want to reunite with your missing comrades, I would suggest you drop out of the race._"

"WHAT!" Link said. "Why should we be in last place?"

"P-uh-lease!" Fox said. "I wouldn't get too worked up over it. We still have a race to run!"

"How can you think of the race when we have missing friends and this...this death threat?" Roy finished reading the rest of the note aloud. "_If you don't comply, your friends will disappear permanently from the face of Nintendo! BWAHAHAHAHA! Signed, a dark messenger of the underworld._"

"Now what?" Pikachu complained. "How will we deal with this?"

"This blood..." Mewtwo said as he scrutinized the note. "It looks like Lilina's."

"What! NO!" Roy shouted. Half-formed images of horrendous torture and of what had possibly happened to Lilina formed in his mind as Roy started to panic. Their very vagueness made it worse than that of actual knowledge would have made it seem.

"So, which is easier, Food or Water?" Fox asked.

"Neithersh!" Nintendo Nut1 yelled, hiccupping after words.

"SHUT UP!"

"Fine, I'm doing Food." Fox stormed off towards the tree when a thought raced through his mind.

"_Damn it! He said no one would get hurt..._"

**Hidden Base, Yoshi's Island  
**"Ugh...where am I?" A disgruntled Lilina came to inside a solitary confinement cell padded with mattresses and a bloody floor. She gingerly patted her forehead, and saw a stream of blood trickling down the side of her head. "What the hell happened to me...?"

"Hello!" Zelda's voice echoed throughout the prison. "Can anyone hear me?"

"Zelda?"

"Lilina? Is that you?"

"Hey, what's going on?" Yoshi squeaked.

"I think we're in some kind of prison..." Zelda answered, looking around. "And by the looks of it, I don't think anyone wants us to be in the race."

"_You got that right._" A distorted voice announced. When Lilina, Zelda and Yoshi peeked outside, they noticed a figure clad in a black robe much too big so that no one could even guess his frame. He also wore a dark mask so that no one could see his face, and they would have been wise to try and get a good look. He was now pointing a pistol eloquently at Pichu, whom he removed from his cell, and growling menacingly. "_Well, our plan is in motion. Now who will we shoot first?_"

**Super Happy Tree, Tingaling Park  
**"Jeez, how many buckets of water will I need?" Roy vexed as he dumped his 7th bucket into the steel drum.

"Obviously you'll need a lot of buckets of water at this point." Mewtwo said while he was using telekinesis to pick fruits. "What I can't get is how these abductors managed to take our friends hostage without our noticing. I mean, if we didn't notice, then someone else in the library was bound to see something out of place."

"Yoshi did say there were a lot of bookshelves there," DK pointed out, eating a banana. "He also did say that it was like a labyrinth there. It would've been easy to take someone or something without anybody noticing."

"Then those people are mutton-headed flats." This comment earned several laughs from Pikachu, who dropped the bucket of water in mid-laugh. The liquid sloshed all over Fox's lap, and the troupe exploded in laughter.

"AUGH! MY PANTS!" Fox shouted, bonking Pikachu in the head with a well-tossed melon.

"Aren't they always?" Pikachu asked while pumping another bucket of water

"That was racist right there, Pikachu." Roy's temper was beginning to fray.

"Sorry." Pikachu had continued with his work.

"What if we get there and our friends are dead?" Roy asked. "And what if the abductors find us and kill us!" Everyone soon began to lose hope in the possibility that their friends were, in fact, still alive.

"Oh...we'll be shot to death..." Pikachu said ruefully.

"We'll be put in cement blocks and sink to the bottom of the ocean..." DK wailed.

"No, they'll burn us so that there's no evidence..." Sheeda chimed in.

"Man, you need to think about how we're supposed to win the race with one teammate missing, not how we'll be killed..." Fox snapped.

"You're no help, Fox..." Sheeda asserted.

"Come on, we've got to have faith..." Link said. "I mean, that's what got us this far in the race, didn't it? We still need that same faith so our friends will come through alive!"

"You're right..." Pikachu said. "That's a good way to put it."

"Well, I always was good at motivational speaking..." Link proudly declared.

"YESH! LINKSH DA BOMB! (hic) B-O-U-A-um...what's after G...?" Nintendo Nut1 slurred.

"Her breath still smells of alcohol..." Pikachu announced.

"Yes! I got the clue!" Roy announced after his 18th bucket of water.

"No fair! I wanted the clue first!" Fox protested.

"Let's see... 'Find the Diamond Dust Ski Resort...'"

"Teams will now go to the Diamond Dust Ski Resort outside the city and search for the clue." doubledude said. "I'm sorry; I can't work like this; I will be in my trailer."

"Fine, then we'll dock your pay!" the director said.

"...guh...damn..." doubledude muttered, sulking back onstage.

"Diamond Dust?" Mewtwo said. "Didn't they film the movie _Avalanche _there?"

"Yep." DK said in answer to Mewtwo's question. "Some of the scenes in the caves were filmed in carved-out grottos hidden by ice doors in various parts of the mountain. Wait, you don't think..."

"I do." Mewtwo responded. "Find these grottoes, we find our friends."

"Let's go then." With the other teams already receiving their clues, the troupe made their way to the Diamond Dust Ski Resort, anxiously awaiting the reunion with their missing friends. "Keep fighting, Yoshi...we'll be there."

**Hidden Base, Diamond Dust Ski Resort  
**The figure was pacing around the room impatiently, a small white cat in his arms purring loudly. His bodyguard and another figure was standing guard beside the door, and the figure was obviously occupied because a troubling fact was on his mind. "How will we take care of this thing...?"

"If you keep going on like that, you're going to wear a hole in the linoleum..." the first bodyguard reported. "Why not shoot them?"

"Shut up! I don't want anyone to get hurt or killed!" the boss snapped, brusquely shoving the guard. "When you said your plan would work, you said no one would get hurt! But here comes Lilina, all bruised up, the delicate little thing. Damn it, that wasn't what I wanted!"

"Hey, _you _two were the ones that wanted to win the whole enchilada..."

"I thought the prize was $1,000,000, not an enchilada..." the boss spoke.

"Oh, shut up. Anyway, you are going to win this race at all costs." the guard finished. "And if we have to break some necks along the way, then so be it."

"You are an evil man..." the boss said.

"Hey, I'm not the one who thinks of Lilina as their lust object..." The boss was about ready to jump the guard when he said that. "We'll do what we have to to win, right?" The guard had addressed the second guard, who was considerably shorter than the first.

"Beep beep beep beep beep, beep BEEP!"

"...that doesn't help us any..." the boss continued, pacing around the room worriedly.

(Anyone who doesn't know who that is would be thought of as an ignoramus.)

**Cell Block A, Diamond Dust Base  
**"Oh..." Zelda was worried and sitting on a flimsy board of a bed and wondered, "Do you think that anyone cares that we're gone...?"

"Of course they would...wouldn't they?" Yoshi asked.

"What if they left us here...because they hate us?" Pichu sniffled. Everyone looked horrified and turned towards him. He continued, "I always had Pikachu's nerves shot when I was around. What if they all left us here?"

"They wouldn't." The kidnapped Smashers turned as best as they could towards Lilina. "Everyone knows us and loves us, right? Why else would they have chosen us to come along with them? They could have gone with someone else, for all we know, but they allowed us to come along with them on their journey."

"We've gotten too far for us to just give up now," Marth agreed. "I am confident that they are on their way to saving us right at this minute."

"Thanks...I'm sorry we doubted them..." Yoshi said.

"It's okay, we would have given up too if there was no chance..." Following that statement, there was nothing but the gold of silence for several uneasy minutes. Then Pichu, as innocent as ever, soon broke the ice and asked, "Lilina, is it true that you have a crush on Roy?"

"Eek! Um...no, we're just friends!" Lilina stammered out.

Ness overheard and decided to poke fun at her. "My mind's eye says that you wish for him to love you and be together forever with you..."

"SHUT UP!" This caused the cell block to explode in laughter, with Lilina stammering protests all the while.

**Diamond Dust Ski Resort, Yoshi's Island  
**"Okay, keep your eyes peeled for anything suspicious..." Mewtwo warned.

"Keep your eyes peeled? That would hurt!" Pikachu said.

"Shut it, no one need a smartass right now." Glancing around, there was a European ski chalet, some skiers, and a few snowboarders, but otherwise there was nothing out of the ordinary. Eyeing the clue box sitting on top of a snowdrift, Mewtwo had teleported over and read the clue. "'Road Block. Who's ready to fly to new heights?'"

"A Road Block is a task only one person may perform, and no one person can do more than 6 in the course of the race." doubledude explained. "In this Road Block, the person must go off of a ski jump and perform a 1080º. Once that person has successfully done that, the ski instructor will give them the next clue."

"Hoo boy..." Mewtwo spluttered. "I'm really not good with heights..."

"So?" Nintendo Nut1 said. "It (hic) doesh you no goosh (hic) if you runnsh from your problemsh... (hic)"

"That actually made sense, coming from you..."

"So, do you have any idea where our friends could be in this ski resort?" Roy asked.

"None at all."

"Maybe we can spot something airborne while we're doing the ski jump..." DK said, pointing towards the back of the ski chalet where several skiers were tossing themselves into the blue beyond. "The more height we have, the more we can see, right?"

"Ah yes, the old angle of observation theory..." Marth noted. "Different angles prove to make things appear differently. Like a cone could be a circle, a Penrose triangle, or a square depending on your point of view..." Everyone goggled at him and he merely asked, "What?"

"Man, my head hurts..." DK was massaging his forehead to help soothe the pain. "Stop using big words I can't understand..."

"If we keep wagging our tongues, we'll not be able to save our friends!" Link snapped. "Let's just go already!"

**The Ski Jump  
**"Here goes nothing...geronimo!" Link pushed himself off and felt the rush of adrenaline take over as he flew off the jump and into the air. After quickly performing a 1080°, he quickly glanced around for anything unusual and plopped headfirst into the fresh white powder. He finally broke out of the white prison and spit out the icy stuff. "Man, that wasn't cool..."

Things weren't any better for the other people. Roy bounced off the jump and crashed into a bystander; DK was too heavy and smashed a hole through the ski jump; Pikachu fell through aforementioned hole; Sheeda glided and fell off the edge; Mewtwo tripped and flew off into the forest; and Fox had swerved off the ramp and into a tree growing beside the ramp.

"Fear comes upon me. O much I fear, some ill, unthrifty thing."

"WHEE! I HAF DA POWAAAA!" Link looked up in time to watch Nintendo Nut1 fly off the ski jump and watched her pull several 1080°s and string them together. No problem, right? Wrong! She immediately blew past the bordering fence and over the evergreens, where Mewtwo was hanging on for dear life, and continued flying out of sight.

"(hic) YEEEK! I HAF TOO MUSH POWAAAA! (hic) " Following her outburst was a large SLAM immediately with a loud noise of shattering glass.

"Oh my god! What was that?" the boss said.

"Don't tell me we've already been found!" the first guard spluttered. "What's going on here? Someone get those perpetrators!"

"BEEP BEEP BEEP!" the second guard ordered.

"What the hell...follow her! Come on!" Link yelled.

"Do I have to?" Fox retorted.

"Shut up and come on!" Running along Nintendo Nut1's flight path, they sliced their way through the evergreen forest and soon into the side of the mountain. Nintendo Nut1 was buried headfirst in the snow, and behind her was a large mouth of rock and limestone that was beckoning them to come in. Besides it was huge pieces of shiny ice that glistened in the sunlight. Link and the others stood, mouths agape at what they saw. "So, who wants to go into the creepy cave behind the giant ice sheet first?"

"Go ahead, Sheeda-you're the bravest!" Pikachu pushed Sheeda as far as his tiny frame would let him-and it wasn't very far.

"Don't push!" Sheeda yelled. "I'm going in...any time now...I will go inside..." It was a full half-hour before Sheeda finally had the guts to walk inside along with the other teams. Reaching the interior chamber, they reached a small gym, a kitchen, and finally after some walking found a prison area where their friends were being held.

"Roy!" Lilina shouted. "I knew you'd save me!"

"Damn!" Fox muttered. "This wasn't supposed to happen!" Before he realized what he said, all the people, free and in the cells, turned and looked at Fox as if he had suddenly sprouted two heads. "Why are you looking at-oh, crap..."

"Is there something you'd like to tell us?" Sheeda asked.

"He and Falco hired us to kidnap one person from each team and off them so they could win." Before they knew what was going on, streams of bullets gushed forth from a door on the other side of the room. The teams had to jump behind a steel crate as the two guards stepped out wielding Steyr TMPs. "We will make sure they will be the victors."

"I never said to off them!" the boss yelled from the other room.

"Shut your beak, Falco, or you and I are going to scrap!" the guard yelled.

"Beep beep beep beep!" the second guard yelled.

"Wait, was that Game & Watch?" Link inquired. He hardly had time to look though, as a hail of bullets rushed through the air where his head was minutes before.

"Ha-ha! Show us your moves!"

"Augh! It's Captain Falcon!" Pikachu realized. "Damn! He must have been so pissed off for losing first leg that he came back for revenge!"

"Yes, and my thirst for revengeange is here! HAHAHAHAHA!" He soon opened fire again at them. "That prize money is rightfully mine, and I'll make sure of that!"

"What the hell do we do?" No sooner than Link had said that, Fox produced a gas grenade from up his sleeve. "This knockout gas grenade is quick-acting and has no lasting side effects." He lobbed the grenade into the center of the room, and the gas permeated every inch of the prison chambers. Fox, Link, Sheeda, Mewtwo, DK, and Roy stepped out moments later to see Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch slump to the floor asleep. Falco chose this moment to come out of hiding and silently and quickly opened the cell doors, releasing everyone to their teammates.

"Oh, Roy! I'm so happy you came!" Lilina choked through sobs.

"It's okay, I'm here..." Roy comforted.

"Hey, we didn't want anyone to get hurt, right?" Falco said. "We just wanted to win, and we apologize for our actions..."

"Fine, just don't do it again..." Link gasped as Zelda hugged him tightly.

"HAHA!" Suddenly, Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch sprang to life, grabbed Yoshi, and picked up a spare snowmobile that was sitting there, taking up space. "You will not win!" With the engine revving, Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch sped off into the bleak, snowy wastes.

"YOSHI!" DK yelled. "Now what?"

"It's our fault that all this crap happened, so we'll be the ones to get him back." Fox and Falco hopped onto a snowmobile, revved it up, grabbed their blasters, and sped off after the devious F-Zero racer. "Let's tear it up, Fox!"

"Hurry, Game & Watch! Fox and Falco are gaining!" Captain Falcon screeched as they sped down the highway. Fox and Falco were driving and gaining behind them as they drove at dangerous speeds through the wooded area near the Diamond Dust Ski Resort. They were dodging tree stumps, rocks, and the occasional deer who had the 'deer in the headlights' look on him.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!" Mr. Game & Watch was frantic as they dodged another log.

Fox and Falco were currently having their own problems. "How do you speed up on this thing?" Fox asked.

"We're already at top speed!" Falco yelled. However, they caught up to Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch and they were side to side with them. Captain Falcon had other plans, however, and riddled the nearby trees with bullets from the machine pistol as Fox and Falco had to duck under the hail to escape. "EEK! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!"

"So, that's the way you want to play, huh? Take this!" Falco screeched over to the side, hitting the F-Zero racers' skidoo and forcing them into a log. "HAHA! Try and beat us!"

"Bloody hell..." Captain Falcon muttered. "It's not over yet!"

Falco yelled through a cold sweat, "Only one of us is gonna win, Falcon! Who will it be?"

"I'll be the one to kill you!" Captain Falcon shouted.

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! TWO CARS ARE GOING TO CRASH INTO THE RESORT!" some people screamed throughout the resort. This caught the attention of the other skiers, who began to panic.

"Yeah, right! This is for manipulating us!" Falco finished. With that, he grabbed Yoshi off of the racer's skidoo and forced the back of his skidoo into Captain Falcon's skidoo, sending it rolling over on the snow banks before flipping over the cliff and crashing upside-down in the ski chalet, scaring the crap out of several people. Shingles, glass, wood and various crap rained down on the inhabitants of the chalet. The skidoo landed unceremoniously in the fireplace, exploding and destroying a huge piece of the chalet, sending Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch flying into the atmosphere.

"I'LL REMEMBER THIS!" Captain Falcon yelled as Mr. Game & Watch beeped frantically before disappearing and becoming stars.

"I knew he was all talk and no action." Fox quipped as the other teams caught up to them.

"That was nice..." Link said. "We have to continue the race, though!"

* * *

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: Diamond Dust Ski Resort  
_"Thank you." DK said as he received the clue from the ski instructor. "'Make your way to the next Pit Stop, the Yoshi Fountain...'"

"Teams must go to the Yoshi Fountain, which is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race." doubledude said. "The last team in is eliminated, blah blah blah. Now leave me alone!"

"What about her?" Yoshi pointed to Nintendo Nut1, who was stumbling around and tripped and fell into a barrel. "Should we leave her?"

"Meh, probably not..." DK said. He hoisted Nintendo Nut1 out of said barrel and dragged her off with them.

"Hey! (hic) Let meesh go, you crashy apesh!" Nintendo Nut1 protested.

"SHUT UP!"

**Yoshi Fountain, Yoshi City  
**"Man, where is everybody?" doubledude asked.

"Maybe they're asleep?" a pink egg-spitting creature asked while adjusting her large bow perched atop her head.

"Just askin', yeesh..." No sooner had he asked that Yoshi and DK drove up with Nintendo Nut1 in tow. They made their way to the world mat, but Nintendo Nut1 collapsed and yelled, "YAYSH! (hic) I'm the firsht to arrivesh! I winsh the millionsh!"

"Shut up!" DK was annoyed enough to smack Nintendo Nut1 upside the head. Once he did that, she stumbled around and blinked, glancing around as she began to panic.

"Hey, where am I...and why do I feel like someone was hammering my head all day..." Nintendo Nut1 held her head and realized, "Oh crap! I'm supposed to host with doubledude! I'm late! YEEK!"

"Um, I'm doubledude." doubledude introduced himself. "And the chapter is almost over, thank you very much."

"OH NO! WHAT THE HELL HAVE I BEEN DOING!" Nintendo Nut1 screamed.

"You ingested a piece of Russian chocolate and got drunk from the vodka inside it..." Yoshi explained. "Oh, hey Birdo. How's life?"

"It's good." The pink creature answered. "Here you go." Birdo gave them the Souvenir Set, with the Yoshi print design on it. "I think you want this."

"Oh, man, I'm underage!" Nintendo Nut1 protested. "That's the last time I let fancifulunicorn hand me a Russian chocolate bar!"

"You got that right, you drunken toff!" doubledude said as he grabbed Souvenir Set 7 (see ch. 8 for details.). A mother ship appeared overhead and he disappeared into the UFO, but not before shouting, "Farewell, Nintendo Nut1! We will meet again when you're not so drunk!"

"Shut up!" After that, Link and Zelda, Pikachu and Pichu, Ness and Mewtwo, Roy and Lilina, and Marth and Sheeda dropped by and left in that order, leaving Fox and Falco between the rock and a hot place.

"Fox and Falco, because of your dishonorable actions today, you are disqualified from the Amazing Race!" Nintendo Nut1 announced, shoving Souvenir Set 8 in their hands before shooing them off.

"Damn, that's what we get for pulling crap like that..." Falco muttered.

* * *

That's it for leg 8. You want to co-host; you know the drill:

Penname:  
Age:  
Favorite Smasher:  
Description:

GENDER!  
hair color  
eye color  
your attire  
race  
personality  
any personality quirks

The following Souvenir Set will be awarded to the lucky person who becomes the next co-host:

The Yoshi Fountain miniature  
A Birdo figurine  
A golden Yoshi egg  
A Guidebook to Yoshi's Island  
The Guide to Yoshi's Island for Dummies book  
A new weapon of your choice  
the Yoshi's Island 64 video game

Farewell! Until next time!

Gamer21


	10. From Yoshi\'s Island to DK Isle

Oh dear...here is chapter 10. Now things get harder for me because I want all these teams to win, but if I eliminate one then some other dude or dudette will protest...this is too much! Good lord, how will I get out of this one...

**Responses:**

**_CronoMaster_**: Thanks. Now how do I make this good...you'll see.

**_luigifan2234_**: There's a surprise waiting for you when we reach Rogueport...

**_ShadowHawkX3_**: There's a surprise waiting for you when we reach Toad Town...

**_Anters_**: That's good.

**_LegoMan727_**: Good lord, now what?

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: Man, with all these different teams, I will need to find out how to figure out who will be first...what will you do if Link and Zelda don't come in first?

Also, you might have noticed the weird messages for IloveRoy and superdave about the coming back...to elaborate, all the authors and reviewers who left an application and were chosen to co-host the Amazing Race are coming back in the double-length story finale of the Amazing Race released sometime in June. (That is if my computer doesn't act up again.) WOOHOO! GO FOR THE GOLD, TEAMS!

* * *

**Backstage...**

"Oh...my aching head...stupid Russian chocolate..." Nintendo Nut1 grumbled. "This is going to hurt..."

"Here...this should help." a 15-year-old girl replied, handing Nintendo Nut1 a hangover curing pill. Taking a closer look, she noted that the girl was of Mexican descent, with brownish-black hair and piercing eyes of sepia. Clad in a white top, black jacket, black capris, and black shoes, she looked imposing even without the lead pipe and the Uzi. "It helps."

"And you are...?"

"I am called Anase the Shadow Alchemist by everyone I know and on the website." the girl announced. "So, are you ready to begin this little race?" She grabbed Nintendo Nut1 and dragged her to the set, awaiting the start of it all...

* * *

"This is Yoshi's Island, an idyllic paradise that makes it a perfect place to get away from it all, whether it is to remember or to forget." Nintendo Nut1 said. "And this is Yoshi's Fountain, a cute little fountain that supplies Yoshi's Island with a beautiful backdrop and a quiet place to relax. This quintessential fountain of tranquility was the 8th Pit Stop in a race around the world."

"Teams who checked in last leg of the race obtained a mandatory rest period where they can eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams." Anase the Shadow Alchemist replied. "They have no idea what is in store for them next leg, and must use the system of clues to locate the next Pit Stop. Yoshi and DK, who arrived at 9:25 am, will depart at 9:25 pm."

_Yoshi and DK  
1st to depart, 9:25 pm  
Location: The Yoshi Fountain, Yoshi City  
_"So, what does the world have in store today..." Yoshi mused as he tore open the clue. "'Make your way to the Hydrangea Bridge near Pineapple Bay...'"

"Teams must now make their way to the Hydrangea Royal Bridge, spanning the length of Pineapple Bay, and make their way to the support tower of the bridge in order to receive the next clue." Nintendo Nut1 explained.

"I love this race." With that Yoshi and DK made their way to the lane and flagged down a taxi. There was only one worry on Yoshi's mind, though.

_What will the world throw at us this time?_

_Link and Zelda  
2nd to depart, 9:31 pm  
Location: The Yoshi Fountain  
_"Oh dear, what will happen to us today, I suppose?" Zelda sighed as she tore open the clue and read it. "So what's next?"

"Nothing that will harm my little kitten, I hope?" Link brushed back a few stray strands of hair from Zelda's face.

"Link!" she squeaked as they got into the taxi and rode off.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
3rd to depart, 9:43 pm  
Location: The Yoshi Fountain_  
"Yay! I want to go to the bridge!" Pichu said. "CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE CAN WE?"

"Be quiet!" Pikachu vexed as they got into the taxi. "We're already on the way, anyhow."

"Yay!"

_Marth and Sheeda  
4th to depart, 9:46 pm  
Location: The Yoshi Fountain  
_"This will be good..." Marth said to himself as he mulled over the clue. "Some bridge is where we're supposed to go to."

"Well, let's go!" Sheeda grabbed Marth's wrist and ran off to the taxi station nearby, driving off in one minutes later.

"MARTH-SAMA!" Anase blurted out off-stage.

**The Hydrangea Bridge, Pineapple Bay**  
_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place  
_"Oh dear, this could be somewhat damning..." DK said as he marveled at the sheer size of the bridge.

"Yep..." Yoshi then took notice of the clue box and read the clue within. "'Detour: Up or Down...'"

"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons." Anase the Shadow Alchemist had announced. "In this Detour, the tasks are part of some extreme sports that the Islanders enjoy. In Up, teams must use a rappel system to ascend more than 250 feet into the air and onto the top of the suspension tower. Once they reach the top, they will get their next clue. In Down, teams must leap off the bridge's overlook and fall 100 feet into the waters of Pineapple Bay below. In the water, teams must then swim to a nearby buoy and grab the next clue before the speedboat will come and pick them up."

"I say we should do Down, it's much faster." DK reasoned.

"Good idea. Now where is the overlook...?"

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: The Hydrangea Bridge, Yoshi City  
_"Good lord, who knew a bridge like this existed?" Link asked as he tried to see the top. "I can't even see the top of the bridge, for crying out loud..."

"Man, the clue's not too good either..." Zelda said. "Do you want to climb 250 feet or fall 100?"

"Crap...I'd rather climb than fall..."

"Then it's settled. To the support tower!"

_Yoshi and DK  
__Currently in 1st place  
__Location: The bay underneath the Hydrangea Bridge  
_"Thank you." Yoshi said as he read the clue. "'Go to the Watermelon Ferry Station and make your way to DK Isle...'"

"Teams must now make their way 250 miles by boat to DK Isle." Nintendo Nut1 said. "Once there, teams must locate the Congo Jungle and search through 150 square feet of foliage to locate their next clue."

"Yes! I'm coming home!" DK announced as he jacked a taxi and rushed off to the ferry station.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: The Hydrangea Bridge  
_"Gulp! We have to jump off here!" Pichu panicked. "Life's too short..."

"Oh, grow up!" Pikachu scowled as he pushed the poor Pokèmon off the bridge screaming his lugs out.

"AUGH! MOMMY!"

_Roy and Lilina  
5th to depart, 10:25 pm  
Location: The Hydrangea Bridge  
_"Oh, dear St. Elimine..." Lilina gulped as she stumbled and looked down on the roadway below. The cars looked like toys, and the azure-haired mage began to panic. "Yeek! H-h-help!"

"I told you not to look down!" Roy yelled a few feet above her. "Just stay focused!"

"I can't! What if I fall and die? What if I-" Lilina never finished the protest because Roy had pulled her close and helped her up the rest of the way onto the support tower. "Roy..."

"It's okay, we're up here safe and sound." Roy comforted.

"I hope so..." Lilina squeaked while clutching her Roy.

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: The bay underneath the Hydrangea Bridge_  
"Good lord...that was rather exhilarating..." Link said as he and Zelda had dried themselves off.

"Indeed..." Zelda remarked. "So where's the clue?"

"I thought you had it..."

"OH, for the love of-Must I do everything? I told you to look out for the clue, and you go and lose it!"

"You didn't give me worth crap! Have you even checked your belt, you crazy dame?"

"You little...oh, here it is. Hee hee..." Zelda giggled nervously as she read the clue. "We have to go to DK Isle. Let's go, hahahahahahaha..."

"Dumb broad..." Link muttered under his breath as he followed Zelda to their taxi.

**Watermelon Ferry Station, Yoshi Highway**_  
Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place_  
Yoshi and DK had driven up to the ferry station in an excited manner, but their happiness was short-lived as they read the sign that hung behind the glass door.

"7:30 am to 9:00 pm? That sucks..." Yoshi noted as he read the schedule.

"Yes, it does, doesn't it?" DK said, while he was eating a banana.

"Now all the other teams will catch up to us..." Yoshi squealed dejectedly.

"So now what do we do?"

"Sleep." Yoshi and DK heaved out their sleeping bags and abruptly drifted off into dreamland.

The next morning, 7:30 am

"Man, that was a nice nap..." DK said as he rubbed sleep out of his eyes. "But now we're all caught up."

"All the teams are now on the same ferry bound for DK Isle." Anase the Shadow Alchemist announced. "Once they land at the city of Lanuvalo, teams must travel 2.5 miles out of the city into the Congo Jungle and search for the next clue."

**Lanuvalo, DK Isle**  
_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place_  
"Well, I'm home..." DK said as he walked through the lavish city. "The modern jewel of DK Isle sparkles like a diamond in the rough, tough jungles of my home."

"Whoa..." Yoshi said as he goggled at DK. "That was creepy..." At that moment, a crazy xylophone rang out in the background near them. Yoshi and DK turned around, and saw Pichu with a marimba and two drumsticks.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist..." A smile crept up Pichu's face, and Yoshi just sighed.

"Where's the taxi...?"

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: The gate to Congo Jungle, Lanuvalo_

"So this is the route?" Link asked.

"I think so...but it hasn't been used in a while..." Zelda noted the moss and vines growing all over the gate and noted, "We should be careful."

"I hope this doesn't turn into a disaster..." Link muttered. "Now where's my machete?"

_Pikachu and Pichu  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: The gate to Congo Jungle  
_"Hey, this looks fun!" Pichu said as he wandered into the rain forest. "I feel like Indiana Jones on one of his expeditions...are you coming, Pikachu?" He turned around and noticed that Pikachu had frozen up and was wearing a look of terror on his face. "What's wrong?"

"It's not dark in there, is it?"

"Why do you ask?"

"...never mind. Let's follow that trail!" Pikachu proudly declared, trying to mask his horror as well as possible and failing miserably.

"What's with him?" Shrugging it off, Pichu followed the terror-stricken Pikachu into the depths of the jungle.

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in 4th place  
Location: The gate to Congo Jungle  
_"Now what do we do?" Lilina asked Roy as he pondered over the current situation.

"It looks like we have to explore the jungle...mix it up!" He and Lilina tore off their clothes in a dramatic fashion the reveal canvas explorer outfits underneath, Roy with a canvas explorer suit, and Lilina with an explorer's jacket and a peach-colored skirt. Both had a fedora perched on their heads and were armed with machetes, pistols, whips and a handbook. "So, are we ready?"

"I hope so..." Lilina wondered as she started hacking away at the vegetation.

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place  
Location: Congo Jungle, DK Isle  
_"Where is that clue?" Yoshi said as he pushed and pulled all kinds of vegetation out of their path, but was soon cut up by thorns and splintered trees. "How far is it to the frickin' clue, anyway?"

"We're almost there." DK said. Blazing his way through the jungle, they finally came to a picturesque waterfall that thundered into the lake in front of them. Behind the waterfall was a familiar clue box. DK scurried over, grabbed a clue and tore it open. "'Locate the Halabarata Village by navigation...'"

"Teams must now make their way to the Blancmanche River and navigate it by speedboat and locate the Halabarata Village near the Coronet Delta." Anase the Shadow Alchemist continued. "Once there, teams must find the mayor's house and enter to receive the next clue."

"That's pretty cool." Yoshi said. A scuffling noise distracted him, however, and he glanced around to search for the source of the noise. Turning around, he saw Roy and Lilina, still in their explorer's outfits, hacking away at vegetation until they reached the clearing. "Good lord..."

"Wow, look at the waterfall!" Lilina squealed. "It's so beautiful!"

"Man, this planet really does have its unseen beauty, huh?" Roy agreed.

"We of DK Isle pride ourselves in being the most beautiful island ever." DK answered. "Why do you both look like Indiana Jones, though?" Before this escaped his lips, though, Pichu had struggled out of the maze of plants and had scratches on himself, followed by Pikachu, who was gasping and screaming. "What's with him?"

"He's afraid of the dark..."

"...we'd better split..." Yoshi noted as the other teams one by one emerged from the thick foliage, machetes drawn.

"Good idea..." DK said as they rushed back through the jungle towards the Lanuvalo City Gate.

**Docks, Blancmanche River**  
_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place_  
"Ooh...so clean...let's catch some fish and have lunch!" Yoshi squeaked, dangling his legs into the river.

"We still need to locate the Halabarata Village first!" DK said as he hoisted Yoshi into a speedboat. He then sweatdropped and asked Yoshi, "Do you know how to work this thing?"

"...I thought you did."

"CRAP!" DK pounded the dashboard of the speedboat out of frustration. "Now what?" By some extraordinary luck, though, he pounded the ignition button, sending the speedboat lurching forward and Yoshi and DK into the back and onto the floor. The steering wheel was turning wildly as the speedboat dashed through the river, missing a jet ski and a fallen cypress by inches. "Damn, we just keep flying out of frying pans and into fires today..."

"Augh! How do you make this crazy thing stop?" Just then, the speedboat flipped over and crashed into a tree on the coast, and the treehouse in the tree collapsed onto the flipped boat. Yoshi and DK wormed their way out of the wreckage and looked around to regain their surroundings. "I think we're at the Halabarata Village..."

"How can you tell?" DK asked Yoshi. It became clear when Yoshi pointed to the 'Welcome to Halabarata!' sign near the dock they flipped at. "Oh..."

_Pikachu and Pichu  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: Halabarata Docks, DK Isle_  
"What happened here?" Pichu asked as he pointed to the flipped speedboat under the collapsed treehouse.

"Whoa! Someone crashed..." Pikachu sprinted over to the wreckage and felt around for a body. "There's no one here..."

"What if they were totaled by the accident, and their bones and flesh and blood are all over the place, eek!" Pikachu almost vomited at the thought.

"Wait..." Pikachu pulled out a white wallet decorated with green polka-dots. "What's this?"

"Hey, Pikachu!" Yoshi yelled as he ran back to the crash site. "Is my wallet in there?"

"This?"

"Yeah! Thanks!" Yoshi squeaked as he ran back into the village. Pikachu and Pichu just stared in obvious disbelief.

"Holy shit...how'd they survive?"

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: Halabarata Docks  
_"Oh dear...I hope no one was caught in that..." Lilina worried after seeing the crashed speedboat at the base of the tree.

"I doubt any one can get killed in that...the boat's still intact." Roy noticed.

"Still..."

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place  
Location: The mayor's house, Halabarata Village  
_"Thank you, sir..." DK mumbled after receiving the clue from the mayor.

"What does it say?" Yoshi asked.

"Hold on, I haven't even opened it..." DK muttered. "'Blaze through the jungle and locate the Zeljiar Potions Laboratory...'"

"Teams must now make their way to the Zeljiar Potions Laboratory, at Lake Undala, the source of the Blancmanche River." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "Once there, teams must locate the potion creation chambers to locate their next clue."

"Sounds fun..." DK said.

"I don't want to get mutated..." Yoshi protested as they left the mayor's house.

"You're thinking of nuclear power plants, Yoshi...this is a laboratory that uses chemicals to create various potions..."

"Oh, gee, that's _so_ much more comforting..." Yoshi growled balefully.

**The Computer Room, 3rd floor  
Zeljiar Potions Laboratory  
**The scientist was just making mathematic calculations on the computer concerning a potion to raise defense in battle. After typing in the chemicals he obtained, the computer ran through and performed mathematical algorithms and piecing together the chemicals in the right order to create the Guard potion. He was about to present his findings to his boss when two people, one tall and short, covered in black cloaks quickly and skillfully got into the lab, even when the door was locked.

"Hey, what are you-" He never finished his sentence. The taller of the cloaked duo abruptly yanked the P99 from the holster on his belt and fired a shot point-blank in the head. Blood spilled out of the gaping hole in his head as the scientist collapsed dead onto the floor, the bottle of Guard potion shattering against the linoleum floor.

"Beep beep beep beep beep..." The shorter one seemed to give the taller his misgivings.

"Oh, shut up. I've killed numerous rogues in my life, and this is no different. Besides, he is a fugitive from the law and he was on death row." The shorter nodded his head in understanding. "Now where's the pack of dynamite you stole from the Great Fox?" The shorter gave him a small package with various electrical circuits and two canisters of gunpowder. "Good...now the teams won't know what hit them...heh heh heh...set the timer for 1 hour and 30 minutes." The two then laughed crazily at their diabolical genius.

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place  
Location: The Zeljiar Laboratory Main Gate  
_"What do you mean we can't get in?" Yoshi yelled at the security guard.

"Just that. You need to sign up for the tour for normal citizens to get inside, and the next tour is in..." The guard casually checked his watch and the schedule. "...30 minutes."

"Crap...all the other teams will catch up to us..." DK groaned.

"Sorry. After 9/11, we're not taking any chances." The guard said.

"Curses...Everyone else is probably going to be here...crap."

30 minutes later

As all the teams hopped up into the shuttle car for the start of the tour, and most of them weren't too happy about being on the same shuttle, especially Yoshi and DK. It also didn't help when the tour guide's voice sounded like a drone, and several teams fell asleep at once. It took 30 minutes to reach where the clue box resided, and the snoozing teams would have missed it if the other teams didn't nudge them awake. They soon saw a face that they would have been happier not seeing.

"Mr. Game & Watch!" all the teams announced at once.

"Why are you back here?" Link's voice tightened.

"Do you come hither to fleer and scorn at our solemnity?" Yoshi yelled. "Now, by the stock and honor of my kin, I hold it not a sin to strike you dead!" The way he worded it confused the other teams, though, so they had no idea what he said and just goggled at him. "What?"

"Talk English, not Shakespeare!" Roy vexed. "This isn't frickin' 1842!"

"Shakespeare existed in the 1500s." Lilina corrected.

"Whatever!"

"Beep beep!" Mr. Game & Watch nodded in agreement. However, the words from his walkman would set them off.

"Mr. Game & Watch, what are you doing?" Captain Falcon's voice sounded agonized. "Get back here right now before that laboratory blows up with you in it!" It took a full 5 seconds for the Smashers to realize what he said.

"BLOWS UP?" At that point, Mr. Game & Watch looked panicked. He ran to the balcony nearby and parachuted off before the laboratory began to shake and sputter as large pieces of concrete and steel catwalks falling from the ceiling.

"OH SHIT!" DK panicked.

"We have to get out of here!" Marth yelled. "We're going to die!"

"I hope the clue saves us!" Ness answered, grabbing one from the box and tearing it open. "'Road Block! Who has the need for speed?'"

"A Road Block is a task only one person may perform, and no one person on the entire race can do more than 6." Anase the Shadow Alchemist said. "In this Road Block, that person has to hop into the driver's side of a Porsche Cayenne and perform a James Bond-esque stunt: drive through a window of the laboratory building and land safely 8 feet below onto the road to their left. Once they cross the bridge that spans the Blancmanche River, the person will be awarded the next clue. Marth-sama..."

"You do it, DK; I've already hit the 6 limit..." Yoshi said.

"If this involves racing, count me in!" Lilina chimed, giggling a bit. "This will be fun!"

"If we keep talking, this lab will blow up with us in it!" Link yelled. "Let's go!"

**The Zeljiar Scenic Point, 4th floor  
****Road Block Area  
**Upon arrival at the garage the teams were supposed to perform the Road Block, the laboratory was in bad shape. Windows were broken, there were cracks and holes in the ceiling, pieces of lab equipment and concrete littered the room, and light crashed to the floor in a shower of sparks. "We only have one chance, folks; let's not screw things up!" With that, DK, Pichu, Zelda, Lilina, Mewtwo and Sheeda hopped into the driver's side, revved the engines, and blasted out of the factory just as the timer hit zero. The laboratory was engulfed in flames and debris shot out of the smoldering ruins, sending various towers crashing into the ground. DK and the others didn't stop until they reached the other side of the bridge.

"Damn, that's one hot puppy they're cooking tonight..." Lilina said.

"Now we don't have to worry about dying!" Zelda said happily.

"We might have to worry about other casualties, though...look!" The teams followed Yoshi's finger to a storage tank of biohazardous chemicals and watched in horror as a piece of debris broke it open and spilled its contents into the nearby lake.

"Oh shi- if we don't purify that fast, everyone will-"

"Yes; everyone will die." Mewtwo said. "The river runs through the Halabarata Village and eventually into Lanuvalo City near where we entered DK Isle." Words didn't need to describe the destructive power of the chemicals as several fish rose belly-up to the surface at where the chemicals spilled into the water. "How will we fix this?"

"I have an idea..." DK said. He pulled out a cell phone from his backpack and coolly said, "Leave everything to me."

**45 minutes later, Lake Undala  
****2 hours and 15 minutes until chemicals reach Halabarata  
**Several phone calls later, a bamboo helicopter landed with 4 of DK's relatives inside. The first was much shorter than DK and had a red cap and vest on. The second had large ponytails the length of her face and wore a multicolored hat and overalls. The third was orange in color and wore a shirt and pants held up by suspenders. The last was huge and muscular; he wore a small red yamaka and a golfer's vest. DK beamed with excitement at their arrival. "Hey, guys, how's it been?"

"You never write back, you never visit...how do you think we felt?" The girl monkey screeched.

"Tiny..." the large one muttered in a scolding tone. "That is not how we should talk. MAN, WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!"

"Sorry, Chunky, I haven't had the time..." DK scratched the back of his head nervously.

"So, what about the tournament?" the orange orangutan asked.

"Yeah, tell us!" the one in red asked.

"I can tell you later, Lanky; Diddy." DK addressed in order of who spoke first. "Now, the potions laboratory exploded..."

"Wow!" Tiny yelled. "Can we see?"

"Whoa...never thought _that _place would blow up..." Lanky agreed.

"Quiet!" DK yelled with a show of force. "The lab exploded and dumped chemicals into the lake, and..."

"And you want us to help you block off the contaminated water before it reaches the other villages?" Diddy finished.

"No problem, Donkey! Let us get to work." Chunky declared proudly.

"Good! You know what to do; now do it!" The 5 Kongs ran over to where the tank was spilling out and got to work. Chunky Kong was tossing boulders in front of the contaminated water to divert it; Lanky Kong was karate-chopping trees and felled the into the biomess to block it off; Tiny Kong was using her ponytails to cut ropes that sent crates into the water to block the mess; Diddy Kong was using metal pipes and debris to divert the dangerous chemicals away from the lake; Donkey Kong was shoving walls into the lake to block the water's path. Despite their best efforts, they couldn't stop the biomess from moving towards the mouth of the river. "How will we stop this!" Chunky complained.

DK was already one step ahead and was talking to someone the cell phone. "Hey, Cranky, I need you to..."

He was interrupted by the voice on the other line, which sounded old and wrinkly. "Donkey Cornelius Kong! Where have you been?"

"It's a long story, but I-"

"Don't give me any buts!" Cranky yelled from the other end of the line. "Back in my day, we actually showed respect to our elders! Kids these days: they're always looking for the best thing to do, the best technology, bah! We were lucky if we even saw a computer! You young ones always complain about how the city is cruel. We did something about it; it was community service! Why, in my day, our kind of fun was going into the jungle and hunting for one of them beavers to cook! My ma could make the best beaver stew this side of Nintendo! Don't go disrespecting your elders; I know of one who could solve cases with the blink of an eye! She could tell you who, why, when and how a murder was committed just by looking at photos! Don't scorn the elders; respect them!"

"Yes, Cranky..." DK muttered as several teams snickered at him.

"Well, don't 'Yes, Cranky,' me, why did you call?"

"The potion laboratory exploded, and we need a wa-"

"The potion laboratory!" Cranky was so loud everyone heard him. "How the hell-"

"Look! We need a water filter to fit at the river's mouth! Please, just make one already and get to it! We don't have much time!" DK was about to break his phone out of frustration.

"Fine...but you're in the Amazing Race, are you not?"

"What are you saying?"

"You know!" Cranky yelled. "Make sure to give me a nice big slice of the million-dollar pie, okay?"

"Of course..." DK grinned.

"Fine, I'll be there in an hour." Cranky hung up and soon started to work on the rest of the project.

"You just _had_ to butt in, didn't you?"

"Captain Falcon!" Lilina screeched. She turned around and saw the devious F-Zero racer with a Harpoon R-L in his arms.

"I'll make sure you don't win at all!" Captain Falcon laughed maniacally and started opening fire on the Smashers, firing rockets at them and hurling them into the ground with the force of the explosion. He kept firing nonstop, and many of the people were nearly killed including Lilina herself. "How does that feel?"

"Guh...we'll never...surrender..." Marth growled, limping and leaning against a tree for support. His right temple had been torn open and blood was trickling down the side of his head.

"We...will not...lose to...you." Lilina staggered, her dress torn and her left arm bearing a nasty gash on it.

"Fine. Go to hell." However, a grape splattered him in the eye and the juice ran into it, severely burning his eye. "AUGH! Who the hell-" He saw Lanky Kong with a bamboo shooter as he fired more grapes in his direction, blinding him. "Curse you!"

"Go for it!" Lilina followed Lanky's advice and mustered her energy to give Falcon a hard kick in the gut, which caused him to drop the missile launcher into the chemicals, destroying it immediately.

"Damn! That tears it!" Captain Falcon's left arm shot out and grabbed Zelda, who shrieked loudly as he pulled her close and pointed his P99 at her head. "I doubt that any of you will let the young lady be hurt just to defeat me. I shall let her go at Lanuvalo, when I board the plane for the Smash Island – provided, of course, that no one does anything foolish.

"Here, now!" Link expostulated. "What d'you think you're doing?"

"Captain Falcon!" Lilina exclaimed in tones of shock.

"You wouldn't dare," Link said to Captain Falcon.

"He certainly would." Marth said to Link. "You better drop your weapons, Kongs. We will have to be content with letting him go."

Captain Falcon smiled and started forward, dragging Zelda along with him, as the Kongs reluctantly dropped their weapons. "Don't forget the million, Link," Captain Falcon said, turning his head slightly. The rumbling of the ground had caught him off-guard, however, and he foolishly let go of the Hylian princess, who kicked him in the shin and ran to her Link. "Damn! What now-oh, shit!" He watched as an elephant crashed into him. He was thrown into the sky again and yelled, "Captain Falcon is blasting off again!"

"OH SHUT UP!" Pikachu yelled.

Regarding the elephant, it screeched to a stop as the carriage it was carrying bounced to a halt. The elephant had a red siren belted to its head, and the side of the carriage had 'DK Isle Fire Department' painted to the side. Six or seven monkeys jumped forth from the carriage, yanked out a can of neutral chemicals, and started spraying the foam onto the chemicals in the lake, producing a fizzy effect on the lake. Cranky Kong jumped out and lugged a huge water filter with him. "DK! Here's the water filter you wanted..."

"Thanks!" DK and the Kongs hoisted the water filter to its new home at the mouth of the Blancmanche River.

"We did it!" Diddy Kong yelled. "DK Isle is saved."

"We have to go, though." DK motioned to the other teams and said, "We have a race to run. But I'll bring you all back a piece of the million, okay?"

"Good luck!" Tiny yelled as he and the other teams ran off across the bridge.

"Best of fortune to you!" Lanky yelled.

"Win the million!" Chunky screamed.

"Make us proud!" Cranky hollered.

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place  
Location: The Rufiyaa Bridge, DK Isle_  
"Yes!" DK announced. "'Go to the next Pit Stop, the Jungle Japes...'"

"Teams must now make their way to the next Pit Stop: Jungle Japes." Nintendo Nut1 said. "This magnificent jungle, known for its lush vegetation and for the movie _007: Everything or Nothing_ is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in will be eliminated."

"Let's go, Yoshi." DK said, grabbing a taxi bound for Jungle Japes.

**Jungle Japes, DK Isle  
**"So, who will come in first?" Nintendo Nut1 asked Anase.

"It is Marth-sama...it is always Marth-sama..."

"Of course, but what about Donkey..." the presenter said. She was a tall girl monkey why was busty and curvaceous, and she had a pink halter top and shorts, with pink shoes to compliment the look.

"I think that's him, Candy..." Nintendo Nut1 said as Yoshi and DK ran up to the world mat. "Yoshi and DK, you are in first place!"

"WOOT!" Yoshi yelled.

"Oh, hey Candy..." DK said, drool dripping down the side of his face. "How's life..."

"It's good. Here you go." She handed them a Souvenir Set, decorated in brown and yellow and bearing the DK logo on it. Next came Roy and Lilina, Pikachu and Pichu, Link and Zelda, and Ness and Mewtwo, in that order. Much to Anase's dismay, Marth and Sheeda were the last ones to arrive.

"What! NO!" Anase screamed as she broke down, crying, as Nintendo Nut1 made that heart-wrenching announcement.

"Marth and Sheeda, you are the last to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you that you are eliminated from the race."

"WHY!" Anase screamed. "I wanted you to win! Why must this happen?"

"Anase." Marth called her to attention. "I really don't think that money is everything. Sure, it would have been nice, but I came to the race for the adventure, the journey, and, most importantly, to travel with Sheeda, whom I love with all my heart." Sheeda giggled nervously at this last comment. "I sincerely think we have done the best we have to offer on this race, and I have no regrets."

"Marth..." Anase said. She dried her tears and hugged Marth, saying, "I'm sorry you got eliminated, but I hope you and Sheeda have a good life together."

"Thank you." At this point, Marth, Sheeda, Anase the Shadow Alchemist, and Nintendo Nut1 were startled by a bright light from above focused only on the four. "Marth and Sheeda." A mysterious voice announced from the heavens.

"Who are you?" Nintendo Nut1 yelled, shaking her fist at the sky.

"I speak on behalf of the author." The voice said. "He has heard what you said, and he looks on you with favor. He presents you with this." A burlap sack fell out of the sky at that moment, and Marth and Sheeda opened it to reveal wads of hundred dollar bills. They gasped, and Anase smiled brightly. "He has given you the 6th place monetary reward of $3,125 for you. Take it as you so please." The light soon disappeared as clouds moved across the night sky, as if nothing happened.

"Yay!" Anase cheered. "You got some money! I am glad again." She grabbed Marth by his head and tenderly kissed him, which set off Sheeda, and Anase finished, "That is a reminder that we will meet again." She grabbed Souvenir Set 8 (see ch 8 for details) and announced, "Farewell, and may we meet again!" She then disappeared, leaving a cloud of smoke in her wake.

"Well, we may have lost, but this is good to have!" Marth laughed, showing the readers the sack with $3,125.

* * *

As of now, the eliminated teams from here on out will receive a fraction of the million as rewards for making it this far. This will be good for them. Now the next co-host (ShadowHawkX3) will receive this Souvenir Set:

A Jungle Japes miniature  
A Candy Kong figurine  
The Donkey Kong Artbook  
DK Isle and You: The Tourist's Guide  
The _Donkey Kong: Legend of the Crystal Coconut _movie  
The Crystal Coconut trophy  
The _Donkey Kong 64_ game for Nintendo 64

Farewell! May fortune flood your stories, folks!

Gamer21


	11. From DK Isle to the Mushroom Kingdom

(Bleep)! The stupid website's login post crashed, so I couldn't upload my story last week, so now I have to submit this chapter and the last together. To (bleep) with this login crash (bleep)...

**Responses:**

**_Anters_**: Thanks, that helps a lot. But just for the sake of sanity, I'm keeping you as a girl when you appear on the finale of the _Amazing Race_, okay?

**_Nintendo Nut1_**: Of course, I broke tradition by giving a prize to the 6th place winner. However, the 6 teams that remained are all my favorite characters from SSB: M, so it was very hard for me to eliminate one of them, you know?

**_Anase the Shadow Alchemist_**: You are very welcome.

**_LegoMan727_**: ...good. I don't want to have a mafia visit me in the middle of the night...but I'm still keeping a MP5 next to my bed just in case!

**The quote by Canas comes from a story by Link015! Great author!

* * *

**

Nintendo Nut1 was nervously pacing around the room, staring at the map and the teams that were left. "Oh dear...I don't want Link to be eliminated, but now what is going to happen?"

"Shall I answer your question, or shall I leave you to your pacing?" Turning around, Nintendo Nut1 met a young man of 14 and noticed that he was like her in some ways. He had the characteristics of a wolf, just more defined. His hair was stripes of black and white and had grey eyes. His hair was spiked, and so were his clothes, a space general's suit of red and black with various spikes on the shoulders, waist, and forearms. "Well, well, this is interesting. You are part wolf, are you not?"

"And so what if I am?" Nintendo Nut1 yelled.

"Calm down. I am ShadowHawkX3, the co-host for this chapter." The werewolf said. He grabbed Nintendo Nut1 by her wrist and made their way to the set of Amazing Race.

* * *

"This is DK Isle, the land of the tropics, as it is called, known for the finest quality fruits in all of Nintendo." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "This beautiful tropical island was named 'Most Beautiful Land' in Nintendo Walker. Within is Jungle Japes, a thick jungle in the depths of DK Isle that served as the 9th Pit Stop in a race around Nintendo."

"The teams that checked in last leg have a mandatory rest period where they can eat, sleep, and mingle with the other teams." ShadowHawkX3 finished. "The teams have no idea what will happen next in this race, and must follow a set of clues to their next location. Yoshi and DK, who were the first to arrive at 12:30 pm, will depart at 12:30 am."

_Yoshi and DK  
1st to depart, 12:30 am  
Location: Jungle Japes, DK Isle  
_"So, where to next?" Yoshi asked as he read the clue. "'Go to the Lanuvalo Airport and take a charter...'"

"Teams must now navigate the city 4.5 miles back to Lanuvalo City on the coast and make their way to the airport." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "Once there, teams must sign up for 1 of 2 charter flights, one at 8 and the other at 8:30, and fly to Toad Town in the Mushroom Kingdom. Teams will find the next clue at Club 64 on the port."

"Let's go." Yoshi said, pulling out a machete and hacking through the jungle.

_Roy and Lilina  
2nd to depart, 12:42 am  
Location: Jungle Japes  
_"I hope we win...we are so close!" Roy announced.

"We will, don't worry..." Lilina said as she read the clue. "It say we must go to the airport."

"Let's go then." Roy said, following the trail of cut vegetation Yoshi left behind.

_Pikachu and Pichu  
3rd to depart, 12:46 am  
Location: Jungle Japes_  
"Good lord, Toad Town?" Pikachu asked. "I have no idea where that place is!"

"Oh, come on, it's probably not that bad..." Pichu started.

"Yeah...I hope not..." Pikachu muttered balefully, chewing on a stick before running off after Pichu.

_Link and Zelda  
4th to depart, 12:49 am  
Location: Jungle Japes  
_"Well, well!" Zelda announced after reading the clue. "Toad Town is a rather interesting place to go to, huh?"

"Indeed..." Link concurred as he hopped onto the taxi.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
5th to depart, 1:01 am  
Location: Jungle Japes  
_"I suggest we find a way to be first before we leave the island..." Ness said as his eyes lulled over the clue with misgiving. "I don't want to be eliminated..."

"At least we get cash prizes now..." Mewtwo quipped.

"Yes, but still..." Ness muttered as they got into a taxi and drove off.

**DK Isles International Airport  
Lanuvalo City  
**_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place_  
"This must be the charter flight, right?" Yoshi asked as he pointed to a Cessna that was being guided onto the runway. "So that's how we get to Toad Town?"

"That's right!" DK announced as he entered the terminal. He noticed the two flights and signed up for the 8:00 flight. He watched as Pikachu and Pichu strolled in and sign up for the 8:00 flight, along with Link and Zelda, leaving the other two teams on the 8:30 flight. "That was fast..."

"I know." Pichu said as the clock struck 3. "But what do we do now?"

"How about we check into a hotel and sleep?" Zelda suggested. "It's not going to hurt..."

"Meh, as long as we don't miss the flight." Yoshi chimed in. "Besides, I think we'll have some people mad at us..."

4¾ hours later

Yoshi, DK, Link, Zelda, Pikachu and Pichu smiled brightly as they boarded the first flight to Toad Town, leaving the other teams naught but crumbs to feast upon.

"All the teams are now on the charter flights bound for Toad Town in the Mushroom Kingdom." ShadowHawkX3 said. "On the 8:00 flight are Link and Zelda, Yoshi and DK, and Pikachu and Pichu. On the 8:30 flight is Roy and Lilina and Ness and Mewtwo. Once they land, they must locate Club 64 at the town's port to receive their next clue." ShadowHawkX3 then blurted out, "KICK THEM ASSES, ROY! YEAH!" This earned him the stares of the whole studio as he sheepishly apologized. "Sorry..."

**Toad Town International Airport, Mushroom Kingdom**

**Charter Flight #1 from DK Isle**  
_Pikachu and Pichu  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: Fields near the Pleasant Path, Toad Town outskirts_

"Good lord..." Pikachu said as he glanced around the field. "Everything's in Technicolor!"

"What did you think it would be in, monochrome or something?" Pichu snapped.

"It's just so...unique here, that's all." Pikachu said. "There too much color here..."

"I guess that's true..." Pichu said, his eyes swirling from the color.

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: The main square, Toad Town  
_"Oh dear..." Zelda said as she tried to walk across the square, but to no avail. "I can't cross the town without accidentally kicking one of the Toads!" She glanced over to the message board, where a pile of Toads were lying unconscious. "Help!"

"I think I crashed into a Toad myself..." Link said, annoyed. "Why did they have to be so freakin' short?"

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place  
Location: Outside Club 64, Toad Town port  
_"YAY!" Yoshi squealed. "I found the clue!"

"Let me see..." DK shoved Yoshi out of the way and read the clue.

"Watch it, you big ape!"

Ignoring Yoshi's comment, DK read, "'Road Block: Who's ready to dance the night away?'"

"A Road Block is a task only one person may perform, and no one person can do more than 6 in the entire course of the race." Nintendo Nut1 declared. "In this Road Block, that person must head inside and perform in a fad spreading across the Mushroom Kingdom: Dance Dance Revolution! YAY!" Nintendo Nut1 did a bit of a happy dance and continued, "That person must get a score of at least C in order to gain the next clue."

"You should be dancing." Yoshi pointed to DK. "Besides, I used up all my Road Blocks."

"Man, but I have two left feet..." DK complained as they entered the club.

**Charter Flight #2 from DK Isle**_  
Roy and Lilina  
Currently in 4th place_  
"Whoa..." Lilina breathed as they entered the city. "Talk about something out of a kid's book..."

"Quite true..." Roy acknowledged. "Who knows what will happen here?"

"We could find the clue..." Lilina said as she spotted the familiar clue box next to the docks. "I think that's it right there."

"Talk about luck..." Roy said. "This Road Block has to do with dancing..."

"Oh, I want to do this one! Please?" Lilina's face had assumed the look of begging and had her usual puppy-dog eyes on her.

"Fine...just don't do that again..." Roy said.

"YAY!"

_Ness and Mewtwo  
Currently in last place  
Location: The docks, Toad Town  
_"Dude, this is freakin' cool!" Ness said as he strolled through the town. "It looks like a kid's dream here!"

"Indeed..." Mewtwo said as they made their way to the clue box. "You like to dance?"

"I guess..." Ness said as he got inside.

**Club 64, the DDR Arena**

Ness had every right to be nervous. He was competing against DK, Zelda, Pikachu, and Lilina and he was shorter than all of them! What made it more challenging was that the song they were to dance successfully was already picked out for them; they had no chance for screw ups. Ness just was jumpy; the others' feelings were more concealed, more ominous. This time was when the referee shouted, "Is everyone ready to boogie?"

"I hope so..." Ness said.

"Dance!" he shouted as the song, _Everything or Nothing _by Mya, began to blare over the stereos.

'_Okay, here we go..._' Ness said as his feet followed the pattern of up, downs, lefts and rights that showed up on the monitor in front of him. He watched some of the others and sighed in relief; DK was slipping and crashing all over the pad, and Pikachu was running around just to reach the panel on time. Ness grinned.

Halfway into the song, he noticed Lilina stand on her head and spin on the center, using her hands to touch all of the needed panels while she break-danced. This served as a great distraction for DK and Pikachu; her skirt fell down while she was spinning and they obtained a nice nosebleed for themselves. She grinned slightly; the dance had done its purpose.

"You do know you're missing several marks, right?" Lilina said sweetly at DK and Pikachu as they stared at her.

"Oh, shi-" DK growled as he tried to recover.

"Cursed are you, even thought you're very hot..." Pikachu said.

"..." Lilina just stared at Pikachu for a full two minutes before she realized that she missed several marks herself. "Crap!"

"Ha ha! You deserved that!" Pikachu announced, laughing at Lilina.

"Shut up!" Lilina yelled.

"Oh dear..." Ness said. He decided to watch the argument; his mind's eye could see the dance pad, anyway. He watched Lilina toss a Thunder tome at DK and fry him up and Pikachu KO Lilina. "Man, how'd we lose to her if Pikachu downed her so easily?"

"You were not fighting well, that's why." Zelda quipped.

"You little..." Ness pulled out his baseball bat and bashed Zelda's leg with it.

"YEOWWWCH!" Zelda was clutching her leg in pain and collapsed just as the referee stopped the dance contest.

"Okay, here are the scores as follows: Lilina, 750 of 800; Zelda; 798 of 800; DK, 451 of 800; Pikachu, 499 of 800; and Ness, 800 of 800." Ness was satisfied; everyone else was pissed. Pikachu was spluttering and vowing revenge; Lilina was kicking the machine in frustration; DK was smashing the game in frustration; Zelda just grinned. "All of you get the clue."

"YAY!" Lilina cheered. "I got it!"

"You did..." Roy muttered, blushing furiously. "That was unexpected, to say the least..."

"Oh, shut up!"

"I do agree that was a crazy match..." Link said as he and Zelda read the clue. "'Make your way to the city gate and search the lake...'"

"Teams must now make their way to the main square, where the city gate is located." ShadowHawkX3 said. "Once they make it, teams must obtain some scuba gear, jump into the nearby lake and comb the bottom to find an artifact vase. Finding it, they must clean it off as best as they can and present to the scholarly Toad Russ T. in order to receive the next clue."

"Scuba diving, huh?" Link said. "This'll be fun..."

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in 1st place  
Location: The main gate, Toad Town  
_"Anyone knows where the scuba diving gear is?" Roy asked a Toad. Shaking his head no, Roy spluttered, "Where'd they hide the scuba gear?"

"I don't know!" Lilina yelled as she searched the bushes nearby. "They must have hidden it somewhere!"

"Where is it!" Roy shouted.

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: The main gate, Toad Town  
_"I don't know what they're screaming about..." Yoshi said as he watched Roy and Lilina search frantically for the scuba gear. "It's over here..." he added, pointing to a pile of scuba gear sitting next to the lake.

"Yeah, but don't tell them that." DK warned Yoshi. "I think it's funny to watch them squirm."

"You're a sadist, aren't you...?"

"Oh, shut up."

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: The main gate  
_"My, isn't this becoming quite the eccentric..." Zelda said as they watched Roy and Lilina stumble around frantically for the scuba gear and Yoshi and DK laughing their minds out. "I think the race got to them..."

"Well, that's true." Link said. "It is as in the words of the wise man Canas: '_This whole army is full of individuals, whom, on their own, should belong to a mental ward. However, their fighting prowess on the battlefield proves that they work best with each other._'"

"...that was deep..." Zelda said.

"...yeah, it's best for us not to think about it too much..." Link agreed.

_Ness and Mewtwo  
Currently in 4th place  
Location: The main gate_  
"Hey, this if fun." Ness said as he and Mewtwo silently slipped into the lake while the other teams were watching the others screw around. "So what are we looking for again?"

"I believe that we're locating an antique vase." Mewtwo answered in response to the young psychic.

"Would this count?" Ness asked, holding a vase made of gold and encrusted with emeralds and rubies at its rim.

"Yes, very much so." Mewtwo replied as they surfaced. "But don't tell-"

"I FOUND THE VASE!"

"...too late." Mewtwo vigorously massaged his forehead with the palm of his hand as the other teams finally took notice and started.

"ACK! They found the vase!" Lilina screamed. "There's only one thing for us to do!"

"What would that be?" Pikachu asked as he and Pichu popped up behind her.

"YEEEK! Don't do that!" Lilina screamed, hiding behind the redheaded swordsman.

"This should be fun to watch..." Ness said from the dressing rooms as he changed out of his swim trunks and into his normal clothing. "Man, everyone's pissed..."

"Yes, but it shows them weak for not finishing the task at hand..." Mewtwo added.

"Shut up!" the other teams yelled as they stripped down to their swimsuits and wended over to the lake.

"Wow, Lilina, you look cute!" Roy said as he saw Lilina in a blue two-piece.

"Thanks..." Lilina said, blushing furiously.

"Good, we're in first." Mewtwo said. "Now where is this Russ T.?" After locating the scholarly Toad's house, Russ T. gave them the clue, which Ness took to reading. "'The battleship _U.S.S. Mushroom _fired the first shot in the Mushroom Revolution. Locate the ship...'"

"Teams must now locate the _U.S.S. Mushroom_, a battleship currently at dock in the Toad Town port." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "They must board the ship and search the decks until they find the clue box next to the cannon that fired said shot in the Mushroom Revolution."

"This should be good..." Mewtwo said as the other teams got their clues.

"Crap! We better go!" Ness panicked as he grabbed Mewtwo and dragged him back to the port.

**The _U.S.S. Mushroom _docking bay, Toad Town Port**  
_Pikachu and Pichu  
Currently in 1st place_  
"By Lugia's wings, who would think such a huge ship would be here?" Pichu asked as he stared at the battleship. "I didn't see anything like this back home in Brooklyn..."

"I hear that..." Pikachu gaped. He quickly changed the subject, probably to draw their attention away from said ship. "So, the clue is aboard this monstrosity, huh?"

"That's what the clue said..." Pichu replied, skittering up the gangway and onto the ship itself. "Man, the deck is huge! ECHO! Echo! echo! ECHO. Echo. echo."

"What in Raikou's lightning are you doing?" Pikachu said, staring at Pichu with polite incredulity.

"Um, something..." Pichu then spied a clue box at least 5 feet northeast from their position. "I know! I was searching for the clue, and I used echometrics to find it!"

"Echometrics?" Pikachu repeated in skepticism.

"Yes...echometrics."

"Okay, then..." Pikachu just stared at Pichu as if he had grown two heads, made his way over to the clue box and pulled one out of the clues. He then grabbed Pichu and ran back down the gangway to the street vendor nearby, probably to avoid giving away the clue box's location. "'Detour: Shop or Schlep...'"

"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams must choose between Shop or Schlep." ShadowHawkX3 answered. "In Shop, teams must locate Gumbo's Diner and purchase five ingredients for them for use in a spicy stew eaten as a specialty here at the Mushroom Kingdom: carrots, potatoes, peas, tomatoes, and strictly 2.25 pounds of beef. Once they give these ingredients to the head chef, he will give them the next clue."

"In Schlep, teams go to Thingus Books and find 150 books for delivery to the local library at Princess Peach's Castle." Nintendo Nut1 finished. "Once they deliver all the books, teams must arrange them orderly on the bookshelves provided to receive the next clue."

"Well, I would rather buy food instead of haul books somewhere..." Pichu said.

"Then we shall shop until we drop!" Pikachu announced and watched as Link and Zelda boarded the _U.S.S. Mushroom_. "Let's hurry and find this 'Gumbo's Diner'!"

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: The U.S.S Mushroom  
_"Well, here's the ship, but I don't see a clue..." Link said.

"But look at the size of this ship!" Zelda awed. "It would suck if we went to war against them and they brought out this bad boy!"

"Yep...our fleet would be at the bottom of the sea by then..." Link agreed. "Hey, Zel! I found the clue!"

"Good, good." Zelda replied wholeheartedly. "Shop or Schlep? Never heard of that before...ah, let's shop!"

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: The U.S.S. Mushroom  
_"Whoa...you could fit a lot of fruit on this boat!" Yoshi said as he marveled at the battleship.

"I agree." DK said. "I could store all the bananas in the world on this thing..."

"If it were me, I'd store pineapples!" Yoshi retorted, stumbling and falling in front of the clue box. "Yo, Deek! I found the clue!"

"One: don't call me 'Deek'." DK protested. "And two: LET ME SEE!"

"Geez, don't have a cow!" Yoshi said. "Shop or Schlep..."

"I can do Schlep all by myself!" DK said. "Allow me, Yoshi."

"Go ahead; I insist!" Yoshi said, relieved.

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in 4th place  
Location: The U.S.S. Mushroom  
_"Wow...it's huge!" Lilina said.

"What amazes me is that steel can actually float..." Roy replied, glancing around the ship. "Whoever thought of this must have modernized warfare."

"True...So, Roy-hey! I found the clue!" Lilina yelled. Tearing it open, she read: "Detour: Shop or Schlep. What do you think, Roy?"

"Carrying books from point A to point B sounds a lot easier than ingredient-hunting..." Roy noted.

"Then Schlep it is!"

_Ness and Mewtwo  
Currently in last place  
Location: The U.S.S. Mushroom  
_"Crap..." Ness muttered when they reached the clue box. "We're in last place, huh?"

"Yep..." Mewtwo said. "Shop or Schlep...ah, let's just teleport all the books over to the library. That will make things easier for us."

"True." Ness agreed as they teleported to Thingus Books.

**Gumbo's Diner, Toad Town**  
_Pikachu and Pichu  
Currently in 1st place  
_"So, we need to find carrots, potatoes, peas, tomatoes, and 2¼ pounds of beef...that sounds easy." Pichu said.

"But look at the marketplace..." Pikachu said, pointing to the various stores in and around the market. They were selling beads, food, toys, anything that sold. Pichu sweatdropped and said only one thing in response:

"Crap."

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: The market near Gumbo's Diner, Toad Town  
_"This is going to be a challenge..." Zelda replied as she and Link crowded into the marketplace, where several people and storekeepers were as commonplace as grass in Hyrule and were making more noise than a rocket engine.

"Yep..." Link agreed "It amazes me how people can find what they're looking for in a maze such as this."

"I hope this doesn't get too hectic..."

**Thingus Books, Toad Town**_  
Ness and Mewtwo  
Currently in 3rd place  
_"That was fun." Ness said, dumping his load of books messily onto the floor of the castle library.

"Be careful with those!" Mewtwo snapped. "We're not going to receive the clue if you treat those like freakin' bricks!"

"Fine..." Ness replied as he began the monotonous work of placing the books onto the empty shelves.

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 4th place  
Location: The Street to Princess Peach's Castle, Mushroom Kingdom  
_"I think you didn't read the clue correctly..." Yoshi said.

"Why?" DK asked, heaving the books over to the library.

"They said to take the books. They never said anything about the freakin' bookshelf!" Indeed, DK was heaving the entire bookshelf on his back and stomping over to the castle and its library. Yoshi purposely lagged behind to pick up the books that occasionally fell out. "Good lord, what would the library people think?"

"At least we don't have to put the books on the provided shelf..." DK said, looking at the bright side.

"Point taken..." Yoshi just sweatdropped and sighed.

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in last place  
Location: The Street to Princess Peach's Castle  
_"DK's mind is gone..." Lilina said as she carted at least 90 books on a dolly to the library. "What was he thinking, tearing out the whole damn bookshelf?"

"I don't think he was thinking anything..." Roy said as he carried the remaining 60 books to the library. "He's obsessed..."

"With what?"

"Winning, probably." Roy winked at Lilina. "It's in all of us now. Some just take more extreme measures, though."

"Indeed..." she said as DK tripped and crushed the bookshelf, leaving nothing but books and splintered wood. "HAHA!"

"Sucks to be them." Roy said as they walked past.

**Gumbo's Diner, Toad Town  
**_Pikachu and Pichu  
Currently in 1st place  
_"Finally!" After unloading their purchased ingredients to the head chef, he gave them the yellow envelope they desperately needed. "Let's see...'Go to the next Pit Stop, the Shooting Star Summit...'"

"Teams must now make their way to Shooting Star Summit, a revered hill gently sloping upwards towards the starry skies of the Mushroom Kingdom." ShadowHawkX3 explained. "This beautiful summit, constantly in view of the meteor showers so common to the land, is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in will be eliminated. KICK THEM ASSES, ROY!"

"Well, at least now we can relax!" Pikachu declared, Pichu cheering all the while.

**Shooting Star Summit, Mushroom Kingdom  
**"Isn't it interesting to find out that this sacred valley is the Pit Stop for a race such as this?" ShadowHawkX3 replied.

"You do have a point there, my boy." a voice replied. It was basically a yellow star with beady eyes and a beard. "But we can't prevent progress."

"Quite true, Eldstar. You really have seen it all..." Nintendo Nut1 agreed.

"Yep..." At this point, Pikachu and Pichu were skittering up the steps to the summit, where Nintendo Nut1 and ShadowHawkX3 were waiting. "Pikachu and Pichu, I am glad to say that you are team number one!"

"Well, that's good. I love it when we are first!" Pichu squeaked.

"Yes, you do." Eldstar replied. "Here you go, ya' crazy younguns." He handed over a red box with the Mushroom Kingdom logo on it; the 10th Souvenir Set in the race. Pikachu and Pichu were about to open it when Roy and Lilina ran up behind them, gasping, out of breath, and collapsing onto the warm dirt. "Well, I believe the 2nd place team has arrived."

"We're second?" Lilina gasped. "Yay...we're not last..." she announced as she fell back down onto the ground from exhaustion.

"Man that was fun..." Roy muttered balefully. "Never anger a Toad with fireworks strapped on his back, or you'll get burned..." Their clothes looked and smelled somewhat singed, but otherwise they were in one piece. Roy collapsed onto the ground, using his sword to hold himself up.

"As long as you are still in the race, I do not mind." ShadowHawkX3 said. He picked up Souvenir Set 9 (see ch. 10 for details) and swirled his cloak unnecessarily, shouting "I will return!" before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. After that was Link and Zelda and Yoshi and DK, leaving the poor psychics in last place.

"Ness and Mewtwo, you are the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you that you have both been eliminated from the race." She handed them both a Souvenir Set and the 5th place cash prize of $6,250 and watched as they left, somewhat happy.

"Well, we tried our best and got this far...I have no regrets." Mewtwo said.

"Yeah, and we also got money!" Ness added, showing the readers the sack of money.

* * *

SEASON FINALE IN TWO WEEKS! STICK AROUND FOR THE HEARTSTOPPING FINALE AT THE SMASH ISLAND! YAY!

The next co-host will receive the following gift set:

A Shooting Star Summit miniature  
An Eldstar figurine  
The Super Mario Artbook  
Mushroom Kingdom and You: The Tourist's Guide  
The _Super Mario Bros. _movie starring Bob Hoggins and John Leguizamo  
The Mushroom trophy  
The _Mario Kart: Double Dash_ video game

Farewell! May fortune flood your stories, folks!  
Gamer21


	12. From the Mushroom Kingdom to Rogueport

Well, well, here it is, folks: the double-chapter length finale of the _Amazing Race_! Glad to see that so many people enjoyed my story...70 reviews! (bows with deep appreciation) Here we go!

**Responses:**

**_The Author_**: Well, glad to see you enjoy Roy and Lilina winning...and don't use that penname. Then people would get confused.

**_LegoMan727_**: Yep, see you there. And sure, you can use this idea for your Tales of Symphonia story! Just be sure to give me credit for the idea, ok? I'd be offended if you didn't use this idea!

**_maguskoopa_**: You are very late. The contest ended ages ago!

**_jliak sclice_**: You are also very late. The contest ended ages ago!

**_HyperMew_**: I apologize, but the co-host contest ended ages ago! But, since you asked nicely, take this as a gift. (hands him a copy of Double Dash) If Roy and **Lilina **end up winning...you will have to stick around to find that out.

**_Anters_**: Good, good. I'm glad to see you're enjoying this as much as I am. And I'm glad to see you like what I put about you in my profile!

* * *

**Backstage...**

"Yay! We're nearing the finale!" Nintendo Nut1 announced. "Just two more legs to go!"

"Yes, and I look forward to seeing who wins, apparently..." Nintendo Nut1 about-faced and beheld a tall elf of 14 years, a smirk across his features. His brown hair and green eyes also reflected of his inconsistent personality, and his clothing was quite similar to Link: a light green tunic with a brown belt spanning his waist and long brown boots.

"WOW! You look so much like Link!"

"I know." He ran a hand through his hair, and said, "But my name doesn't reflect that. My name is luigifan2234. Now stop staring at me and let's move out!" luigifan2234 grabbed the poor girl by the wrist and dragged her off to the set of Amazing Race, not knowing what to expect this time around.

* * *

"This is the Mushroom Kingdom, one of the oldest continents to date here in the Nintendo Planet." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "And this is Princess Peach's Castle, which took the brunt of many of Bowser's attacks on the Mushroom Kingdom. A little ways away is Shooting Star Summit, the altar where the kingdom's denizens pray for the peace and security of the Mushroom Kingdom. This consecrated piece of land was the 10th Pit Stop in a race around the world."

"Teams who checked in last leg of the race obtained a mandatory rest period in which they can eat, sleep and mingle with the other teams." luigifan2234 finished. "Teams have no idea what's waiting for them in this leg of race and must use a system of clues to make their way to the Pit Stop. Pikachu and Pichu, who were the first to arrive at 7:59 am, will depart at 7:59 pm."

_Pikachu and Pichu  
1st to depart, 7:59 pm  
Location: Shooting Star Summit, Mushroom Kingdom  
_"Yay!" Pichu announced as he tore open the clue. "'Travel to the Marble Road outside the city of Toad Town...'"

"Teams must now make their way to Marble Road, a picturesque roadway of marble (duh!) that snakes its way into Koopa Village." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "Teams must then dredge the nearby Koopa River and search among rocks and water and locate plane tickets to the city of Rogueport the next morning. The flights depart at different times: 10, 10:30 and 11. Once a team has located a pair of plane tickets, they may not search anymore."

"Reaching this 'Marble Road' shouldn't be too hard." Pikachu noted as he spotted several markers pointing towards the castle gate. "Follow the arrows...we may locate the Marble Road that way."

"Gee, who would've figured...?" Pichu remarked.

_Roy and Lilina  
2nd to depart, 8:05 pm  
Location: Shooting Star Summit  
_"This place is beautiful..." Lilina said as she watched the glittering stars rush to the ground, breaking into stardust all around. "It's very romantic."

"Yep..." Roy said, tearing open the clue. "Marble Road? What kind of a name is that?"

"Who knows...?" Lilina wistfully said, staring off into the night sky.

_Link and Zelda  
3rd to depart, 8:15 pm  
Location: Shooting Star Summit  
_"Whoa...so beautiful..." Zelda remarked, as the star-kissed earth shone in all its brilliance from the stardust sprinkled around the mountain.

"Like you are." Link said as he kissed her on the forehead and read the clue. "Marble Road? What the devil is that?"

"Maybe we'll find out shortly..."

_Yoshi and DK  
Last to depart, 8:29 pm  
Location: Shooting Star Summit  
_"Man, I can't see a thing!" DK protested as he stumbled around the summit looking for a light.

"That's a problem..." Yoshi said as he used his pocket light to read the clue. "Marble Road? I wonder what that is?" His question was abruptly answered by a splitting of rock and a loud rumble that signaled a landslide. "What did you do now?"

"Sorry. I think I knocked over the mountain..." DK said. Yoshi watched as a huge piece of the mountain rumbled into the outflow river for Toad Town, clogging it effectively. "I didn't do nuthin'..." Yoshi just sighed and dragged his meatheaded companion out of the dark and to Marble Road.

**Marble Road, Pleasant Path**  
_Pikachu and Pichu  
Currently in 1st place  
_"Well, I don't see the road..." Pikachu squinted as tried to locate the road, without any glint of success. "Crap. It's too dark."

"Oh well. AUGH...!" Pichu yelled as he fell down a set of ledges cut into the cliff face like stairs. He fell down to the very bottom of the stairs and flew off into the Koopa River nearby. Pichu was struggling and screaming, "HELP! I'm stuck and cold and lost, WAH!" His foot got hooked on something in the cold, dark river. "HELP!"

"I'm coming!" With some effort and caution, Pikachu found the steps down to the river that Pichu was stuck in. It took more time to find Pichu, and twice as long to yoik him from the river. "You okay?"

"Yes..."

"Good, good...wait, what's on your leg?"

"AUGH! It's a slimy icky gross tentacle!" Upon closer inspection, there was a waterproof bag hooked on the poor Pokèmon's leg containing a familiar yellow envelope and two plane tickets for 10:00 am. "Oh, it's just a clue."

"Just a clue...gimme the bag!" Without warning, Pikachu grabbed the bag and Pichu's leg was unhooked, causing the poor Pichu to land headfirst in the soft ground. "'Fly to the city of Rogueport and locate the gallows...'"

"Teams must now use the plane tickets they obtained from the river and fly to the city of Rogueport." luigifan2234 said. "Once there, teams must locate this gallows in the center of town, where Gold Roger was hanged and thus began the search for his legendary treasure, One Piece. Once they find the gallows, teams will locate their next clue."

"Whoa! I didn't know that!" Pichu announced. "That's so cool..."

"Cool or not, we better get to the airport posthaste!" Pikachu said, stumbling around in the dark. "Now where are those stairs...?"

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: Marble Road, Pleasant Path  
_"Well, well, what ho, Pikachu!" Yoshi yelled to the electric mouse Pokèmon as it cursed vehemently due to its luck. "Don't be hating!"

"Oh, shut up..." Pikachu growled, obviously angry that Yoshi and DK caught up to them. "What troubles doth you bring us today?"

"Not much, I'm afraid..." Yoshi muttered as DK fell off the cliff and crash landed in the river. "DK, what did you do now?"

"Um...something...man, but people have to stop littering and dumping crap into the river." DK reported, dredging up the bag with the clue and 10:30 plane tickets.

"That's the clue, DK."

"Wha-really? Sweet!"

Yoshi sighed, sweatdropped, and rubbed his head to clear his mind. "Sometimes, I think you are just too much..."

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 3rd place  
__Location: Marble Road  
_"Talk about a show of sound..." Link said upon hearing the arguments between Yoshi's team and Pikachu's team. "This is stupid."

"All they ever do is argue..." Zelda agreed. "What's with them, huh?"

"Who knows...?" At this point, DK was stumbling around in the dark and landed on Zelda, who immediately screamed.

"EEK! It's cold and dark and wet and smelly, GET IT OFF!" Zelda soon stumbled out of the brush she was hiding in and crashed into Yoshi, sending all 3 into the river at the bottom of the cliff. "What's with you? Eew, I have trash on my head..."

"Haha! Sucks to be...wait, that's the clue, isn't it?" Upon closer examination, Zelda realized it was and told it to DK, who noticed the 11:00 plane tickets inside. "Phew. Disaster averted."

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in last place  
Location: Marble Road  
_"What a bunch of idiots." Roy noted as he and Lilina made their way to the cliff. By the time they reached it, everyone was just now hurrying off in the opposite direction. "At least we can search the river in peace..."

"Yep..." Lilina said. However, she tripped and sent them both into the river below, and they both came up choking and spluttering. "OH! I'm SO SORRY!"

"Good lord, how clumsy can you get...?" Roy spluttered, as he pulled out something caught in his ankle. "What the-hey, it's the clue and some plane tickets...11:00 am?"

"That's good..." When Lilina climbed out of the river, she noticed that Roy was staring at her indulgently, and she then realized it was because of the river incident that she tripped and fell into the river in the first place. Her clothes were completely soaked, and she noticed they stuck onto her body. She blushed somewhat. "R...Roy?"

"Huh? What? Oh, right..." Roy muttered as he grabbed her by her hand and dragged her towards Toad Town.

"All the teams are now on separate flights to Rogueport that leave at different times: 10, 10:30 and 11." Nintendo Nut1 said. "Once there, teams must locate the gallows made famous by One Piece to receive the next clue."

**Rogueport International  
Flight #1 from Mushroom Kingdom, 10:00 am**_  
Pikachu and Pichu  
Currently in 1st place  
_"There it is!" Pikachu said, pointing towards a clue box near the gallows in the center of town. "'Detour: Dirty Laundry or Clean Getaway...'"

"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams must choose between Dirty Laundry and Clean Getaway." luigifan2234 explained. "In Dirty Laundry, teams must meet with a contact in the back alleys of Rogueport and will be given a package. Teams must deliver that package to Ishnail, the leader of a gang called the Robbos, in the West Side in order to receive the clue. In Clean Getaway, teams will make their way to a hidden garage, also in the back alleys. Teams must then drive one of the new Aston Martin V12 Vanquishes to Don Pianta on the East Side. Once the delivery is complete, teams will obtain the next clue."

"Talk about strictly illegal..." Pikachu said. "A Clean Getaway will help greatly. Now where is the freakin' garage...?"

"I hope we can control it..." Pichu voiced.

15 minutes later, after finding the Vanquish

"MAKE IT STOP!" Pichu yelled as they ran over a Goomba on the nearby sidewalk. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

"I'm trying!" Pikachu yelled as they crashed through a fence and several barrels. "This isn't easy, you know!" He swerved around several more people and ran over a light post and a few chickens. "Damn it!"

"We seriously need driver's ed..." Pichu groaned as they crashed through a wooden scaffold, sending bricks, workers, and cement raining down behind them. "Oops!"

**Flight #2 from Mushroom Kingdom, 10:30 am  
**_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: The Gallows, Rogueport  
_"Yay! Outside!" Yoshi squealed as they stepped off the plane and onto the ground. "It feels so good to be out!"

"Isn't it always?" DK said as they strolled through the town.

"I suppose..." Yoshi said. "But it wouldn't hurt to stay inside, too, I guess..."

"OK, you lost me." DK said. He spotted the clue box near the gallows and changed the subject, saying, "Maybe the clue box will help us find the way...maybe not." He had read the clue, and he had a grim expression on his face.

"What is it...good lord; don't tell me we're becoming criminals!" Yoshi screamed.

"I hope not...delivering a package sounds a lot quicker than driving around in a car."

"Point taken. Now look for a suspicious dude who could be the contact!"

15 minutes after receiving the package

"Dis ain't good..." Yoshi squeaked. "We got 5-0's runnin' round the 'ole of da town."

"It also made us speakeasies..." DK muttered. "Man, it's like Snakes all (beep) up in 'ere, ya kno'?"

"Whateva' youse says, man...now where's my Gin and Juice? That little (beep) betta' be back wit my dr-iz-ink, that (beep)!"

"That was random..." DK muttered.

**Last Flight from Mushroom Kingdom  
**_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: The Gallows, Rogueport  
_"Damn, I hate when this happens..." Link muttered under his breath as he, Zelda, Roy and Lilina rushed over to the clue box and nearly ran it down trying to get the clue. "Dirty Laundry or Clean Getaway? What do they take us for, criminals?"

"Obviously..." Roy muttered under his breath. "I don't like the looks of it."

"I don't either, but we really don't have a choice." Lilina spit out. She growled, "Does everything have to be so controversial?"

"Well, they did say that controversy sells..." Zelda answered. "But what are we saying? We must complete the Detour or else!"

"YEAH!"

_Pikachu and Pichu  
Currently in 1st place  
Location: Downtown Rogueport  
_"Look, officer, I didn't do anything!" Pikachu protested as the officer listened to his story.

"These people beg to differ..." Looking out the window, Pikachu saw the utter destruction he had laid upon the downtown area; people run over, crashed stall and trash cans, even a collapsed building spoke for Pikachu, who was sweating profusely. "Now what are you going to do about this?"

"I-I don't know, officer..."

"You can either get a ticket, or say sorry to all these people that you nearly killed!" He didn't even have to finish his sentence; several seconds later, Pikachu was apologizing to everyone, even helping up some that he had run over. "Well, get out of here." Afterwards Pikachu hopped back into the Vanquish and drove off as best as he could, but not before Pichu said something:

"That's the 11th commandment: Honor all law enforcement lest thou layest in the street on thy belly with thine hands behind thy back cuffeth."

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: West Rogueport  
_"OH dear..." Yoshi said, looking around the whole of the city without any luck. "Where is that Ishnail dude?"

"Who knows? Let's just keep looking." DK muttered.

"Fine..."

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: Downtown Rogueport  
_"Hey, shit!" Link yelled as Zelda was being thrown about like a rag doll in the back seat. "Watch where you're going, you crazy idiot!"

"Link! What is with you today-ow!" Zelda said as her head slammed into the car roof.

"Pikachu and Pichu are driving again..." Link said, swerving out of the way to avoid hitting pedestrians and flying fruit. "They're crazy!"

"Gee, who would've guessed-yeowch! Stop swerving when I'm not ready!"

"I really don't have much of a choice, Zel!" Link protested, dodging some fallen barrels and crashed stalls.

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in last place  
Location: West Rogueport  
_"Quick! Follow DK and Yoshi!" Roy urged, hiding in the shadows and watching Yoshi and DK stumble around for Ishnail. "Okay, maybe not."

"They don't have any idea where they're going, are they?" Lilina asked.

"Nope." At this time, a humanoid snail stealthily came up behind them and said, 'BOO!', causing them to scream incessantly and to panic Yoshi.

"What was that?" Yoshi whirled around to face behind him, wielding a Mamba 12g.

"Probably a screaming beetle..." DK said, cowering behind Yoshi. "Hide me!"

"I don't like it...it sounded like murder..."

"RUN!" DK yelled, rushing into the street and tripping on an invisible something, crashing and planting his face into the ground. Yoshi followed suit, but he tripped over DK and got stuck in the door of a nearby house. Meanwhile, Roy and Lilina gave the package to Ishnail, the humanoid snail, and had received their next clue.

"Let's see...'Find the Lovely Howz of Badges...'"

"Teams must now locate the Lovely Howz of Badges in the main plaza of Rogueport." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "Teams must then purchase the clue from the manager. Clues are 25 coins."

"What kind of host charges people for clues, huh!" luigifan2234 yelled.

"SHUT UP!"

"That was interesting..." Roy said. "Let's find this Lovely Howz of Badges."

**Lovely Howz of Badges, Rogueport  
**_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in 1st place  
_"WHAT!"

"That's right." The manager said. "You must pay 25 coins to get the clue."

"Damn, you're expensive..." Roy grumbled, but handed them the 25 coins. He tore the clue open and read, "'Deep underground is the Thousand-Year Door, a place known to many Rogueporters as a place of treasure, mystery and intrigue...'"

"Teams must make their way to the Rogueport underground and locate the Thousand-Year Door, where the legendary treasure of Rogueport sleeps." luigifan2234 said. "Once there, the teams will get the next clue."

"Whoa..." Roy said, too confused to even think. "Let's go...AUGH!"

"I think he forgot we were two stories up..." Lilina said, looking down at the crumpled Roy, who was unconscious due to his fall. "...oops!"

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: The Lovely Howz of Badges, Rogueport  
_"I don't like doors..." Yoshi muttered. "Especially narrow ones."

"Don't we all?" DK said as they entered the store

"Let's see..." Yoshi said, staring at the various items in the shelves. "DK, the guy wants 25 coins for the clue."

"He's too expensive..." DK muttered, forking over the coin and getting the clue in return. "I swear, these people-hey, dude, you know where the Thousand-Year Door is?"

"It is in the Rogueport underground. Why?" the manager asked.

"Thanks. Now where is that?" DK asked, just as baffled as before.

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: The Lovely Howz of Badges, Rogueport  
_"Man, this is highway robbery!" Link yelled at the manager. "What do you take us for?"

"Very gullible people." The manager said.

"Oh, grow up!" Zelda yelled. "I bet some car will crash in here and ruin you!"

"How can that happen?" Link asked Zelda. "Besides, we're two stories up."

"It will happen." She should really watch what she wishes, for Pikachu and Pichu somehow managed to drive the Vanquish car onto the roofs and was now driving erratically on them, knocking over chimneys and roof decorations. Pichu was yelling and arguing with Pikachu about their driving skills; Pikachu didn't look where he was driving and crashed through the wall of the badge shop, sending badges, merchandise, and debris swirling around Link and Zelda. "Holy shit!"

"Zel, did you just cuss?" Link spouted in disbelief. Zelda was frantically shaking her head no, as if to deny the allogation.

"N-no, I didn't!" Zelda said, fighting back embarrassment and failing miserably.

"I knew it, you cussed!" At this point, the doors of the Vanquish flew open and Pikachu and Pichu fell out of the car, cursing and stumbling around to regain their bearings.

"I told you we had to make a right at the train, but no! You had to use the ramp and jump the roofs, huh?" Pichu squeaked. "Now we're stuck in a frickin' shop all because you couldn't ask for frickin' directions!"

"It's no fault of mine; you were supposed to be my navigator!" Pikachu retorted. "If you hadn't fallen asleep at the damn gas station, I would've-"

"You're the driver! It's your responsibility to-"

"Um..." Zelda interrupted, and all eyes turned to her. She found their stares unnerving. "You do know that the drop-off point is that way, near the Pianta Parlor?" She pointed in the direction of the Pianta Syndicate's HQ. "Just follow the neon to the parlor."

"Thank you, Zelda!" Pichu felt vindicated. "I told you we had to turn right at the train!" Pichu had hopped back into the car, Pikachu behind him muttering curses, and they drove through the other wall and onto the street below, leaving splintered wood, badges, glass and debris strewn about the floor.

"At least we can get the clue now." Link reached over the counter and snatched the clue.

**The Thousand-Year Door**  
_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place  
_"Well, there's the clue." DK tore it open and read, "'Road Block: Who's ready to explore the past?'"

"A Road Bock is a task only one person may perform, and no one person can do more than six in the whole race." Nintendo Nut1 stated. "In this Road Block, that person must use clues in a satchel given to them by an archaeologist to locate a specific place, where they will pick up an artifact. That person must safely transport the artifact back to the archaeologist to receive the next clue."

"Ooh, I wanna dig up stuff!" DK said, snatching the satchel from the archaeologist and reading the clues. "'Go to the square, young waverer, and find the next clue at the fountain.'"

"Good luck!" Yoshi cheered.

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: Rogueport Underground  
_"Whoa, talk about huge..." Lilina stuttered. "Why did I volunteer for the Road Block? It's so creepy and cold..."

"BOO!" DK said, scaring the poor girl straight into a faint. "Oops...I didn't do anything!"

"Hey, DK!" Pichu said, waving at the large ape. "You doing the Road Block, too?"

"AUGH! I'm not doing anything odd or suspicious..."

"I never asked about that..." Pichu said, staring at DK with polite incredulity. "Who's that?"

_Crap..._ "Oh, no one." DK rushed. "Oh, look at the time, I gotta go I don't even have time to say good-" Before he could say 'bye,' DK rushed off towards a door, but forgot to duck and smacked headfirst into it, falling over unconscious. "Easy squeezy lemon peezy..."

"O-kay, I'll leave you alone now..." Pichu sweatdropped and looked at the map. "Now where is that fountain?"

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: The Square, Rogueport Underground  
_"Talk about a maze..." Zelda muttered with a hint of fear in her voice. "'100 monsters wait for thee, in it exuents only one of three...' What's that supposed to mean?"

"Absolutely nothing." DK said, scaring poor Zelda into hiding. "Crap...I feel so unloved..."

"What the hell was that all about?" Zelda asked. Coming out of the ruin she was hiding in, she tripped on something, which gave a loud 'PICHU!'

"AIEEEEE!" Zelda screamed, fainting on the spot.

"Oops...that's a hit!" Pichu said, rubbing its side from where Zelda tripped on it. "Ow..."

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place  
Location: The Pit of 100 Trials, Rogueport Underground  
_"Two down...'Well done, now head to the Thousand-Year Door with the necklace hanging off one of the walls.'" Looking around, DK spotted a shiny metal neckpiece hanging on one of the walls and grabbed. He then took it to the archaeologist, who gave him the clue. "Yes! 'Travel to the final Pit Stop in this race, the Excess Express...'"

"Teams must now make their way to the final Pit Stop in this race, the Excess Express." luigifan2234 said. "This opulent train runs through Rogueport and is known as the ritziest train ever conceived in the minds of men. This train is the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in will be eliminated. WHOO-HOO! Dance, dance, dance..."

"That's a little annoying..." Nintendo Nut1 said.

"Look who's talking!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Well, off to the Pit Stop, then." Yoshi said, reading the clue with DK. "Now where's the exit?"

**The Excess Express, Rogueport  
**"So, who do you want to win?" luigifan2234 asked Nintendo Nut1.

"Link! Definitely Link..." Nintendo Nut1 swooned at the very mention of his name. "It would be so cool for him to win, YAY!"

"Of course..." luigifan2234 ran a hand through his brown hair. "I find that believable, yet I find it a little laughable, as well."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!" Before she could run her fist through his jawbone, Yoshi and DK had run up to the world mat. She quickly released her anger and said, "Yoshi and DK, you are the first team to arrive!"

"YAY!" Yoshi squealed. He then noticed something. "Where's the presentor dude? He supposed to give us the Souvenir Set!"

"Here..." luigifan2234 said. He dragged over 4 boxes of items, all decorated with the mushroom, the eternal symbol of the Mario World. Tearing it open at once, they pulled out various books, figurines, miniatures, and the like. They squealed with joy and watched as Link and Zelda and Roy and Lilina run up to the world mat, leaving the Pokèmon in last place.

"Pikachu and Pichu, you are the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race." Nintendo Nut1 gave them a Souvenir Set and the 4th place prize, $12,500, and watched as they sulked off, sad because of the elimination.

"Well, we gave it our all and lost." Pikachu said.

"Hey, we still had fun on that race!" Pichu replied. He held up the sack. "Look! Money!"

* * *

"Now things get intense." Yoshi said to the readers. "We managed to stay this long in the race, and it all comes to the final dash to the finish line."

"We are so close to the finish that we can practically taste it!" DK announced happily.

"That's the banana you're eating."

"Oh yeah."

* * *

"The final struggle is in sight." Roy reported. "There were 14 of us teams and now it's down to the final 3."

"And we don't plan on losing, either! We'll win!" Lilina boldly declared.

"Of course! Listen to us! We march to the finish line, and we will win!"

* * *

"Well, well, the time is right for a battle." Link said. "I think we will win, hands down."

"Of course. Nothing stood in our way during the race, and nothing will now!" Zelda agreed.

"The final confrontation is but a whisper away...We shall see what becomes of us."

* * *

Nintendo Nut1 said, "These are the three teams left. Who will win the $1,000,000 in the final rush to the finish line? Stay tuned and find out!" 


	13. Finale: From Rogueport to Neonopolis

Geez...I never thought I had to upload the finale in 2 parts...the login area doesn't work, so, um, yeah.

**Responses:**

If I have any responses after I uploaded the previous, it'd be by the grace of God.

* * *

**Backstage...**

"By the way, luigifan2234, why didn't you leave yet?" Nintendo Nut1 asked. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Oh, that. It's because-"

"It's because of the new tradition." Both whirled to behold a young man of 14 wearing a fashionable ivory suit with a blue stripe running down the side and silver running shoes. He had shoulder length blonde and red-tipped hair, brown-blue eyes, a pair of eagle wings on his back, and a weird mechanical eyepiece covering his right eye. His look was finished off with a red cloak and scabbards and holsters, for his rapier and two MP5s. He smirked when he saw the two. "It's a new game now."

"Who invited you on set, anyway?" Nintendo Nut1 asked. "I never saw you!"

"Is that really any way to address the author? I'm crushed." It took a full five minutes for what he said to sink in for Nintendo Nut1, and she was amazed.

"Gamer21! You're here too!"

"Well, a avatar of me is here right now. I felt it my duty to appear on my own story and keep watch to see that you don't do anything stupid." Gamer21 said, passing by a blue table. "Of course, you haven't done anything stupid yet..."

"Damn right!"

"Whoa! Geesh, don't take your anger out on me! Besides, I brought some company."

"Remember me, Nintendo Nut1?" a voice asked through a jerky stick. Nintendo Nut1 instantly recognized it.

"Ack! It's CronoMaster!"

"YAY! Yoshi's still here! Woo-HOO!" a girl's voice rang out.

"Anters..." luigifan2234 said. "Who'd've thought it?"

"Hihi! I brought Mewtwo!" another girl announced, dragging the psychic Pokèmon with her.

"Zephyr Analea...goodness me, she brought her Mewtwo along for the ride." Gamer21 said with polite incredulity.

"All right, who eliminated Pikachu and Pichu last round, huh?" a voice yelled angrily as a mob of purple Pikmin followed him, knocking over studio equipment and the like as they tramped behind the voice's owner.

"Crap...it is LegoMan727 and his purple Pikmin mafia." Gamer21 balefully muttered. "Where's my MP5...?"

"Don't forget me." The blue table morphed into a human shape to reveal...

"It's superdave!" Nintendo Nut1 shrieked.

"Roy-sama is still in the race! I hope he wins!" another girl announced.

"IloveRoy's back..." Gamer21 said, preparing his MP5 for battle.

"Well, well. Nintendo Nut1 isn't drunk anymore." An alien announced.

"Doubledude, give it a rest already!" she retorted.

"Marth-sama is with me! YAY!" a girl screamed, dragging Marth with her and Sheeda following close behind.

"It is Anase the Shadow Alchemist." luigifan2234 said. "And she's obsessed."

"Yo, my homies, give it up for the man, woot WOOT!" Luigi yelled in a gangster tone, followed by Mario, Dr. Mario and...

"ShadowHawkX3's back! Tell a friend!" luigifan2234 announced in a sing-song voice.

"Hoo boy...there are a lot of authors running around the set." Nintendo Nut1 sweatdropped, as she saw CronoMaster and luigifan2234 engage in a furious staring contest. "YAYS! I can go crazy with someone else!"

"Just not too crazy..." Gamer21 quipped as he made his way onto the set.

* * *

"In the first leg of the _Amazing Race_, teams made their way from the Grand Metropolis in the Smash Island to the lands of Hyrule and Termina, made famous by the _Legend of Zelda_ games." Nintendo Nut1 explained. "Teams had to put up with Pikachu and Pichu's driving en route to the airport and endure digging up sand dunesTeams enjoyed an exhilarating zipline course through Clock Town, and Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch were the first team eliminated."

"_Man, I guess we were overconfident, and I hate being sent home, but I guess this wasn't our day." Captain Falcon remarked._

"The next leg of the race took teams to the continent of Eagleland, made famous by the _Earthbound_ series." CronoMaster continued. "Ness reminisced about the memories of his hometown, ate a huge pizza at the local parlor, and clean up their acts at the Monotoli building. Popo and Nana were the next eliminated on the race." CronoMaster completed.

"_I just wanted to see the world with my sis, and I feel the Amazing Race brought us together, so we have no regrets." Popo said._

"_I'm glad to have been with my brother on the Amazing Race." Nana sobbed._

"Petalburg City was the next destination for the teams as things got to a rocky start between the Mario Bros. and Roy and Lilina." Anters elaborated. "Things didn't get any better after the Road Block area nearly collapsed on the teams, and a car crash ended Kirby and Jigglypuff's time on the race."

"_I guess it was fun while it lasted, and I'm glad to have been with Jigglypuff." Kirby said._

"_Same here." Jigglypuff replied, kissing Kirby._

"_Aw, shucks..."_

"Alto Mare, the jewel of the seas, was turned upside-down by the teams. Things got a little dicey at the disco in Petalburg, and a bad move by Bowser and Ganondorf sent them reeling by Pikachu's fury, putting them in last place." Zephyr Analea finished, brushing some of her violet locks out of her eyes.

"_Well, that was fun..." Ganondorf quipped._

"_Yeah, that last decision came back to bite us, literally." Bowser agreed. "But it's been cool to be on the Amazing Race."_

"_Indeed..."_

"Teams traveled to Corneria City the next time to get ahead on the race." LegoMan727 continued. "A rift erupted between the teams in the form of an all-out war on the freeway, and Nintendo Nut1 here jacked a LandMaster Tank." he added, pointing to Nintendo Nut1.

"Oh, that was fun..."

"Fun for you, but not for us...anyway, then, Yoshi caused teams to crash at the Road Block, putting Peach and Samus in last place." LegoMan727 finished.

"_Man, we just wanted to have a great time, and they were just mean..." Peach sniffled._

"_It's okay, we're still good..." Samus comforted._

superdave continued, "The next leg took the teams to Ostia, where Nintendo Nut1 had the dubious pleasure of making out with Link. Teams then had to put up with a harvest festival, and an attempted hijacking en route to Castle Ostia. Young Link and Dr. Mario, sadly, was the last two to arrive and were eliminated from the race." superdave finished.

"_Well, that was fun while it lasted, but I guess I wanted to go all the way..." Young Link balefully muttered._

"Pherae greeted the teams as their next destination as teams put up with a Broadway courtesy of Fox and Falco, and Mario and Luigi were the last to arrive." IloveRoy commented.

"_Well-a, I'm-a glad-a to have-a been with-a my brother on Amazing Race. That's-a all I can say." Mario replied, hugging his brother._

"In Yoshi's Island, Nintendo Nut1 decided not to show up because she got high on Russian chocolate." doubledude muttered bluntly as Nintendo Nut1 made a rude gesture with her right hand. "Things got worse when their friends disappeared, and Fox and Falco were to blame for the whole mess, getting themselves disqualified from the race." doubledude finished.

"_Damn, that's what we get for pulling crap like that..." Falco muttered._

"The next leg didn't improve a bit." Anase the Shadow Alchemist continued. "Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch tried to blow up the Potion Factory the teams were at, and Captain Falcon took an attempt of holding someone hostage and failed. Unfortunately, Marth and Sheeda were eliminated, but they were awarded a cash prize for their progress. YAY!" Anase cheered.

"_I speak on behalf of the author." The voice said. "He has heard what you said, and he looks on you with favor. He presents you with this." A burlap sack fell out of the sky at that moment, and Marth and Sheeda opened it to reveal wads of hundred dollar bills. They gasped, and Anase smiled brightly. "He has given you the 6th place monetary reward of $3,125 for you. Take it as you so please." The light soon disappeared as clouds moved across the night sky, as if nothing happened._

"The Mushroom Kingdom was the teams' next destination for the race. Many teams were rather concerned about the little DDR contest, and Ness and Mewtwo were sadly eliminated." ShadowHawkX3 added.

"NO! WHY?" Zephyr Analea yelled.

"_Well, we tried our best and got this far...I have no regrets." Mewtwo said._

"The final race leg was at the thieves' hideout of Rogueport." luigifan2234 said. "Pikachu and Pichu struck back with their crazy driving, and nearly got ticketed by an officer for doing so. In the end, they were eliminated from the race." luigifan2234 finished.

"DAMN IT ALL!" LegoMan727 yelled.

"_Well, we gave it our all and lost." Pikachu said._

"Now, as the _Amazing Race_ draws to its final confrontation, three teams are left standing as they near the finish line." Gamer21 announced. "Who will overtake the teams and win the million dollars? And does Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch have one more trick up their sleeve? Find out today on the finale of _Amazing Race_!"

* * *

"This is Rogueport, the thieves' hideout eternal for the Mushroom Kingdom." Nintendo Nut1 said. "This city was once a resplendent city, destroyed by a demon a thousand years ago and rebuilt and revamped into the slum-like burg it is today. And this is the Excess Express, an extravagantly decorated train that runs trips from Rogueport to nearby Poshley Heights. This train was the final Pit Stop in a race around the world." She stopped to catch her breath, popped a chocolate into her mouth, and continued, "Teams who checked in last leg of the race obtained a mandatory rest period in which they can eat, sleep and mingle with the other teams. They have no idea what's waiting for them in this leg of race and must use a system of clues to make their way to the Finish Line. Yoshi and DK, who were the first to arrive at 11:30 am, will depart at 11:30 pm."

_Yoshi and DK  
1st to depart, 11:30 pm  
Location: The Excess Express, Rogueport  
_"Man, I'm nervous...it all came down to this..." Yoshi squeaked. "Here we go! 'You are now bound for the burg of Poshley Heights. Once the train stops, locate the Poshley Sanctum...'"

"Teams must now head to the Poshley Sanctum in Poshley Heights." CronoMaster said. "Once there, teams must search the sanctum for the next clue." He then heard the sounds of an argument behind him. "What on...?"

"Nu-uh! Roy's cuter!" IloveRoy protested to Anase.

"Marth's the hottest of them all!" Anase shouted.

"What the hell...?" CronoMaster asked.

"They're arguing over who's the hotter FE swordsman in SSB: M." Gamer21 informed him. "A bit of a nasty turn-up, eh?" Both he and CronoMaster continued to watch.

"...at least Marth isn't a pansy-boy!" Anase teased.

"Shut up, you cross-dresser dater!" IloveRoy shouted.

"It was a dare!" Marth retorted, and every pair of eyes in the room turned to him. "What?"

"See?" IloveRoy said. "That proves my point."

"It doesn't prove anything!" Anase protested loudly, clutching Marth. "Look at him. Does he look like he could tell a lie?"

"YES!" IloveRoy growled. She noticed Nintendo Nut1 walk by and she asked, "Nintendo Nut! Isn't Roy the hottest of the group?"

"No, Link is!" she beamed.

"You're all so stupid." CronoMaster said, loud enough for the three fangirls to hear. "You're all in high school, and you have crushes on video game characters? Bah! How pathetic can you be?" Suddenly, every eye, even the Smashers on set, turned to CronoMaster, and you could hear teeth grinding from the three fangirls. "What?"

"Bad move, Crono." ShadowHawkX3 whispered in his ear. "Never insult a fan girl's bishounen."

"Or what? What can they possibly do to-?"

"ATTACK!" Before CronoMaster could finish his sentence, Nintendo Nut1, IloveRoy and Anase the Shadow Alchemist unsheathed their weapons and charged full speed at Crono. He literally freaked out and ran for the nearest sanctuary, the boys' rest room. The three fangirls circled the doorway like hawks on prey. ShadowHawkX3 just sighed.

"I tried to warn him..."

"That was...interesting." Yoshi said.

"Sucks to be Crono." DK agreed. "Now when does this train reach Poshley Heights, anyway?"

_Link and Zelda  
2nd to depart, 11:48 pm  
Location: The Excess Express  
_"Well, well, now the final confrontation is upon us. So, the clue says..." Link tore it open and began to read. "Poshley Heights? We get there in two days, am I right?"

"You are..." Zelda said.

"Back to sleep, then." Link said, climbing into the train bed and burrowing under the covers.

_Roy and Lilina  
Last to depart, 11:52 pm  
Location: The Excess Express  
_"Poshley Heights...isn't that our destination?" Roy asked.

"Yes...we should get there in three days." Lilina answered. Getting no response, she turned around and noticed that Roy had gone back to sleep. She giggled. "Roy, you never change..."

**Poshley Sanctum, Poshley Heights  
**"Beep beep beep..." a mysterious figure said.  
(If you've been following the story, you should know who he is!)

"Shut up." A second figure retorted. He hooked up the wires, and snickered after basking in his work. "Now the teams will have a rather explosive experience...mwahahahahaha!" He continued laughing maniacally for the rest of the night, and then stalked off at daybreak.

"This is going to be good, hahaha."

**Poshley Sanctum, Poshley Heights  
****2 days later  
**_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 1st place  
_"Woo-HOO! We're here, finally!" An overjoyed Yoshi announced. He then pranced over to the Poshley Sanctum with DK lagging behind, breaking more than a sweat when they got to the opulent temple. "Let's get the clue!"

"I don't know...for some reason, I'm getting a bad feeling about this..." DK muttered balefully. "I think it's unsafe..."

"Oh, come on! The clue's inside!" Yoshi protested. "We'll fall behind if we don't get it!" Before he could even pass the fountain, he felt something hold him and send him crashing to the ground. "DK! What are you doing?"

"I don't want to let you go! It's dangerous!"

"You stupid monkey, if I-!" No sooner did the words come out that a huge explosion erupted from the Poshley Sanctum. It destroyed the windows and sent the doors shooting out of the museum, splashing into the nearby fountain. Pillar sections and entire pieces of walls shot forth, damaging anything and everything they collided with. Yoshi's jaw went agape, and DK muttered, "See? I told you something bad would happen!"

"Holy crap..." Yoshi squeaked as a stone from the sanctum landed three feet from them. "That was close! Thanks, Deek, sorry about earlier..."

"Don't call me 'Deek', Yoshi. I no like!" DK then noticed Link, Zelda, Roy and Lilina run in towards them. "We had a rather explosive experience today."

"Are you okay?" Zelda asked, glancing at one and the other. "You don't look hurt..."

"We're fine, ok?" Yoshi said. "But the clues got burned up!"

"Ah...man..." Lilina groaned. No sooner had they said that, however, a bundle of three clues landed in Roy's arms. Needless to say, he was besieged by the other Smashers in an effort to get the clue. Link and Zelda managed to get the clue, run away to the train, hop on board, tear it open, and read it. "'Use the enclosed free time plane tickets to travel to Mute City...'"

"Teams must now board a flight to Mute City via any airplane at any time, hence the 'free time' term." Anters said. "Once there-ow!" She was abruptly hit with a baseball, and rubbed the sore spot gingerly with a towel. "What the hell?"

"Sorry!" doubledude yelled. "That's a hit!"

"A hit is a hit by any other name..." Anters growled. She continued, "Once there, teams must locate the racetrack in order to find the next clue-is Crono still in the restroom?" she asked Zephyr Analea.

"They've been guarding it like hawks ever since he ran inside..." she said, watching Nintendo Nut1, IloveRoy and Anase pace around the doorway.

"To Mute City we go!" Link proclaimed loudly as the train left.

"DAMMIT!" Roy yelled as the train left without them. "This sucks!"

**Rogueport International Airport  
**_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 1st place  
_"Excuse me, when is the next flight for Mute City leaving?" Link asked the ticket clerk. "We're in a rush."

"Isn't everyone?" the ticket lady said. "I hate to burst your bubble, but the last flight just left 2 minutes ago. We can put you on the 1:30 flight, though."

"Crap, the others will catch up." Zelda muttered, smashing her fist into her hand.

1 hour later

"See? What did I tell you?" Zelda complained as the other teams boarded the flight with them.

"All the teams are now on their way to Mute City, where the famed F-Zero Grand Prix is located." Zephyr Analea said. "Once there, teams will have to locate the racetrack in order to receive their next clue." She then asked superdave, "Where's Mewtwo?"

"Last I saw, he was talking with Nintendo Nut1-"

"WHAT!" She stormed over to where Mewtwo and Nintendo Nut1 were talking and abruptly slapped him. "How dare you! You were mine! You left for this...this...this..."

"If you're going to say what I think you're saying, it's a misunderstanding." Mewtwo calmly said. "I was just asking her what sign she is so I can do her horoscope."

"Oh...sorry!" Zephyr Analea said, leaving a confused Nintendo Nut and Mewtwo behind.

**Mute City International  
Tethe'alla Flight 728 from Rogueport  
**_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 1st place  
_"Yo, taxi!" Link hollered. Having obtained one, he and Zelda hopped in and commanded, "To the racetrack!"

"This should be fun!" Zelda giggled like a schoolgirl. "HELLO, MUTE CITY!" Link just shook his head in disbelief.

"You've gone mad..."

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: A highway en route to the Mute City Racetrack  
_"Pass 'em!" Yoshi yelled at the driver. "We're in a race!"

"I'm going as fast as I can!" the driver protested. "I'm just stuck behind this stupid semi..."

"This'll take forever..." DK muttered in disappointment.

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in last place  
Location: A highway en route to the Mute City Racetrack  
_"Racing, huh...this'll be interesting." Roy muttered. "But I don't think I know how to race inside one of those crazy F-Zero machines..."

"Good luck, because I already used up all my Road Blocks." Lilina said.

"Woe is me..." Roy said.

**Mute City Racetrack  
**_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in 1st place  
_"Good, there's a clue." Link said as he tore it open and read. "'Road Block: Who's ready to burn up the track?'"

"A Road Block is a task only one person may perform, and no one person can do more than six in the whole race." LegoMan727 said. "In this Road Block, teams must race three laps around this Mute City oval track course and finish in 1:20 or less. When they have successfully completed this task, the referee will award them the next clue. Now, Gamer21, take this! PURPLE PIKMIN CHARGE!" he yelled as 100 or so purple Pikmin charged at the author. But he grinned and teased LegoMan727.

"What's so funny, huh?"

"This!" Gamer21 shouted. "RELEASE THE DOOMSDAY DEVICE!"

"RELEASING DOOMSDAY DEVICE!" doubledude yelled.

"This doesn't sound good..." Zephyr Analea muttered. A huge hatch opened up in the studio's roof, and a giant rusty blue barbell crashed down in front of the Pikmin. Being the treasure collectors they were, they completely ignored LegoMan727's spluttering complaints and hoisted up the Doomsday Apparatus (as the barbell is called in the Pikmin 2 game), moving a minimum of 2 inches a minute.

"They'll be taking their sweet time on that heavy-ass shit." Gamer21 said triumphantly. "I'm prepared to face whatever you throw at me."

"C-crap..." LegoMan727 growled, kicking over a nearby director's chair. "Damn you!"

"Crap...I have to do it..." Roy muttered. "Wish me luck!"

"GO ROY!" IloveRoy yelled offstage.

"Start your engines!" the referee shouted to Link, DK and Roy as the robot counted down from three. Time itself seemed to stop as Roy steeled himself for the race and watched Link and DK furiously glare at the other. After what seemed like several years, the light turned green and they were off. Roy forgot to put the stick in drive, though, and crashed into DK and Link's machines by accident, pushing them into the wall.

"Sorry!" Roy yelled.

"You little..." Things were pretty quiet the first two laps. But it was the third and final lap that caught everyone's attention. Link and DK were neck and neck, and poor Roy was a little behind, to say the least. Link and DK were furiously smashing into the other's machines, trying to run the other off the road.

"I will win!" DK asserted.

"Please!" Link retorted. "I'll let you touch the winner's cup, how does that sound?"

"Shut up!" While they were arguing, Roy was trying to speed up as to not repeat the whole Road Block again. He was nervously fiddling with the various buttons as sweat dribbled down his face. Then things got bad.

"How can things get any worse?" IloveRoy said.

Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch had sped onto the track in a crazy flying machine and fired several missiles onto the track, effectively destroying it. Link was the first to notice and swerved out of the way of the destroyed portions of track. "What the fuck!"

"Whoa! What in Wrinkly Kong is going on?" DK agreed.

"Holy Saint Elimine...I saw Captain Falcon in that crazy flying machine that bombed the track!" Roy answered.

"Damn it!" DK yelled. "This is crazy! What's that guy's problem, huh?"

"He's gone mad for money, that's what!" Roy retorted. "I bet he also planted the bomb at the Poshley Sanctum, as well!"

"That ingrate! I'll show him!" By this time, all the machines had safely traversed the course within one minute and twenty seconds, and were given the clues. "That was fun... 'Make your way to the Bet & Race Dollars Pub...'"

"Again, self-explanatory." superdave said. "Teams must now make their way to the Bet & Race Dollars Pub, famous for being a local teen hangout here in Mute City. Once the teams have located the pub, they will find their next clue." A sound of clattering was heard as Anase somehow caught her foot in a rope and released a sandbag, sending her hanging upside-down in the studio. "What the hell?"

"This is crazy..." luigifan2234 said. "There's too many people back here! There's practically chaos everywhere!"

"Yes, but that's the fun of it." Gamer21 smirked. "It's the unexpected that's always the most amusing." They watched ShadowHawkX3 run around the studio, yelling weird assertions and cursing in a foreign language. "See what I mean?"

"I guess..."

"I need some Don Perrion to calm my nerves..." Zelda said. "You nearly got killed!"

"Yeah, I think we all need something..." Link agreed, watching Lilina cuddle Roy in worry. "We all need some calming..."

**Bet & Race Dollars Pub, Mute City  
**As it turned out, the teams couldn't access the pub. So they were stomping about and causing a ruckus.

"YOU SUCK!" DK yelled at the bouncer.

"Let it go, DK. That won't help anyone here." Link said. "This is crazy. Falcon must be punished for the shit he tried to pull."

"That's what I said!" LegoMan727 yelled offstage.

"Well, we might as well leave-ack!" Lilina tripped on the clue box and landed face-first on the asphalt. "Ouch...hey, it's the clue box!"

"What? Where?" Yoshi asked.

"Right here..." Zelda said, annoyed, pointing to where Lilina had tripped. While Roy was helping her up, the other teams had swarmed the clue box like bees to a flower, and tore open the clues at once. "'Make your way to your final destination: Neonopolis...'"

"Teams must make their way to the final destination: Neonopolis." Gamer21 said. "A large city known for casinos, gambling and lights, this city is known as the 'Vegas of Nintendo' because of the striking resemblance to Las Vegas in the real world. Once the teams land, they must locate the Aizawa Boardwalk, famous for its sunsets, and find the clue there."

"Finally! We're out of this madhouse!" DK cheered as the teams rushed off to the airport. They booked the same flight, so it was back to square one for all of them.

"All the teams are now on their way to the city of Neonopolis, on the Smash Island." IloveRoy announced. "Once there, teams must find the Aizawa Boardwalk to receive their next clue. GO ROY!"

"KICK THEM ASSES, ROY! YEAH!" ShadowHawkX3 agreed.

"Gah!" doubledude yelled. "Must you all be so fuckin' noisy?"

"Shut up!" Nintendo Nut1 yelled at the alien.

"He doesn't understand 'fun', apparently." CronoMaster said, to which doubledude told him to stow it.

**Smash Island International Airport, Neonopolis  
****Cappy Town Flight 352 from Mute City  
**_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 1st place  
_"Jesus Christ, this place looks crazy!" Link shouted. Crazy, indeed. The airport was full of glimmering neon, people in outlandish costumes, and loud voices. Things were more hectic outside; some of the buildings looked like Isle Delfino, a castle, a space station, and Tokyo. "Those must be the casinos Gamer21 mentioned. They actually look pretty cool, especially that green one." He pointed to a tall green building to the East, which had a lookout tower of sorts on its roof.

"Well, at least we're back on the Smash Island now..." Zelda said.

"Let's just get to the boardwalk before the other teams reach it first..." Link answered.

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: The Neon Highway, 2 miles from the Aizawa Boardwalk  
_"What on earth?" Roy said as he looked out the window. There was a weather-beaten truck swerving and driving erratically down the highway. The cab driver was, a little pissed, to put it lightly.

"Get off the road, you muthafuckin' rednecks!"

"Lookie, Vern! Them cab drivers is hollerin' at us! Where's my shotgun?"

"Holy..." Lilina screamed as she ducked under the seat. "They're trying to kill us!"

"DRIVE, CAB DRIVER, DRIVE!" Roy yelled at the driver as shotgun shells whistled through the cab.

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in 3rd place  
Location: The Neon Highway  
_"Whoa!" Yoshi squeaked as they dodged a shotgun shell and an erratic driver. "What the hell is with these people, huh?"

"They're as drunk as Russians. What do you think?" DK muttered. "Augh, this is some fucked up shit!"

"Indeed..." Yoshi concurred.

_Link and Zelda  
Currently in 1st place  
Location: The Aizawa Boardwalk  
_"There's the clue." Link said, pointing to a clue box at the edge of the pier. Worming his way to it, he grabbed a clue, rendezvoused with Zelda and read, "'Make your way to the Third Encore Recording Studios...'"

"Teams must now locate the Third Encore Recording Studios here in Neonopolis, where famous artists such as Denver B., Unda-izzo and Voules Vous made their now famous smash albums." ShadowHawkX3 announced. "Once there, teams will find the clue across the street from the building."

"To the studios, then." Link said. He basically strolled off the set and left the building, Zelda following close behind.

"What the hell are they doing? They can't just walk off the set!" CronoMaster fumed.

"Relax." doubledude said. "This _is_ the Third Encore place."

"It is?" CronoMaster asked. "I thought it was the Capitol Records building in L.A.!"

"Some of the places and buildings here on the Smash Island bear a strong resemblance to that on Earth." Gamer21 told him. "I told Nintendo Nut1 to place the clue box outside, but she hasn't come back yet..." No sooner had he said this, Link came back, hair and clothes messed up, and part of his tunic was unbuttoned. Nintendo Nut1 strolled in, hair and clothes also tousled, and she was licking her lips. Zelda pouted in, shaking her fist at the author and yelling Hylian cuss words. "Okay, I don't even want to know what the hell just happened..."

"..." Link just watched the two and read the clue. "'Detour: Light or Sound...'"

"A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, teams must choose between Light or Sound." doubledude explained. "In Light,-"

"In Light, teams must travel 2 miles to the Ruby Island Hotel and Casino, which bears a strong resemblance to the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas, Nevada." Anase the Shadow Alchemist said. "Once there, teams must search the neon for the clue." You could see doubledude's vein pop. "What?"

"WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS HOGGING MY SPOTLIGHT!" he yelled, pulling on both sides of Anase's face.

"Why are joo streccchhing meh?" Anase whined.

"Break it up!" Marth yelled, separating the two. "Anase, are you okay?"

"My hero!" Anase shouted gleefully, swooning into Marth's arms.

"Wha-! What's with this girl!" Sheeda yelled. "That's **my** Marth she stealing!" She grabbed Marth back, causing Anase to fall unceremoniously to the floor. "How dare you!"

"Ow..." Anase rubbed the back of her head to ease the pain.

"My, aren't we becoming quite the eccentric party..." luigifan2234 said. "In Sound, teams will stay here at the Third Encore Recording Studios. They must make their way to the lobby, where they will be given an audio tape. Teams must listen and use that tape to locate the dressing room of M-Dogg, a famous hip-hop artist in Neonopolis. He will give the teams the next clue."

"Light or Sound...let's do Sound. We have better hearing, anyway." Link said, he and Zelda running for the lobby.

"Well, that's true..." CronoMaster agreed.

_Roy and Lilina  
Currently in 2nd place  
Location: Third Encore Recording Studios  
_"Light or Sound?" Lilina muttered. "What kind of a choice is that?"

"Who knows?" Roy said. "Light sounds easier, though."

"Okay, then, where's the Ruby Island?" Lilina asked, flagging down a taxi.

_Yoshi and DK  
Currently in last place  
Location: Third Encore Recording Studios  
_"What do you think?" Yoshi asked. "Which is easier? Light or Sound?"

"I don't know..." DK said, mulling over the clue. "I think Light, though. It certainly seems easier."

"Will do!" Yoshi squeaked as they got into a taxi.

**Third Encore Recording Studios  
**"I don't think this is too hard." Link said as they ran through the hallways of the studio. "We're almost there, are we not?"

"I hope so..." Zelda lost it. "AIEE! What if we don't complete it in time and end up second?"

"That won't happen...at least I hope not..." Link said, muttering the last part to himself. "That would suck..."

**Ruby Island Hotel and Casino  
**Over there, things weren't much better. Roy and Lilina kept tripping over the wires and crashed into all kinds of things (a fish one time), and Yoshi and DK weren't doing so hot. DK kept sticking his boogers into the neon and got a fierce electrocution each time.

"If you keep doing that, you're going to short out the lights..." Roy said.

"I have no tissue, though..." DK said, wiping his nose on his arm.

"Eww...take this." Lilina threw a box of tissue at DK and clobbered him in the head by accident. "Oops!"

"I still can't find the clue..." Yoshi said. "This sucks."

**Third Encore Recording Studios  
**"YES!" Zelda yelled. "WE GOT THE CLUE!"

"Hurry up and open it already! I'm itching to be first!" Link read over her shoulder. "'Congratulations on making it this far. Now make your way to the finish line, the roof of the Midas Grand Casino in Neonopolis. Hurry, the time left is reduced.'"

"What are we waiting for?" Zelda squeaked. "Let's go!"

* * *

_Yeah, yeah... _

Time don't wait for no-one

_So my heart and my time I refuse to waste  
_

_You thought you knew the score but  
_

_There's just so much more when you're caught in the race

* * *

_

"What's that?" Nintendo Nut1 asked. 

"I decided to put in a song appropriate to the situation. Now, hurry!" Gamer21 commanded Nintendo Nut1. "Gather the authors and tell them to meet me at the roof of the Midas Grand Casino!"

"Yes sir!" Nintendo Nut1 triumphantly asserted.

"That's the way to show me friendship!" Gamer21 yelled. While Nintendo Nut1 was piling everyone into a van, he was rushing down Route 280 to the Grand Metropolis, and eventually, the Smash Mansion.

* * *

_What is love, without a flame?  
_

_What's a rose, without a name?  
_

_What is pleasure without pain?  
_

_It ain't nothing more than an empty space...

* * *

_

"HEY!" Gamer21 yelled, banging on the door of the Smash Mansion. After several strings of curses from the people inside, the Smashers opened up. 

"Who calls so loud?" Bowser asked.

"I'm taking you all to the Midas Casino for the Amazing Race finale."

"Sweet!" Peach said. With that, the Smashers piled into the nearby bus. Gamer21 was the last to get on, and after making sure everyone was there, he buckled up and rushed back onto the highway.

* * *

_Give me Everything or Nothing  
_

_Give me Everything or Nothing at all  
_

_Everything or Nothing  
_

_Give me Everything or Nothing at all  
_  
_He thought he knew who love was  
_

_'till he fell in the arms of another extreme  
_

_But who's to say things can't be changed  
_

_It's your world and tomorrow's not guaranteed

* * *

_

"So, who did you want to win?" Gamer21 asked. Several people said, 'Link and Zelda', some 'Roy and Lilina', and others 'Yoshi and DK'. Gamer21 grinned, he was ready for anything now as he sped at dangerous speeds down the highway into the Grand Metropolis.

* * *

_Can't drive a car without the keys  
_

_Give me the bowl cause a bite's just the tease  
_

_What good's the bottom without the top  
_

_And until I get it all, no, I'm not gonna stop, so...

* * *

_

"Okay, everyone, out of the van!" Nintendo Nut1 yelled. "Crono, get the camera! Anters, world mat now! Anase, lights! Everyone else, come with me!" Everyone rushed into the casino and piled into an elevator to the 40th floor, where they then took the stairs in the Sky Lounge to the roof. Before going inside, IloveRoy pasted a sign, saying, 'Finish Line This Way' before following after the others.

* * *

_Give me Everything or Nothing (I want it all, I want it all!)  
_

_Give me Everything or Nothing at all  
_

_Everything or Nothing  
_

_Give me Everything or Nothing at all

* * *

_

Link and Zelda were rushing towards the Midas Casino with their cabbie, commanding him to speed up and weave their way to the finish line. Only one thought was on their minds: 

'We have to win! We just **have** to!'

* * *

_Everything is all that I want  
_

_Everything is all that I want, I take what I want  
_

_Everything is all that I want  
_

_Everything, I get what I want

* * *

_

Meanwhile, Roy and Lilina and Yoshi and DK had located the clues after some difficulty, and was now racing down the stairs and elevators of the Ruby Island Casino. Now all three were in a breakneck race to the finish.

* * *

_Everything or Nothing (I take what I want)  
_

_Everything or Nothing (I get what I want)  
_

_Everything or Nothing (I take what I want)  
_

_Everything or Nothing (I get what I want)

* * *

_

"I'm here!" Gamer21 announced to all the authors as all the Smashers piled onto the small rooftop. "Quickly! Get into your positions!" Everyone was there, except for two people... 

"Where's Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch?" IloveRoy asked.

"Oh crap...I'm getting my rocket launcher." Gamer21 said as he ran back into the casino.

* * *

_What is love, without a flame?  
_

_What's a rose, without a name?  
_

_What good's the bottom without the top?  
_

_And until I get it all, no, I'm not gonna stop, so...

* * *

_

Link and Zelda were running into the elevator shaft and got into an elevator for the 40th floor. They were only 15 floors up when a missile whistled through and blew up the elevator they were in. Luckily, they managed to jump out and land on a balcony on the 14th floor. "What the hell! Who did that?" 

"Um, Link..." He followed Zelda's finger to a gaping hole in the wall, where Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch were opening fire on the casino. Another missile sailed at them, but they dodged and watched as the balcony exploded and collapsed to the casino floor.

"If I can't win, then neither will you!" Captain Falcon yelled as he riddled the walls with bullets.

"Keep moving!" Link yelled, running into another elevator and pounding the 40 button..

* * *

_Give me Everything or Nothing  
_

_Give me Everything or Nothing at all  
_

_Everything or Nothing  
_

_Give me Everything or Nothing at all

* * *

_

Roy and Lilina and Yoshi and DK were having their own problems. They were dodging falling elevators, debris, and flames as they made their way to an elevator, but DK decided against it and stampeded up the stairs. Rocks crushed the remaining elevators, so they had no choice either.

* * *

_Give me everything...  
_

_Everything or Nothing at all  
_

_Give me everything...  
_

_Give me Everything or Nothing at all

* * *

"AHA!" Gamer21 leaned over the railing of the Midas Casino and aimed the AT-420 at the chopper attacking the casino. The building shook again, and everyone was thrown off balance. "I only need one shot..." He closed his eyes and fired._

Link and Zelda were bracing for an explosion when Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch when their chopper blew up another balcony, this time on the 28th floor. But it never came. Link ventured to look, and saw Captain Falcon and Mr Game & Watch's chopper swerve wildly and crash into the 39th floor balcony. The F-Zero racer and the 2-D game character escaped the burning chopper just as it fell over the side and plummeted to a crash on the 1st floor many stories below.

"That was close!" Zelda said.

"Man, we almost got killed!" Link agreed. "Now it's smooth sailing from here."

"Hey, it's Link and Zelda!" Lilina yelled. They turned and noticed Yoshi and DK collapsed on the ground from exhaustion, and Roy and Lilina were sweating bullets from their stair climb. "We're not going to lose!"

"Oh, yeah?" Link announced, distracting them with a Deku Nut. "Well, you'll have to beat us first!"

"Oh, you little-" Roy and Lilina rushed off after them, with Yoshi and DK limping behind.

"Ooh...I knew I shouldn't have eaten that banana in the car..." DK muttered, doubling over and clutching his stomach.

"Come on!" Yoshi yelled, dragging the ape. "We're so close!"

* * *

_Everything or Nothing (I take what I want)  
_

_Everything or Nothing (I get what I want)_

_Everything or Nothing (I take what I want)  
_

_Everything or Nothing (I get what I want)

* * *

_

Nintendo Nut1, CronoMaster, and the other authors were all standing quietly on the world mat, with all the other teams in front of them standing in lines of two. Some were chanting 'Link and Zelda', some 'Roy and Lilina', and others 'Yoshi and DK'. The three final teams burst forth from the doors of the control tower, running vigorously to the finish line. 

"GO LINK!" Nintendo Nut1 chanted.

"COME ON, ROY!" IloveRoy and ShadowHawkX3 chanted.

"YOU CAN DO IT, YOSHI!" Anters yelled.

"It's too close to call!" Gamer21 said. Then Link surprised everyone by grabbing Zelda and jumping onto the finish line,...

* * *

_Give me Everything or Nothing at all!

* * *

_

CRASH! BAM! BOOM!

...but collided with Roy and Lilina and Yoshi and DK, which sent them all into the eliminated teams and the authors. They were all stunned, to say the least.

"Ow..." Nintendo Nut1 said, rubbing her back gingerly. "That hurt."

"Geez, what the hell were you people thinking?" superdave groaned.

"Ow! That was my foot!" Fox complained.

"Wrong! That's mine!" Pikachu yelled.

"Get off of me!" Mewtwo yelled. He used psychic to pitch the people who were on him, Link and Zelda, out of his way. They flew a few inches, and crash-landed _on the finish line._

"Ow...Mewtwo!" Zelda protested. "What's with you, huh? If I wasn't-"

"But Zelda, he did us a favor. LOOK!" Link said, pointing excitedly to the ground. It took half a minute for Zelda to realize they were on the finish line, and she immediately went crazy, jumping onto Link and kissing him with all her heart. During this commotion, Nintendo Nut1 and Gamer21 managed to escape the tangle of bodies and walked onto the small stage.

"Well, well, Link and Zelda." Nintendo Nut1 began. "After 27,985 miles, 12 lands, 18 cities, and 2 months, I am proud to say that you are the official winners of the Amazing Race!" Everyone cheered and whooped, until Captain Falcon and Mr. Game & Watch limped in, collapsing onto the roof. "Look what the cat dragged in..."

"But there's no cat." Anters said, hugging Yoshi.

"Shut up..."

"BOO! Doth thou come hither to fleer and scorn at our solemnity?" Gamer21 demanded.

"Crap...even with the plans, we failed..." Captain Falcon groaned.

"Yes you did." CronoMaster growled.

"I'd keep an eye on myself when we get back to the Mansion..." Ness said with a dark undercurrent in his voice.

"Anyway, Link and Zelda, you have won the million dollars." Nintendo Nut1 continued as Gamer21 gave them a treasure chest with $1,000,000 in cash, gold and jewels and a box with the final Souvenir Set in it. He was understandably happy. "You were to ones that I wanted to win, and you did just that."

"WOO-HOO!" Nintendo Nut1 did a bit of a happy dance before Yoshi and DK limped over to the world map, followed closely by Roy and Lilina. "Yoshi and DK, you are the second place team on the race. Roy and Lilina, you are the third place team on the race."

"Yay!" Yoshi squeaked. "We're second!"

"YEAH! WOO-HOO!" Anters hollered. Gamer21 handed them $500,000 and a Souvenir Set.

"Well, I have no regrets for coming third, I guess." Roy answered.

"Yay!" IloveRoy and ShadowHawkX3 cheered as Gamer21 handed them $250,000 and a Souvenir Set.

"I'm glad to see everyone's happy, then." luigifan2234 said. CronoMaster had a small smile on his lips; Anase was cheering for all the teams; doubledude was relieved that Yoshi came in second, and superdave was hollering and cheering like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

"That was fun." Link told the camera minutes later. "I'm glad to have been on the Amazing Race with Zelda, and it brought us closer together."

"Thanks, Link." Zelda replied. "We might have had our little problems here and there, but we ended up doing a good job: we won!"

"Yes, and I think we'll remember this for years to come." Link finished.

* * *

"Woo-hoo! We got second place!" Yoshi squeaked. "The whole race in itself was fun, though."

"I wouldn't change a thing on what we did on that race." DK added. "It's a life-changing experience for all of us, so I don't plan on forgetting anytime soon."

* * *

"That was fun..." Roy quipped. "Didn't exactly come in first, but this experience has brought Lilina and I closer together."

"Thanks, Roy." Lilina said with joy. "I loved this race, it helped us become closer. I-I wouldn't trade that for anything."

"Lilina..." Roy said with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

* * *

"You're leaving?" Peach said, shocked.

"We are." Nintendo Nut1 said. "Some of us still have stories to finish, stories to start, and some to write."

"But we will meet again." CronoMaster said. "I believe the thread of fate will bring us back."

"Bye, Yoshi!" Anters yelled. "I'll miss you!"

"Same for me, Mewtwo!" Zephyr Analea waved. "Goodbye!"

"Farewell to all of you!" LegoMan727 yelled.

"See you later..." superdave said.

"Bye, Roy!" IloveRoy waved. "Take care!"

"Good luck in the tournament, all of you!" doubledude bid.

"I hope you kick some butt, Marth!" Anase yelled.

"Kick some asses and turn some heads, Roy!" ShadowHawkX3 yelled.

"Have a great life!" luigifan2234 yelled.

"Farewell to all of you!" Gamer21 shouted.

"BYE!" all the Smasher yelled, more or less than others.

**_FIN

* * *

_**

By the way, the song is from the video game _007: Everything or Nothing_ for those of the curiosity. And if you see Nintendo Nut1, bid her a great birthday, all right? See you next time!

Gamer21


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